When Monday came I wasn't really looking forward to school but it meant being able to see Ryan so I didn't mind so much.I mean I haven't actually been hanging around Ryan lately because I was avoiding him but since Friday it seems like were friends again.I have to admit I'm really glad that Ryan and I are back to being friends and things will go back to normal.
I think for a moment and begin to question whether or not the friendship between Ryan and I will be the same.I mean we did talk things over but then again he did tell me he liked me.Would that complicate things?
I decide to just ignore the thought because thinking about it would only boggle my mind.After I eat a small breakfast,I grab my backpack and pull one strap over my shoulder allowing it to hang close by my side.I open up my door and to my surprise I see Ryan standing there smiling down at me,looking as if he was about to knock.
"Well you don't sound to happy to see me." He then makes a puppy dog face and I just playfully roll my eyes then smile.
"I was just a bit surprised to see you,that's all.I'm sorry."
"Haha,you don't have to apologize cutie.Seeing your smile is enough of an apology for me." He then smiles and I feel small flutters in my stomach.
"Uh so w-what are you doing here?"
"Well I figured we could walk to school together,I got up extra early to make sure you didn't leave without me."
"Oh,are you tired?"
"I'm fine,don't worry about me." He reassures me with a smile.I smile back and then I step foot out of my house.I close the door behind me then Ryan and I begin our walk to school together.The walk is just like all the walks we've had before,nothing seems to be awkward between us so I guess I have nothing to worry about.
When we get to school Ryan walks me to class and the two of us stand outside of the classroom.Were pretty much alone,it doesn't seem like anybody is anywhere near us.I look down at my feet for a moment then I look back up to see his face.He notices me looking at him and smiles at me.I smile slightly,then I feel myself blush so I try to hide it by looking to the side but I think Ryan still noticed.
"Don't hide your pretty face."
"Sorry,just a little embarrassed..."
"You don't have to be.And if it helps pink suits you pretty well."
He smiles and I feel myself blush even more.
"See,you look even cuter now that your cheeks are a bit brighter."
I look down hiding my face and say, "Thanks for walking with me and for walking me to class."
"No need for thanks,it was a pleasure really.Haha believe me when I say I wanted to."
"Oh I believe you haha."
It grows quiet for a bit then I finally let out, "You should probably start heading to class now."
"I really don't want to but you're probably right.Well I guess I'll see you later then."
He walks off and I smile as I watch him leave,when he's finally plain out of my sight I head into the class and take my seat at my desk.The day goes on like any other day.In fourth I take my seat at my my desk and wait for class to start.I see Ryan walk in;he looks at me and smiles.He places his backpack on the chair of his desk then walks over to me taking a seat at the desk in front of me.He turns around to face me and smiles.I smile back and say, "Hey,"
"How's it going cutie?"
"Haha same old same old I guess."
"Can I do anything to make your day?"
"Haha no I'm fine."
"Are you sure?I'll do anything." He smiles at me and I smile back.
"Haha you're too sweet."
"Awww you think I'm sweet?"
"Yes and I think your cute too."
I see his face turn a light shade of pink and I smile.He looks down slightly hiding his face;he looks back up still a little pink but he manages to pull a smile.He finally lets out, "Well it seems that instead of me making your day you made mine."
He smiles at me but before I can smile back I notice a figure standing by us.I look up and see a student staring at us then she looks to Ryan.He's probably just sitting in her desk.
"Oh is this your desk?"
"I'm really sorry I was just trying to talk to (YN) here."
Ryan then looks to me and says, "Haha,well I guess I'll go back to my desk now.Wanna hang out at lunch?"
He then gets up to go to his desk.I see him sitting in his desk and he looks back at me;he smiles at me and I smile back then the two of us turn our attention to the front of the class.The bell soon rings and Mr.Johnson begins class.He gives us a lecture and a small independent activity to do for the remainder of the period.I turn in the assignment as soon as I finish.For the last five minutes of class Mr.Johnson gives us our homework assignment which isn't really anything.Just read the next chapter of The Great Gatsby and of course annotate.
The sound of the bell drives the class to pack their things and rush out of the classroom.Ryan and I are the only two left in the class,he was of course waiting for me and I was still finishing packing up.Ryan heads over to me and I soon put away all my things.I pull my backpack over my shoulder and the two of us begin our leave of the classroom together.Before we can step out Mr.Johnson calls us. "Ryan,(YN) do you mind if I ask you two something?"
Ryan and I look to each other then back to him.Ryan responds with, "No,not at all." He starts walking towards Mr.Johnson and I decide to follow close behind. "What is it sir?", Ryan asks.
"Well I was just wondering if you would confirm the speculation around you two."
"Confirm?", Ryan says.
"Speculation?", I add on looking at Mr.Johnson perplexed.
"I'm certain you are aware of the rumors that claim you two are dating."
I'm caught off guard by his remark and I feel my face warm up a little.I know about the rumors but I didn't expect to be asked about them by a teacher,of all people.
"No sir were not dating,haha.Were just friends." Ryan says.
"Ah,I see well please forgive me for asking.It wasn't a very appropriate thing to ask you two.It's just well I mean I was curious and to be honest even though knowing it was a rumor,I wouldn't find it very hard to believe.You two do appear as though you are."
"Haha,well we're sorry to inform you that we aren't."
"I'm a bit disappointed,you two could've made "cutest couple" in the yearbook."
I feel my face warm up even more;Knowing that the hint of my blush is now noticeable,I look down not wanting Ryan or Mr.Johnson to see. "Again,were sorry to disappoint you.Haha."
"No need to."
"Well we really should be off then,goodbye Mr.Johnson."
"Goodbye you two."
Ryan and I then leave the classroom.I'm still looking down hiding my blushing face.We soon arrive at the tree and we take a seat.I remain with my head slightly down hiding it from Ryan. "You don't have to hide your blushing from me,I've seen it plenty of times before.Haha." Dammit!That only made me blush even more! "Haha come on (YN) look at me." I look up slightly revealing a hint of my face. "More,come on I wanna see your pretty face." He smiles at me and seeing him smile makes me feel obligated to show him my face.I sigh lightly and lift my head fully allowing him to see my entire face.He smiles at me then he says, "Whenever your blushing,just remind yourself how cute you look so you don't have to be embarrassed." I feel my face warm even more and I'm certain Ryan notices.
"Th-that didn't help at all!"
"Well it sure helped me haha!"
"Because,you're blushing even more and you look really cute when you blush.I think I scored haha."
"R-Ryan stop it you're just making it worse!"
"Better for me haha!"
"R-r-ryan,please cut it out already."
"Aww alright,I'm sorry cutie I just couldn't help myself.You really are too cute,even when you're not blushing."
I feel my face warm a little at what he said but this time I'm not embarrassed.I just stare at his face with his sweet gentle smile.I look into his gorgeous captivating eyes and I slowly begin to feel compelled by them.I don't do anything,I just stare into his eyes,I haven't even bothered to pay attention to his smile.I begin to lean in forward slowly so I can get a better look of his eyes. "(YN)," Hearing my name snaps me back into reality.I pull myself back realizing what happened.I guess it wasn't anything too bad but I still feel embarrassed. "Please don't rush anything.I want you to take your time."
"R-right,of course.I'm sorry it's just...you have really nice eyes."
He smiles at me sweetly then says, "Yours are pretty nice too...and your smile."
I look down and tuck my hair behind my ear. "Thanks,"
"No need for thanks,it's the truth." I look up at him and smile.I notice his face turn a light shade of pink but I choose to not say anything.He tries to hide the slight hint of his blush with a smile.We go on with our lunch talking and laughing like we normally do.Throughout all of lunch I can't help but notice how cute Ryan actually is.I mean I guess I've noticed a bit before but I never really bothered to pay any attention like I am now.
When the bell rings to go to class Ryan offers to walk me.I tell him no but of course he insists and I allow him to do so.Before he leaves,he asks me for a hug goodbye.As soon as we let go he smiles down at me then leaves.I watch him go,and as I watch him I notice a smile come across my face.This catches my attention and I immediately wipe that smile off my face.I walk into class and take a seat at my desk.
It takes a while for fifth period to end but when it does I couldn't have been more relieved;I get to go to sixth period now and Ryan is in my sixth period.I get to see him again.A smile comes to my face at the thought and I walk to class like that not caring if anybody saw.When I arrived at my sixth I walked in and took a seat at my desk right next to Ryan.I glanced at him and he smiled at me. "Wow,is that smile for me?" That's right I forgot I was still smiling.IDIOT!
I don't want to be awkward or anything so I just respond with, "You wish." He then makes a puppy dog face and I can't help but think how adorable he looks.I smile again but this time a bit bigger.
"What about that one?Is that one for me?"
I playfully roll my eyes and just say, "Yes Ryan,this smile is for you.Haha."
"Awww you smiled for me.That's sweet of you.You just made my day."
"Hahaha your welcome."
"You know what would be the cherry on top of my day?"
"Walking home a pretty girl."
"I wonder where you could find one." I decide to just play dumb.
"Doesn't look like I know any pretty girls," I feel a bit upset at his comment.I know I was playing dumb and all but he didn't have to play along and basically tell me I'm not pretty.Whatever I don't really care anyways. "Guess I'll have to settle for a beauty like you.How's about it?Can I walk you home?"
I look down shyly feeling flustered.I can tell my cheeks are pink right now and Ryan probably knows it too. "Y-you usually do anyways..."
"So you don't mind cutie?"
"Haha,alright," I remain looking down embarrassed and then I turn my attention towards the front of the class.When class starts I just hope that my blushing dies down soon.I know that I've blushed in front of him before but today was literally just blush after blush after blush!I swear something is probably wrong with me.
At the end of class everyone packs their things.Ryan waits for me and soon I'm ready to go.The two of us walk out of class together and begin our walk off the school campus.We walk home together and the entire time we just laughed and talked.When we arrive at my house,Ryan walks me all the way to my door.I have my backpack hanging over one of my shoulders;I turn and lean against my door to face him.
"Thanks for walking me home."
"Haha thanks for letting me,didn't want to bother you or anything." He smiles at me sweetly and I do the same.I look at his eyes and I stare at them for a bit.Eventually my attention gets drawn to his lips.As I stare at them I begin to bite the inside of my cheek.They're so tempting to kiss right now.
"I can't tell you how bad I want to kiss you right now." He chuckles lightly after his remark.
Did he just say he wanted to kiss me?!He did!I heard it,I'm not hearing things!So I guess it's not just me here wanting for a kiss to happen between us.I bite my lip trying to think of something to say. "Then why don't you." Maybe we'll both get what we want now.
He looks down and smiles then he looks back up at me. "It's nothing personal,I mean I really would like to kiss you it's just..."
"I don't think it's a good idea."
"We've done it before."
"I know but I mean,I already kissed you once.If I'm ever going to kiss you a second time I'd want us to be in a relationship.I just think that's the best way,we can't just be kissing each other randomly practically like friends with benefits."
"So the only way we'd kiss again...is if were a couple?"
"Yeah," I look down taking some time to think for myself. "But you don't have to decide that right now.I really want you to take your time so that you can make the right decision."
"Well what exactly would be the right decision here?"
"Whatever you think is the best for you.Don't pick being with me just because you think it'll make me happy.It would,I'm not gonna lie, but I want to make sure you're happy to.And if you're not happy being with me well I'm okay with just being friends."
"That's really thoughtful of you."
"I guess being with you wouldn't be bad."
"Haha it's okay,take all the time you need to sort it out."
"Anytime.I'll see you later cutie."
I watch him as he walks off.I lean against the door thinking about the day.It suddenly occurs to me that Ryan has been calling me "cutie" all day.Before he walks off any further I call out to him.He stops and looks back at me. "What's with this new nickname you have for me?"
He gives a confused expression as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "What nickname?"
"You've kind of been calling me 'cutie' all day."
A smile the comes across his face. "Because you are." He says,before he walks off.I watch him leave and when he is plain out of my sight the blushing I was fighting slowly starts to kick in.I turn around facing my door to open it.I step inside closing the door behind me.I look down at my feet and begin tapping them together.Ryan's smiling face suddenly pops into mind and I feel myself blush even more.I suddenly hear his voice in my head saying, "Because you are";I feel my entire face burn up and my cheeks begin to feel numb.I let out a sigh hoping it may relieve my flustered feelings at the moment.
The next day wasn't very different,however when Ryan would call me "cutie" my cheeks would instantly burn up.And when he would make flirty remarks I would just look down embarrassed not giving a response.He would respond to my reaction by claiming that he was only kidding but let's be honest,he and I both know that even though he says he's kidding,he really does mean it.
The rest of the week went by pretty much the same but it seemed like the more days that passed,the more I would blush and feel nervous around him.I tried reasoning with myself why I would feel this way and every time I would conclude that it may be possible that I like him too,I would quickly deny the thought and refuse to believe it.I figured it could possibly be something else.
On Friday Ryan walked me home,like usual.We both stood in front of my door looking at each other in silence.I couldn't help but feel awkward.I thanked him for walking me home and told he me he didn't mind.I wanted to make some small talk but I couldn't bring myself to,I was just too nervous.He made a small comment about the weather but it wasn't enough to break the awkward feeling between us.I decided that I had to say something,Ryan already made an effort so it's my turn.I tried to think of things to say and without even thinking I said, "How can you tell when you like a person?"
Ryan gave me a look of surprise at what I had said.It was a awhile until I realized what I had just said.I'm such an idiot.Why can't I think before I speak?Panic and anxiety begin to build up inside of me and I feel and urge to just run inside my house and slam the door.Before I take any action I notice a change in Ryan's expression and he flashes me a smile. "Why do you ask?" Crap now I'm really nervous.
"I was just curious,it was a stupid question sorry lets just ignore it."
It grows silent again.
"You know (YN),you don't have to rush anything.I'll wait for your response even if it takes a month or three.Even if it were a year,I'd wait.As long as were still friends during that time I'm fine.Don't beat yourself up trying to figure stuff out.I know you will eventually." I look up to his smiling face and I stare at him.He really is sweet.Well I know that I like that about him. "I'll see you later okay." He smiles and walks off.I watch him leave as I lean against my door.He turns back and notices me watching him;he flashes me a sweet smile so I smile back and wave goodbye.He turns back around and continues his walk.
In my house,there was really nothing much I could do.I really wish Ryan could have just stayed over or maybe I could have just gone to his house.Either way,being with with him is better than being home alone bored with nothing to do.
I was watching TV when my mom suddenly burst into the house.I jumped a bit surprised to see her home. "Mom what are you doing home?"
"Oh hi sweety,sorry I was just in such a rush to get home."
"Why?Shouldn't you be at work."
"Well actually we've been invited to go out to dinner."
"Yes,we're going out to eat."
"Just some friends from work.We're all going out to a restaurant.So please hurry and get ready."
"I'm coming too?"
"Of course you are.You are my daughter aren't you?"
"Well I just thought since it was work it was related with business and stuff."
"Some of it is but not too much.Now hurry and go get ready so we can leave,the dinner starts at six."
I hurried to get ready since my mother was so anxious to leave already but we did have some time.Maybe the restaurant was far or something.I looked around through my closet but I wasn't sure what I should wear.If we're going out to a restaurant then I think semi-formal would be the best choice.But what if this restaurant is high class?Maybe everyone there is dressed super casual then I'll be the idiot in fancy clothes.I guess I can't really go wrong with wearing a dress,as long as it's not too formal or anything too casual if the restaurant does turn out to be a fancy place.I decide to throw on an old strapless tube navy blue belted tiered dress my mom bought me and wear a shortened jean jacket over it.I figure I could just put on some flats.I dig around through my shoes and find an old pair of black flats.I slip one on but my foot doesn't go in.I check the shoe size only to find that it isn't my size.It must be an older shoe that I had before.What shoes do I wear now?I walk over to my mom's room and see her digging around through her closet.
She turns her head and looks to me. "What is it?"
"I was wondering if you had a pair of shoes that I might be able to wear."
"Oh of course sweety,what kinds do you want?"
"Well I was sort of hoping you had a pair of flats,preferably black."
"Oh I don't think I have any flats but I may have some black heels or platforms,maybe even wedges."
I didn't like either of those options but I didn't have much of a choice,I guess I'll have to settle for the wedges.I ask my mom if I could borrow her wedges and she gladly looks for them then hands them to me.Instead of a pair of black ones she gives me some brown ones.She told me my dress would look better with them than with a pair of black ones.I head into my room with them and I sit on my bed.I slip on the shoes and I stand up.I fear that I may trip and fall but I seem fine.I take one step and then another.I walk down the hallway and into my mom's room.She sees me and smiles.
"Can you walk in them?"
"I think so,I haven't had any trouble so far."
"Yeah,I'm all set."
"Want me to do your makeup?"
"Do I need it?"
"No,my daughter is a pretty girl." She smiles and I smile back but not with much of an effort.The two of us head into the living room and then my mom double checks that she has everything.Once she's done checking we both head out of the house;my mom makes sure to lock the door and then we head into the car.My mom puts in her keys then starts the car.We drive off and I sit in my seat patiently.
We arrive at the restaurant and my mom parks the car.The drive only took us about forty minutes.My mom and I both get out of the car and I follow after her as she leads the way to the restaurant.When we step in I realize the restaurant isn't too fancy but it isn't just plain casual either.I guess I made the right choice for my outfit.My mom talks to some people that work at the restaurant and one of them leads us to a long table where some people are already seated.They all greet my mom and she greets them as well.She introduces me to all of them and they all eagerly shake my hand.I smile as hard as I can not wanting to leave them with the impression that I was rude.My mom and I take our seats at the table and a few them all start talking to each other.I feel a bit left out,I mean they're all adults so I don't really mind but it'd be nice if I could have at least someone to talk to,and preferably someone my own age.
As time passes more and more people begin to show up.There are still a few seats empty so I guess we're all waiting for everyone to arrive.I hear some people greeting another person.I don't pay too much attention to anything until I hear my name.I look up to my mom,I'm pretty sure it was her that called me. "(YN) this is Mark," I look up to see a man dressed in a nice suit smiling at me offering me his hand.I take it and shake it giving him a friendly smile. "And this is his wife Janice." I do the same with her. "And that's their son Derek." As if hearing it weren't enough now I had to see him standing right before my own eyes.He looks just as surprised to see me as I am to see him.We make eye contact for a split second then I notice a grin come across his face.I break the eye contact and look down for a moment.I look to my mom and smile then look back up to him.
"Derek this is-,"
"Oh you two know each other?"
I look to Derek with a blank expression but I keep my eyes focused on him.
"We go to school together,we're friends."
Friends?We are anything but friends!
Their family takes their seats and following them,a few more people come in.It seems that everybody is here now.Soon the waiters come to take down all of our orders.I order some pasta and I ask for cherry coke as my drink.As everyone waits for the food to arrive they all make small talk with each other while I remain seated not bothering to pay attention to any of them or their conversations.I feel someone's eyes on me,I look up only to find Derek staring at me.He notices that I have realized he has been watching me and he grins at me.He waves at me but I don't respond.I just stare at him,my eyes slowly begin to focus their attention on his lips.The second I stare directly his lips the image of me kissing Derek pops into mind.I immediately look down and try to ignore the thought.I still feel bothered so I get up and leave to go to the restroom.In there,I look at my reflection in the mirror.
Why the hell does he have to be here?Of all the people my mom worked with,he had to be the son of one of them?I don't think I can go back out there,I just can't stand to be in the same room as him and now I have to share a dinner table with him.I try to calm down and decide to not act bothered to the best of my ability.I walk out of the restroom but the second I do I feel a grab on my arm and suddenly I am pinned up against a wall.Right before my eyes is Derek smirking at me.
"Hey," He says in such a calm voice.
"What are you doing?"
"Can you do it without having to pin me up against a wall without my own free will." I say sarcastically.
"Just let go of me."
"As soon as you promise to stop acting so weird around me."
"And who says I'm acting weird?"
"Look I know you're not my biggest fan but can you forgive me?" I don't respond.I just remain looking at him with a blank expression on my face. "Look,I'm really sorry about what happened between us.But can you really blame me?I really like you,sorry for going the extra mile to get what I want."
"I'm not a prize you know."
"But you are.In my eyes,you'll always be number one." I then notice him bite his lower lip and he presses his body a bit closer to mine.I wonder if anyone can even see us?I guess not since their restrooms are pretty hidden but someone could come by any second now and see the two of us.The thought of it happening is just too embarrassing and I feel my cheeks begin to blush. "You're really cute when you blush.It only makes me want you more."
I then feel his body press even closer and I can see him slowly beginning to lean in.He's trying to kiss me again!I panic inside unsure of what to do or how to handle this situation.Without really thinking I immediately face my head down,not allowing him to plant his lips on mine.I can feel the pressing of his body on mine isn't as close anymore.He probably realized I wasn't letting him get away with stealing another kiss from me. "We should probably get back,they might be wondering where were at."
I remain with my head face down then I hear him say, "You're probably right." He gets off of me and I make my way back to the table.I take my seat and apparently our food has already arrived.
For the rest of the dinner I just eat my food and make no conversation with anyone.I don't even bother to look up,looking up would only risk me making eye contact with Derek.I eat my food until I get too full to eat another bite.My mom asks for a box so I can take home my leftovers.When the dinner finally ends everyone starts hugging each other goodbye and leaving one by one.My mom and I get out of our seats and say bye to a few people.Soon after,we all leave and I head back to the car with my mom.She starts the car and we drive off.
As we're driving I realize that we aren't going in the direction home.I look closely out my window then I look to my mom. "Umm mom where are we going?"
"Oh we're just going to Mark's house for a bit."
"The one with the boy your age." Crap.I knew I shouldn't have asked.
"Is everyone going to be there?"
"No,Mark invited us to go over since he saw that our kids were around the same age.You two can spend some time together while we just talk about work and stuff that wouldn't amuse you."
"But-," I immediately pause myself and say nothing.I can't tell my mom I despise Derek because she works with his dad.I'd also have to explain why I dislike him and I don't want to unravel that issue.
"Is something wrong?"
"No,I'm just a little tired."
"Sorry sweety,we shouldn't be there too long."
"Okay,whatever you say."
We continue our drive and eventually my mom parks the car in front of some house.I guess this is where they live.We get out and go to the front door.She rings the doorbell and we wait patiently for them to answer.When they do I see Mark and his wife,Janice, smiling at us.They welcome us in and make some small talk with my mom for a bit.Mark then calls down Derek.I hear footsteps and next thing I know he's in the same room with us.Derek sees me and smiles but I just remain with a blank expression.
"I must say (Your mom's name) you've got yourself one lovely daughter."
"Why thank you Mark,Derek is quite a handsome young man as well."
"Oh I'm nothing compared to your beautiful daughter Ms.(Your last name)."
I look to Derek and he smiles at me lightly then turns his attention back to my mom.What the hell?!Did he just call me beautiful and in front of his parents?Forget his parents he called me beautiful in front of my mom!
"Oh you're too sweet,say thank you (YN)."
I look to my mom then to Derek.I guess I don't really have a choice.I smile at him and say, "Thanks,"
He smiles and says, "No need to thank me for the truth." What the hell is his deal?I know he's a big flirt but why does he have to do this in front of our parents?!
"Derek why don't you give (YN) the grand tour of the house?" I look to Mark who is looking at Derek waiting for him to respond.
"Yeah sure I'll do it,would you like a tour (YN)?"
I look to Derek then his parents and then right back to him again. "Okay," This is just great.
My mom walks off with Mark and Janice talking then Derek and I are left standing in silence. "So how's about that tour now?" I look to him with a blank expression.I cross my arms over my chest and remain standing.He rolls his eyes then says, "Look I said I was sorry okay."
"And right after you did you tried to kiss me!Again!"
"Well sorry for liking you!"
"You don't even know what it means to like a person!"
"Oh and you do?"
"More than you."
"Whatever,none of this matters.Are we gonna stand here like idiots or are you going to let me show you my house?" I really don't want to be near him but there's not much of an option.I guess getting a tour is better than standing around in silence.
"Alright show me your house." I see a smile come across his face then he grabs my hand.I jerk it away but he takes it back and leads me up the stairs.He shows me the bathrooms and apparently they even have their own workout room.Derek tells me that his mom is really the only one who uses it.He then shows me his parents bedroom but we aren't allowed inside.I just get a glimpse of it from outside the door.He then leads me towards the end of the hall where a door is.He opens the door and the two of us both step in.I look around and it's pretty spacious.
"Is this your room?"
"It's nice,you have a lot of space in here."
"Thanks, I guess." I then hear the sound of the door close.I look to Derek who is leaning back against the door. "Well that's my house."
"Maybe you could show me yours sometime."
"Why do you hate me?"
"Because your a jerk who wrecked my friendship with Ryan."
"Okay well last time I checked you two were still friends.And you even went to that lame school dance together."
"And last time I checked you were at the lame school dance too."
"So you were looking for me?" He teases.
"No,I just happened to see you."
"Don't deny it."
"I'm not denying anything."
"Fine relax,learn to take a joke." He then walks over to his bed and takes a seat at the edge of it.He looks at me then scoots over.I don't move or say anything,I just remain standing. "You gonna sit or what?" He says annoyed.I roll my eyes and take a seat beside him on the bed.The two of us sit in silence. "Hey (YN) I really am sorry...about everything."
"It doesn't matter now."
"Do you think you can forgive me?"
"I don't know."
"Please," he says in a faint voice.I look over to him and see him making a puppy dog face.I allow a light smile to come across my face and a soft giggle escapes my lips.I see him smile as well. "You've got a nice smile,just wish I could see it more often."
"It's nothing special,really."
"To everybody else maybe,but to me its rare and precious."
"That's a bit much don't you think."
"No,your smile is something special and not one that you see on people often.I'm glad I was able to see it."
"No it's not."
"You look really pretty in that dress too.I wanted to tell you at dinner but I figured telling you alone is probably better."
"You're such a flirt."
"Maybe...and maybe I just want you so bad that I try so hard to get you."
"I think I'm gonna go with flirt." I smile.
"You're probably right but I only flirt with girls I like and I only kiss the ones I really want." I stare at him and he does the same.I then feel him stroke my cheek with his thumb and he gently slides his hand down to my chin.I feel him lift my head slightly then I see him slowly beginning to lean in.I see him beginning to close his eyes and I can sense his lips just inches away from mine.I close my eyes and I'm about to lean forward as well but the second my eyes are completely shut Ryan's sweet smiling face comes to mind.I immediately open my eyes again and see Derek is just about kiss me.
"I can't," I let out and he stops what he's doing.His eyes open again and he pulls back looking at me confused.
"I can't kiss you I just can't."
"Why not?You've done it before."
"But everything is different now.I just can't kiss you.It's not right.It wouldn't be or feel right."
"Why wouldn't it feel right?"
"Because what?You're not making any sense."
I'm so overwhelmed with emotions right now.I can't even control my own thoughts,so many things are running through my mind right now and I don't know how to react to any of this.
"I just can't kiss you alright."
"Tell me why the hell not?!"
"Because of Ryan okay!"
"That didn't stop you before."
"Well it's different now!"
I don't reply,instead I just ignore his question and look down.His constant questioning is really aggravating me and too much is going on in my mind right now!I can barley control my emotions because they're all so mixed.I am feeling guilty,angry,frustrated,and confused.I think Derek gets annoyed with with me not responding so he asks again, "Different how huh?Why is it different this time than from before?!"
"Because I like him alright!"