I zipped up the last suitcase and rolled it to the hallway where Mike would take it to the tour bus. I tied my hair up in a ponytail and walked out of my room and into the living room. I was exhausted as the night before, was the first concert and when I came back home, I spent the rest of the night playing video games with Blaze because he couldn’t sleep, as he was nervous for his music presentation. As if he had to get nervous…
“Good morning people.” I said as I stole the banana Ralph had in his hand.
“Give that back Esther.” Ralph said but it was too late. I winked at him and opened the fridge.
“At what time do we leave?” Ducky questioned.
“When Guile and Carl appear.” Gordon replied.
“Carl is joining us?” Rhode asked.
“Yep.” I replied drinking milk from its carton. “He mentioned that he was taking a semester off University to come with us.”
“I still don’t understand why you haven’t applied to any.” Bryan said, taking the milk out of my hands.
“Because, my beloved father won’t let me stay.” I replied. “He wants me near him, as he swears that if he isn’t near, I might burn the house, take over the world, and eat too much candy.”
Which could be possible, I mean, I could get a bunch of people do whatever I wanted with a simple tweet… *evil smile here*
“You would totally do that.” Carl said as he and his dad entered the kitchen of the Gunner Residence.
“Shut up will ya?” I said. “You would be my first prisoner, and I would send you down to the basement and listen to-“
“Enough Esther.” My father said grabbing the orange juice and chugging it down. “Are we all ready?”
Carlo shot me a winner look and I rolled my eyes at him. The adults started talking about the schedule we all had to follow in order to have a nice tour. They were going to settle rules so that we kids (Carl and I) didn’t get in trouble. Mike went with Ralph, and Bryan to make sure that everything was ready for the tour and we could leave and start going crazy.
“So.” My father said. “Ground rules.”
“Dad!” I whined. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” Gordon chuckled.
“Guile and Carl are having the upper left bunks.” My father said. “Rhode and Ducky, the lower left bunks.”
“Shotgun the upper upper!” Carl called gaining a roll of my eyes.
“Gordon and Blaze, when he joins, get the lower right bunks.” My father said. “Esther and I get the upper right bunks.”
“Shotgun upper upper!” I shouted imitating Carl.
“As you wish.” My father smiled.
“Shall we then?” Ducky questioned. “I would really like to tell my dear wife that we are on the bus.”
“We shall.” Rhode joked. “Let’s hit the road.”
I was thrown on my bunk reading a random book I found in the gas station, it had to do until we arrived to the city of destination. Which, turns out, I’m not allowed to know. I don’t even understand why not! I mean, what could I do, with simply knowing where we are headed? I was already inside the bus, I couldn’t say I didn’t want to go because I hated the place or whatever.
Man my father is weird.
“Enoch Gunner spoke about his daughter Esther, the Queen Surfer from all California State.” The television sounded. Lol, sounded. “I’m very proud of my daughter, she’s proven not only to myself, but to the world, that any girl can do what they wish, if they work hard enough for it.” My father’s voice sounded weird on television. “So Enoch, you wrote a song about your daughter right? Only about her.” The man who was interviewing asked. “Yes, I did.” My father replied. Did he? Was it a new song that I hand’t heard about? “The only problem is that she doesn’t know, and I’m pretty sure she will listen to this interview one day, and so I won’t say the name of it, not until I tell her.” My father explained.
Man my father is weird. Yes, I said it twice.
“DAD!” I shouted as I climbed down the bunk. “Enoch Gunner where are you?”
“He’s in the bathroom.” Carl replied, poking his head out.
“Then who’s watching television?” I questioned.
“Ralph I suppose.” He replied.
“Ralph is on the other bus with Bryan and Mike.” I retorted. “Where is everyone else though?”
“Esther.” Carl laughed. “It’s 2:30am, everyone is sleeping.”
“Oh.” I said, know understanding why everything was so quiet. “Did I wake you up?”
“No.” Carl smiled. “I was doing some work.”
“You’re taking online classes right.” I smirked.
“Yes.” He replied with a light laugh.
“Esther go to bed.” My father said appearing.
“Dude.” I said. “You wrote a song about me, that I don’t even know about?”
“So you heard.” My father sighed, running his hand through his dark brown hair. “Come here with me. We’re going to talk.”
“Am I in trouble?” I asked following my father. “I swear I haven’t done anything inappropriate or anything that could get me in trouble.”
“You’re not in trouble Esther.” My dad sighed. “For once in your life, stop worrying and follow me.”
“I’m following you.” I stated. “And worrying, is part of life, it was makes you go insane with your thoughts, because you are always thinking the worst, and so when the best comes along, you are happy, because you realise that all the worrying you had, was nothing but a false hope.”
My dad stared at me, and I could even sense Carl’s eyes burn behind my back. What was wrong with everyone? I was just stating what I thought. I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch, waiting for my father. He finally reacted and sat next to me, pulling me into a hug.
“Do you ever question what happened to your mother?” My dad asked. I looked at my father in shock, I had questioned that myself, but she walked out on us, no reason, no question.
“She walked away.” I replied. “You said it yourself. I was too young to remember.”
“Yes, she walked away.” My father agreed. “But do you know why?”
“No.” I replied. “I don’t want to know why.”
“Esther listen to me.” My father begged.
“If she left it was because she didn’t love me enough.” I said. “I’ve been fine all this years without worrying about why she left.”
“She didn’t like my life.” My father said. “She was perfectly fine before the band got more recognition.”
“So you are telling me that she walked out of my life, because she didn’t want to be the wife or whatever of a famous rockstar? That she couldn’t deal with all the drama, rumours, and other things that it brings? Was she even sane?” I exclaimed. “I swear that if I ever see her, I’m going to turn around and walk away from her, like she did from me.”
“Esther please.” My father said with teary eyes.
“Please what?” I asked changing my tone, to a softer one. “I’m not going to walk out on you. I just don’t want to talk about her anymore, or ever.”
“Esther-“ My father said and stopped. “She has asked to meet you.”
“When?” I asked.
“Next concert.” My father replied.
“I’m not meeting her.” I said. “Tell HER, that I don’t want to meet her. She had her chance and blew it away.”
I walked away from my father into my bunk. There was no way in hell I was going to meet my mother. She walked out of my life when I was three, and since that moment, I had to fend for myself, not really, but you get me. I got so used about not knowing shit about her, that the simple thought of her appearing, wasn’t the best.
I took out my laptop and opened my blog page, writing down to the world, my emotions, how much I hated when someone walked away and then expected for everything to be the same as before. Excuse me? But no. That’s not going to happen with me.
I heard my father walk back to his bunk, murmuring things about how fucked up everything was. I do understand him, I don’t even know if he wants to see her again. I don’t know if he stills loves her. Would he? Even after she walked out on us?
“You’re not allowed to leave the arena.” Ralph said to me and Carl. “You can get lost inside it.”
“Capich.” I smiled. “Bye.” I replied and walked back to the bus.
Carl nodded and he walked to the dressing rooms, he knew that I still wasn’t ready to talk. I think everyone knew that I wanted some time alone. I don’t think it’s fair. I mean, yeah, life isn’t fair, but this, this was beyond. Nothing could compare to the hatred I had towards her. She walked away because she couldn’t handle the fame, but, what about me? She left me to it. Also, how do the others do it? Each member of D5 is married, and except for Gordon and my father, they all have their wives. (Gordon got divorced after he found his wife screwing around with the geometry tutor of Blaze)
I changed from my sweatpants to some pair of shorts and walked out of the bus. I plugged my headphones on, and started walking back to the stage moving to the beat of the music when I caught the glimpse of some extremely black hair, and blue eyes, which were staring at me intensively. I stopped dead on tracks and turned around, and I saw her.
“You.” I whispered. The woman I had seen on photos was right in front of me. “You.”
“What the hell Esther?” Ducky asked as he saw me staring at the crowd behind the gates.
“She’s there.” I replied. “The fucker is there.”
“Who?” Ducky questioned staring at me.
“If you see her, tell her to go away.” I added and walked away.
“Esther!” Ducky shouted, but I ignored him.
I walked faster as I approached to the dressing rooms. I scanned the place and found where everyone was gathering. I knew that if the door was closed, it was for a reason, but at the moment I didn’t care. I threw the door opened and my father stared at me, tears stained in his cheeks.
“I saw her.” I said running to hug him.
“I did too.” He replied stroking my hair.
Wonderful huh? Can you figure out how much pain she put us through? I might not know if my father still loves her, but I do know, that he cried almost every night when she first left.