Bad Boy

My eyes are closed but the barrel of the gun is nested on the back of my head. My heart is racing, pouncing against my chest. It was beating so loudly I was surprised he couldn't hear it. I hadn't even got to lay my eyes on him, the man that would consume my fait. He has my life in his hands, and he loved every second of it. He wanted me scared, but I was not going to cower, I couldn't let him have that satisfaction. My eyes stayed close, but I knew I had to force them open. If I was going to die, he would have to look into my eyes as I did. He had to feel the pain that I would. I turned around, and opened my eyes. My voice had left, and there he was starring right back at me.

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19. Say Something

Even thought everything that had just happened to me just ended, the Wedding plans were still on. I had already picked out the dress that I was to wear down the isle.

I was finally allowed to go home, my home with Brock. It was Sunday, but he wasn't home, something about that made me curious.

I had just gotten out of the shower, I didn't have time to put a towel of before I noticed Brock standing in the bathroom with me.

"I just want to see what they did to you" Brock said.

I stood there, I wanted to grab a towel so badly, but I couldn't. I was frozen, there was something in Brocks eyes that made chills run down my spine.

He first looked at my leg, "Was that from the day at the bank?" He asked.

I couldn't speak I only nodded, as Brock felt over top of the scar with his fingers. It was healed over now, but still very sensitive.

He then saw the burn marks all over my stomach, "What are these from?" He asked looking up at me.

He looked at me as if he was the one who had been burned. The pain in his eyes was almost torture for me to see. He felt over every single one of the scars, and even the ones on my back.

"I don't know what they were from, I only know that they are severely bad burns" I said. I turned my head the other way, I couldn't bare to look at him. Then he was standing, he was rubbing his thumb over the fresh cut on my forhead. "What's this one from?"

"I spoke when I shouldn't of.. it was from a little blade" I said.

I finally had the courage to grab a towel, and wrapped it around myself. "Brock I don't want you to see me like this." I whispered only loud enough for him to hear.

"I need to" He said.

"No, don't do this to your self" I said.

"I let them hurt you, I couldn't protect you.. I-" He tried to continue, but I could let him. He dropped to his knees, and pressed his for head against my stomach.

"I love you so much.. Please don't even leave me.. those past few weeks without you killed me inside... I barely slept.. and the worst part was I didn't even know if you were ever going to come back. I couldn't love the rest of my life without you.. I could barely live a couple weeks without you.." He said.

He wasn't holding anything  back anymore, he was full on crying. His throat choked over every word that came out of his mouth.

"I love you" I whispered. I knew I was lying to him.. I cared about him so much, but I didn't love him.

I ran my hand through his hair. He picked me up, and walked me over to our bed. We had spent so many Sundays there, just being with each other. Not worrying about anyone, or anything that was happening. We just laid there with each other, and enjoyed the moment.

He laid beside me flat on his back, and I curled up to his side. Laying so that our legs were entwined together, and so that my head laid on his chest. His right arm behind me holding me close into his body.

I took a look up at him, and his eyes were closed. He was smiling, and I was just happy that he could manage that right now.

"Don't ever leave me again" He said, and then kissed the top of my head. I started to cry again. I missed him, but I loved Niall. I wanted Niall, I needed him, I craved him. I flashbacked to all of the nights I spent with him, not wanting him to let me go for even a second.. I could of lived the rest of my life in Niall's arms. I wanted to live the rest of my life in Niall's arms, who was I kidding.

 

A month had gone by, it almost seemed like nothing. I was back into my normal life routine. I did the same as I would of before everything that happened, but the feelings were not the same. I felt like an empty shell. I wasn't doing anything for me anymore, I was doing it for everyone around me.

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