Fall (Luke Hemmings Fanfiction)

"You have a problem with falling, don't you?" "You have no idea."

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3. ♡♡♡

"The least you can do is try and make this somewhat fun." I argued. I tried to
keep my voice down, as we were in a library, but it was getting more and more
difficult with Luke around.
Luke had been tutoring me for a month now and I was honestly getting tired of
it. It was the same thing every time, just reviewing and teaching and trying to
learn new concepts and properties and on top of it all Luke still wasn't being
very friendly. Plus, we were now meeting with each other twice a week instead
of just Saturdays.
"This isn't supposed to be fun, it's math." Luke rolled his eyes. He tugged his
black beanie down farther so it covered his hair, hiding most of his face as well.
"You think math is fun, don't you?" I asked. I had always assumed that Luke
enjoyed math, him being so good at it and all. It may even be one of the few
things Luke actually likes.
"Of course, but that's just because I'm good at it. If I wasn't so smart I wouldn't
even be going to school right now." Luke shrugged. So the rumors were true. 
"You're such a nerd. You try to hide it with this whole bad boy attitude of yours,
but I see right through you." I said, glaring at him. It was true, Luke always tried
to hard to get everyone to think that he was so tough, when in reality all he
wanted to do was sit at home and do math problems.
"I am not a nerd. I enjoy math, I like spending my free time doing math. I'm
allowed to like math and not be a nerd." Luke said sternly, sounding offended at
me calling him a nerd.
"Well, you don't have to focus only on math. Do you ever really have fun?" I
sighed, dropping my pencil down on the table, a signal to Luke that I was done
working for the time being. 
I'd begun to notice that at least once during every one of our tutoring sessions
we seemed to get off topic and have a seemingly normal conversation for at
least a few minutes. It was nice, because in those few minutes I was always
able to see Luke as much more than just my tutor, more like a friend.
"I don't want to have fun. I'm perfectly happy staying home and doing math."
Luke squinted his eyes at me, like he couldn't really tell if I was being serious by
asking that. 
"You don't seem happy." I stated. Around other people I would using take it into

better consideration what I say, but with Luke I felt that I didn't need to. He
obviously didn't do that when speaking to me.
I felt that Luke would be a lot more well liked around our school if he actually
acted like a normal teenage boy for once. Maybe if he attempted to make
friends or even just try to talk to some of his classmates he wouldn't come off as
so miserable. From what I'd learned about him so far, Luke was a pretty decent
guy. I'm sure that people would be open to being friends with him if he just put in
some effort. That boy was practically a brick wall.
"I have trouble expressing my emotions. My mom says I should go to a therapist
and start taking these ridiculous pills, but I think that's bullshit." Luke rolled his
eyes, obviously thinking about his mother. He had never spoken about his mom
or any other members of his family before, and up until now I had always
suspected that Luke lived all alone. I only knew about his older brother through
Eric, and he had only mentioned him a few times. "I don't have some strange
mental illness, I don't like anything and that's that."
"Your mom?" I asked, curious to know why Luke had that reaction when talking
about her.
"Yes, my mom. What about her?" He snapped. He smoothed down the front of
the blue button up shirt he was wearing, trying to seem more focused on it than
he actually was. It was always odd to me that Luke didn't dress in leather
jackets and combat boots like one would suspect he'd wear. At first glance,
Luke actually looked very preppy, not the type of boy to walk around hating the
world.
"You've just never mentioned her before. I was just curious." I shrugged. I didn't
want the conversation to end, as I knew that as soon as it did Luke and I would
go back to normal, acting like we still disliked each other.
"I don't mention her because I hardly ever see her. She's a real estate agent so
she's gone almost all day, every day. I don't really mind, she isn't always the
most plesant person to be around." Luke explained, still staring at me with a
totally emotionless
 

expression on his face. I could tell why his mom was worried about him. "We
should really get back to work now." 
"How does your dad feel about it? I mean, about your mom wanting you to see
a therapist and all that." I ignored Luke's request to get back to work and asked
another question.
"He doesn't know." Luke shrugged.
"Maybe your mom thinks you're depressed, she's probably worried about you.
You should talk to her before things get too serious." I warned him.
"I'm not depressed." Luke said, with an edge in his voice.
"I honestly wouldn't be surprised if someone thought you were." I paused. "You
kind of show some symptoms of being depressed. Lack of emtion, not putting
effort into things, being-"
"Since when are you the depression expert?" Luke snapped, cutting me off.
"I'm not trying to say I'm an expert, it's common sense." I tried to explain.
"I don't need your fucking common sense. I don't need you to try and help me.
There's nothing wrong with me." He brought his voice down to a whisper, which
honestly scared me more than him yelling at me did.
"I wasn't trying to help you." I whispered back.
"Good." Luke leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. 
"Your dad," I repeated, "How does he feel about it?"
"I don't know, I don't live with my dad." Luke said, again biting down on the
inside of his cheek. He did that when he wanted to say more, but knew that he
shouldn't. I'd at least figured that out by now.
"Oh, really? Where does he live? My dad lives in Boston." I said, relieved to find
something that Luke and I had in common.
My father moved there a couple years ago, after my mom and him got a
divorce. And because he needed to move there in the first place, for his job. I
think that's one of the reasons why the split, my mom didn't want to leave New
York. She loves the city. It was kind of weird at first, but I got used to it. Eric andI go there for Christmas every year, and it really isn't that bad. 

We don't keep in very close contact, though. I was never very close to my dad, neither was Eric.
"I didn't ask." Luke cut me off before I could say anything else. I couldn't help it, I
was actually excited about the fact that Luke and I had something in common,
and that we had seemed to stray away from the tense conversation we were
having only moments before.
"Right, sorry." I said, trying not to blush from embarrassment. It wasn't often that
I went on tangents like that, but when I did - and when I was cut off - I always
ended up feeling silly for letting myself speak with no control like that. 
Luke and I stayed quiet for a few minutes after that, both of us staring down at
the multitude of math problems written in our notebooks. The sudden silence
between us was almost unbearable. I had actually enjoyed talking with Luke, at
least more than I enjoyed doing math. I was about to repeat my question for
Luke just in case he forgot I'd asked, but before I could he spoke again.
"To answer your question, I don't exactly know where my dad is." He said,
tapping his pencil against the table. "He kind of..walked out, I guess, when I
was little. My brother was nine, I think. It's kinda cool now, because now that my
brothers away at college I get the whole house to myself most of the time."
"Oh, sorry." I wasn't sure what to say. Luke didn't seem upset about it, though
like we'd discussed earlier, he never really did show any emotions. I was still
hesitant with what I said. I didn't want to say the wrong thing, in fear that I might
upset Luke.
"Don't be. From what I remembered, he was a real asshole." He shrugged, still
not changing his facial expression at all. 
"So, kind of like you." I felt the words coming out of my mouth before I could
even stop to think about them.
Then Luke did something that really surprised me: He laughed. It was a loud
laugh, and if I'm being completely honest here, it was a beautiful laugh. A clear
laugh that sent sound echoing all throughout the small corner of the library we
were sitting in. It took me completely by surprise, making me jump back in my
chair a little. I had been going to school with Luke for the past three years and I
had not once heard him laugh.
"See, I just laughed. I'm not depressed." Luke looked at
 

me matter a factly. The way that he had to prove me wrong at everything greatly
annoyed me. I just wish he'd leave it be for once. 
"Just because someone can laugh doesn't mean they're not depressed." I said
slowly, still looking at Luke a strange way. I had never thought I'd see the day
where he actually laughed. 
"Why do you look so scared?" Luke asked after he'd calmed down. He looked
at me like nothing had even happened, confused at why I looked so surprised.
"You laughed." I stammered. "I thought you didn't show emotions." 
"Jesus, Stel. I said I had trouble showing my emotions, I didn't say I was a
robot." I didn't even bother trying to tell him not to call me Stel anymore, it was
no use. "I do know how to laugh, I'm not an idiot."
"At lunch the other day you said you didn't laugh." I said, composing myself from
being so startled a few seconds ago.
"Nothing really ever makes me laugh." Luke shrugged, then repeated. "We
should really get back to work." 
"But I just made you laugh." I ignored him again, I was in no mood to do math
right now. 
"Congratulations, do you want a cookie? I'll go buy you one after you finish this
worksheet." Luke said, shoving my homework towards me.
"You are an asshole." I said, not even entirely sure if I was being serious or not.
"Yeah, I know. Thanks." Luke huffed, and just as quickly as he became what
seemed like a normal teenage boy he was back to being himself again. 
After that, I went to work on my homework. To my surprise, I was actually able to
understand most of it. Luke only need to help me with two problems, both of
which involved using those properties that I still couldn't memorize. Of course
Luke had them memorized, because that's apparently what he did in his free
time.
"Are you really going to buy me a cookie if I finish all of this?" I asked, once I
only had one problem left.
"No." Luke scoffed, as if him spending actual money on me was totally out of the question.

way and take me home just so I don't have to take the subway alone?" I raised
an eyebrow at him, his actions not seeming very Luke-like.
"I was just offering." He shrugged. "Besides, if you get murdered on the subway
I don't think your mom is going to pay me for tutoring you." 
I waited a few seconds before saying anything else, watching the people walk
by the two of us as we stood practically in the middle of the sidewalk. As weird
as it may seem, I wasn't sure if I liked Luke being kind to me. It seemed so odd,
having him act like a friend towards me. Luke wasn't meant to be my friend, he
wasn't meant to be anyone's friend. 
Suddenly, a huge gust of wind blew, causing me tip over slightly and Luke to
pull his beanie down even more to cover his ears.
"I don't need to you come with. I can take care of myself." I nodded at Luke, then
turned around and starting making my way to the nearest subway station
without even saying goodbye.
I'd gotten halfway down the stairs leading to the subway when I realized that I
could hear my name being called out through the mass of people. I spun
around, not caring that I was causing an inconvenience for all the people behind
me.
"You know, Stel, I forgot. I actually have to go this way anyway." Luke appeared
in front of me, a slight smile set on his lips.
"Why?" I asked. Luke wasn't a very busy person, it was hard to believe that he
would have somewhere else to go on a Tuesday night other than just his house.
"None of your business." Luke said, his smile fading almost too quickly, like it
was never there in the first place.
"Fine." I shrugged and turned around, leading the way to the subway.
"It's just weird." This time it was Luke trying to keep up behind me.
"What's weird?" I asked.
"You taking the subway alone." Luke said slowly, choosing his words carefully.
"I've done it before." I shrugged, continuing to walk fast so we could make it
onto the next train. 
"That doesn't mean you should." Luke caught up to me, now walking at the
same pace as me. He had to sidestep to get out of the way of two boys goofing
off right in the middle of our path.
"Wait. Are you trying to say that you care about me?" I laughed.
"No, not at all." Luke shook his head. 
"Sure, whatever you say." I said, patting him on the back.
"Stel, the last thing I would ever do is care about you." Luke stopped walking.
We were now standing behind a large group of poeple waiting to board the
subway train. I was still confused as to why Luke decided to take the subway
with me when his house was in the opposite direction. He was just wasting
more time for himself.
"Fair enough." I said again, not knowing why I'd even think about Luke caring
about me.
~
Once we'd arrived back at my apartment, Luke insisted that he walk me
upstairs, even though I almost begged him not to. If we had been deep in
conversation then maybe I could see why he'd want to continue walking with
me, but we were doing the exact opposite. We walked down the hall in
complete silence, where we got into the elevator and again, stayed completely
silent.
Thankfully, when the elevator doors opened up to let us out Michael and Ashton
were standing right in front of them, like they'd been waiting for us.
"Stella!" Ashton greeted me, with his arms wide open. I hesitantly walked
towards him, where he pulled me into a tight hug.
"What are you guys doing?" I asked, pulling myself away from Ashton after a
few seconds. I hoped that I wasn't blushing too much, just touching Ashton gave
me a tingling feeling in my stomach. 
"We were just gonna go get something to eat. We were waiting for you, but you
were taking too long." Michael explained. He stuck his tongue out at me.
"Sorry, we got hung up at the library." I pointed to Luke, who was standing
quietly behind me.
"Oh yeah, how's the tutoring going?" Ashton asked. He smiled and played with
the zipper of his sweatshirt as he spoke.
"Good, I guess. I think I'm starting to understand everything." I nodded, telling
the truth. Luke may not be a very good friend but he was a good tutor.
"That's good! Luke's a good teacher?" Ashton questioned, nodding over to
Luke. 
"Yeah-" 
"Stel's
 a good student." Luke spoke up, like he needed to remind everyone he was still
here.
"I figured she was." Ashton laughed, biting down on his bottom lip. The way he
looked at me with his light green eyes sent shivers up my spine.
"Okay, I'm really hungry. Are you coming with us, Stella?" Michael asked,
getting anxious.
"Sure." I shrugged. I was hungry too, and maybe now I could get Michael to buy
me a cookie.
"Do you want to join us, Luke?" Ashton asked Luke, who was still silently
leaning up against the wall of the hallway, picking at his fingernails like he didn't
have a care in the word.
"No. I was just taking Stel home." Luke finally looked up at us. I was glad that he
wasn't coming, everything was so awkward when it wasn't just me and Luke. It
seemed like I could only really talk to him when we were totally alone.
"Oh. Well that's nice." Ashton chuckled. "Alright, let's get going." 
The four of us walked back into the elevator and closed the doors behind us,
where Michael and Ashton immediately became engrossed in conversation.
Luke took this opportunity to strike up our own conversation. "Just looking at
you and Ashton makes me sick." He whispered.
"What does that mean?" I whispered back. 
"It's gross." Luke said, and he pulled a weird face. 
"We don't even do anything!" I stifled a laugh.
"Whatever. It's still gross." He shrugged.
When we reached the bottom floor, Ashton, Michael and I began to walk one
way while Luke walked the other way without even saying goodbye to us.
"Luke's a weird guy." Ashton noted as we walked down the street to a popular
Chinese restaurant that we always went to.
"Tell me about it." I rolled my eyes. I couldn't seem to figure Luke out, one second he seemed like he might possibly be my friend and the next it was like
he didn't even want to be associated with me.
"You guys would make a cute couple." Michael laughed, and Ashton agreed.
"I thought that too!" He laughed along with Michael.
I almost choked on my own air. The worst possible thing you can hear from the
boy you like is that he thinks you'd look cute with someone you hate. I stopped
walking, and so did Ashton and Michael.
"We would not." I said sternly.
"Suit yourself." Michael shrugged. His pink hair glowed in the reflection of the
street lights. Ashton didn't say anything, he just continued giggling.
I started walking again, this time ahead of Michael and Ashton instead of along
side them.
"I'm telling you, one of them is going to develop feelings for the other before it's
even December." I could hear Michael mutter to Ashton behind me. 
Part of me knew that what he said was true. It was almost inevitable. If I kept
hanging out with Luke as much as I already did there was bound to be
something between us. I just hoped that I wasn't going to be the one developing
any feelings.


"Fair enough." I shrugged, already plotting a way to get Michael to get me a
cookie when I got back home.
"I think we should get going now." Luke said, glancing out the window to the
now dark streets below.
"Why? Do you have to work or something?" I asked. I did want to leave, I was
too tired of math. But I still wondered why Luke always seemed like he was in
such a hurry to get places.
"No, but it's getting late and I'm hungry." Luke said as he began to pack up his
stuff. He took his jacket off the back of his chair and threw it over his broad
shoulders. He adjusted his beanie once again, this time pulling a few strands of
hair out and leaving them to lay flat on his forehead.
"What's the point of eating if you aren't going to eat meat?" I laughed quietly,
still not over the fact that Luke didn't like meat.
"There are other things that I can eat that don't contain meat. Damn, I know
you're Italian, but not everything revolves around a piece of chicken."
"Still. I don't understand how you don't like it." I glanced at Luke while I put my
own jacket on. It was only the end of October and temperatures here in New
York had already dropped to the mid-40s.
"Let's just get this straight: I don't like anything." Luke rolled his eyes and turned
around on his heal, leading us both out of the library. 
"Except math." I followed after Luke, who was walking almost too fast for me to
keep up.
"Except math." Luke repeated.
We made our way out of the library and on to the busy sidewalk, where Luke
then stopped walking and leaned up against the wall of the building, shoving his
hands in the pockets of his jeans.
"Are you taking the subway home?" He asked, blowing out into the air so you
could see his breath.
"Yeah, are you?" Luke and I had taken the subway to the library straight from
school that day. I usually took the subway everywhere, unless my mom was
home and could drive me somewhere with her car. I didn't mind, as long as it
wasn't too late and night I was perfectly fine taking it by myself.
"No, my house is just a couple blocks that way." Luke pointed off to his left. My
apartment was too far away to just walk, especially in this weather. "I mean, I
could. If you want me to." 
"You're going to go out of your
 

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