Ryan felt it was best to change the subject and he started asking other random questions.I asked him some too and some were so ridiculous we couldn't help but laugh.I was surprised at some of his responses because they were things I didn't expect from him.
"Okay personal question time!Have you ever had your first kiss?"
I feel uncomfortable with the question and I'm not sure what to say.I look down nervous and remain silent.
"Oh umm that was a stupid question...sorry,just ignore it."
"You should just ask me something haha."
"Okay...have you ever kissed someone?"
"What does that mean?"
"Well you asked if I ever kissed someone...and technically I haven't yet."
"So you've never had your first kiss?"
"Okay remember when we were talking about the whole Derek thing by the tree?"
"Well we had our argument and then before I left...you kind of...kissed me."
That's right!I suddenly feel uneasy and look down.
"It's fine...sure you stole my first kiss I guess but I didn't kiss back.So technically to answer your question,no I've never kissed anyone."
"Have any other girls ever kissed you?"
"Besides my mom?No,haha."
I suddenly feel a bit of joy within me knowing that no other girls have robbed Ryan of a kiss,especially since I can confirm that Angie has never touched his lips.
"So (YN) have you ever had a boyfriend?"
"You were always socially awkward then?"
"Not always,but people change you know."
"What about you?"
"Umm I haven't even kissed a girl on my own haha.Not a very smart question."
"Well maybe you had a girlfriend but you two never kissed."
"That's a possibility but no,I haven't.I've been living the single life for a while."
"You could totally jam out to Beyonce's song Single Ladies anytime you want haha."
"I guess haha.Why can't you?"
"Umm hello it's called,Single Ladies.Last time I checked I was a guy."
"Oh right haha!I feel dumb."
"Don't feel dumb you just had a minor moment of stupidity."
"That sounds worse!"
"Your right...haha sorry (YN) I didn't mean it like that."
"Sure you didn't haha."
"Haha I didn't honest."
"So I have another personal question to ask."
What is he going to ask?
"Do you,like anybody?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like...do you like someone."
"Well I like you?"
"I know but do you like like anyone?"
"Umm...like I like them as a boyfriend?"
"Scratch that,no,I don't like anybody."
"Do you find anybody cute or attractive looking?"
"Well fine then!"
"I'm cute.You don't think so?",he then makes a puppy dog face and I smile.
"Haha yes Ryan your cute."
"Aww thank you!Haha your cute too."
"I'm pretty sure we already established this earlier haha."
"Who cares,I just wanted to know if you were attracted to any guys."
"I told you I was curious haha.Plus if you want I could hook you up." He winks at me and I smile.
"Hook me up?"
"Yeah I could get you a boyfriend."
"I don't think I want one.Besides I'm pretty sure no guy wants to be my boyfriend."
"Your wrong,a lot of guys actually think your really cute and would consider dating you."
"How do you know?"
"I hear things and people tell me."
"Guys,haha some of my friends have actually said they would definitely date you but your completely off limits."
"Why do they think that?"
"Hello why don't they think that?You don't talk to anyone and you completely ignore all of society."
"Well,I have my reasons."
"I get that but it wouldn't hurt to work on your people skills.I mean you became friends with me and how did that turn out for you?"
"Yeah,we got into a fight and didn't talk to each other for a while."
"But look at us now sitting in my room talking and laughing."
I smile and look down.
"Haha okay well it's not so bad but not all people are like you."
"What do you mean like me?"
"Your just you and I like you as a person but other people might be complete jerks."
"Can you give me an example?"
"Well Derek isn't so bad."
"He wrecked our friendship."
"But it's fine now."
"I don't care.I can't stand him and he took my first kiss.Plus he can't take a hint!"
"Okay I get it,you don't have to be friendly with him but you could try with other people."
"I'll think about it...but do you Ryan Dawson like anybody?"
"There's this one girl who's constantly on my mind."
"Really?Can you tell me?"
"I don't know how you'll react."
"Just tell me."
He looks down and sighs.
What the hell?No!He can't like Angie!He just met her and he doesn't even know her!
"I don't know something about her just...I don't know."
"B-b-b-but you barely met her.That's insane you can't like someone you just met and you don't even really talk to her and...and...and...You can't like Angie Ryan!You just can't!"
"Wow calm down!"
"But you can't like her...please you can't."
"Relax there's nothing to worry about."
"I don't like Angie."
"But you just said-"
"I know I was just teasing you.Haha I knew you didn't like her so I wanted to see your reaction.Thought it'd be pretty funny,and it was.Haha."
"Well I'm glad to hear you got a laugh out of a stupid joke!"
"Relax I was only kidding."
"Well don't do it anymore!"
"I don't care..."
"Why were you so worked up anyways?"
"Because I don't want to lose you."
"How would you lose me?"
"When we were in a fight,you started talking to her and I felt like you were replacing me with her.And she always wants to hang out with you.It's annoying sometimes."
"Look I'm not gonna leave you.I'm here for you."
"That's what you said last time,that you'd never leave me no matter what but you still left..." I look down and tighten my hands into a fist.I begin to remember what it was like when Ryan had abandoned me as a friend and I didn't enjoy the feeling of it at all.I then feel hands on my face and I know they're his.He gently lifts my head and I'm looking up at him.
"I'm sorry I let you down before...but it won't ever happen again.I promise.",he then holds out his pinkie and I take it with mine.He smiles and I smile back.
"I promise to never leave you and that I'll always be here for you."
"Forever and always."
He smiles at me sweetly and I just stare into his eyes.They're magnificent and I haven't stared into them in a while.My eyes are suddenly locked on his and I don't want to blink,it'll only break it.I suddenly feel nervous and I can feel my heart beating steadily;it's silent in the room and I can practically hear my own heart beat,can he?I begin to feel myself being pulled into some sort of trance and I begin to wonder if he can feel it too.I have no control of my body and I remain still with no movement whatsoever.I notice him slightly beginning to lean forward and I remain motionless.We've had this moment before back at my house but Ryan ended it.Maybe this time...we would end up having that kiss.He is leaning in closer and his lips are just inches away from mine,having no control I slowly begin to shut my eyes and await for our lips to meet.It's almost as if I can sense his lips each time he leans in closer.I can feel it now,our lips are so close and just about to touch;I begin to feel the very tip of his lips upon my mine ready to press against them.I await patiently for his lips to finally press against mine.Just as he is about to kiss me the door opens and we both immediately retreat.I look to the door and see Michelle standing there with a smile.
"Dinner is ready."
"Yeah we'll be down in a sec mom."
She closes the door behind her on her way out and the room is filled with silence.I look down and slowly begin to process what just happened.First,Ryan and I got caught up in a moment.Second he was just about to kiss me.And third,I wanted him to.I'm too embarrassed to even look at him and right now and I just wonder what's going through his head right now.
"We should go eat.",he says.
He gets up and I get up behind him.We head downstairs and I stand by their table.Ryan heads into the kitchen with his mom and comes back with drinks.He sets them down on the table and goes back to the kitchen for utensils.I feel like I should help but I'm nervous and not sure what I could do to help.Michelle tells me to take a seat so I do.Ryan takes a seat soon after in the seat across from me.Michelle comes with plates of food and sets them down.She heads back to the kitchen to get her plate and then comes back to take her seat.The table is a rectangle so she is sitting at the end of the table to my left and to Ryan's right.I look to Ryan and then to Michelle wondering if they do anything before they eat.I see them both dig in so I decide it's fine for me to start eating.Michelle made baked potatoes and steak.I enjoyed her cooking,probably because I'm so used to eating leftovers and microwave foods.
"How do you like your food (YN)?"
"Thank you.And you Ryan?"
"It's great as usual mom."
"So what did you two do?"
I begin to feel nervous and I look to Ryan with a piece of steak in my mouth.He looks up at me and then to his mom.
"We just did homework and talked."
"About anything interesting?"
"Just each other."
For the rest of dinner we all talked and ate together,it felt nice.I'm not used to any of this but I was enjoying myself.Eating alone gets pretty boring,Ryan is lucky he gets to come home everyday to a homemade meal and a mother to talk to.Even when my mother is home,it's rare for me to talk to her.We all finish up our dinner and I take my plate to the sink.I wash it and then put it in their dish rack for it to dry.Ryan got mad at me when he saw I washed my dish but I told him I was showing my manners.He said he didn't care and I should have just left it in the sink like a good house guest.
"(YN),would you like me to take you home now?"
I look to Ryan an then back to Michelle.
"If it's not too much to ask."
"Oh of course it's not.Go get your things and I'll take you right now."
"Okay thank you."
"No problem honey."
I head upstairs and go into Ryan's room getting my backpack.I put one strap over my shoulder and then I look to Ryan's bed.I begin to imagine Ryan and I sitting there earlier when we were about to kiss.I turn around immediately and head for the door,I end up bumping into Ryan and jump up scared.
"Sorry did I scare you?"
"Umm...yeah you kind of did."
"Yeah it's fine,it was an accident."
"I'm sorry about earlier too."
I look at him and know he's talking about our almost kiss.I look down a bit nervous that he brought this up but manage to say, "It's okay...that was an accident too."
I then place my hair behind my ear looking down.
"Yeah...I guess it was."
We both then head downstairs and Michelle is down there ready to leave.We all head outside and get into the car.We drive off and Michelle is making most of the conversation as always.We soon arrive and I get out of the car.I tell Michelle goodbye and thank you.Ryan gets out and insists on walking me to my door.We both head to my house and I get out my keys.I look to him and we are both standing in front of my door.
"So did you have fun?"
"Haha,I did actually.Thanks for inviting me over."
"It was no problem really,it was great having you over."
"Haha I know where to go eat my dinner now.",I joke.
"Hmm I don't know if we can handle you over that much haha."
"I'm kidding haha,you know my mom adores you."
"And do you?"
"I have to put up with it."
He then makes a face and I make a surprised look.
"I'm kidding!Learn how to take a joke haha."
I then open the door and step into my house.I look back to him and he is smiling.
"See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah,I'll see you in the morning."
I smile and wave goodbye to him.He walks off and I watch him enter the car.They both drive off and then I close the door locking it behind me.I place my backpack in a corner then I go get ready for bed and head into my room.As I lay down I can't help but think about Ryan.He promised he'd always be there for me no matter what and then we almost kissed,again.I'm not sure why but when I stare into his eyes I feel like I'm being compelled by them and I have no control over it.I decide it's just a "stuck in the moment" thing.I get comfortable and begin to drift off to sleep.