I'm Sammy. I was 16 then, I was happy, I had everything I could possibly want. I was madly in love with a boy called Ben, who invited me to his 18th birthday, I remember being so excited that day, planning what I was going to wear, getting ready with my best friend Amber.
Amber's gone now. All that's left is her bracelet: she borrowed it me for the party, and that's the only thing that remains of her that I have. She was the other half of me, we grew up together. Saturday night hanging out at the park, then going back to mine for a girly night. That's how it always used to be. And the reason Amber's gone is because of that night. The night of the party. The party that turned out to be the worst thing that had ever happened to me.
I'm 19 now. And it's hard for me writing this. The horrible things that happened that night still haunt me. I still have nightmares, wake up screaming. I have hallucinations of the memories. The memories I just want to screw up and throw into the nearest river so they get washed away and disappear forever.
People say everything happens for a reason, but I'm not so sure. But what I do know is that the past is something I can never erase. As much as I wish I could start a new life and be a new person the past is still going to be trailing behind me. It's always going to be lurking in my mind, and that's something I can never get rid of.
So I'm going to tell the story of that night. I've never really put all the parts together before. It's always been a mix of events and memories in my mind, and I guess I've never really made sense of it. But now, 3 years later, I think I need to put it into my own words, and maybe I'll feel like a weight has been lifted off me, or then again maybe I won't feel any better. But it's worth a try...