7. Another surpise
So that's what happened, Amber was killed, and soon after I started to get depressed, and sometimes I even self harmed. I'd lost my best friend, and loss is one of the most horrible things that anyone can go through.
I had my friends and family, and Luke was more close to me than before, but I never really let anyone in after that. I guess I just shut away the world. My parents were so worried about me. I wouldn't eat and I'd spend most of my time alone in my room, with my brain still whirling over the details of that night.
Around 2 months later I felt as though I'd changed. To be honest I didn't know if what I felt could be called grieving, because it had started getting much worse. I'd been sick so much. I was having a cold shower one night, and I noticed my tummy. It was tight, and it looked much bigger than usual. I turned off the shower, and the cold water dripped off my skin. I stepped in front of the mirror in the bathroom fully naked, and placed my hands on my tummy. I knew I'd hardly eaten, so it wasn't that I was getting fat. It was something else. The things me and Ben did on that night before Amber was killed, I knew now. I was pregnant. I was pregnant...
How could I possibly look after a tiny baby if I could hardly even look after myself?