Change Happens


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5. Escapism

'There's no way out.'

Kaicie sank to the floor, her legs folding beneath her as she realised that her worst fears were becoming reality. She buried her head in her hands, tears seeping through the gaps between her fingers.

Eliza walked over to the far wall, her face a mirror of thoughtlessness. She looked sad, but not hopeless like Kaicie seemed to be.

Louis lent against one of the stone walls that made up the cottage which looked ready to crumble if the smallest amount of pressure was applied. Indigo rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes as if to shut out the horror of reality.

'There's no way out.' I repeated. I felt trapped, enclosed like an orang-utan at the zoo. Terror crept over me, reminding me of a similar situation a few years back....

 

Monday 18th August 2001

It's official. Mum took me to the hospital today. It's been confirmed and I hate her for it. I can't believe it. The doctor said I was mentally unstable; I was suffering with depression, anxiety and had many tendencies of an anorexic. The cheek of it! Who on earth did that doctor think he was?

The feelings I have suffered - confusion, being lost, unsure - signify I am different and need help. It feels like I am falling and there is no way for me to escape. No one understands. There must be something I can do to make people realise how I actually feel, deep within my soul.

You can look at me however you want but you'll never see the true me, the real me unless you delve deeper. Then you will be surprised and can see I am not really mentally unstable. It's just my imagination. If I gave them a book to read it might make sense to them. Perhaps you will understand better too.

 

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