Don't Get Too Close // Liam Payne AU

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
~Demons by Imagine Dragons

~Cover by @Direction_infection5

© Copyright 2014. All rights reserved. This material may not be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the express prior written permission of the copyright holder. For permission, contact Smexy_Payne_Train69 on Wattpad.com

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2. The First Day

~Dont Get Too Close~ The First Day

**First day of school outfit to the side**

Today is going to be a long day. I can already feel it deep in my stomach. I could feel the nerves building up as I stared out the car window. I took a deep breath and opened the car door, stepping out onto the sidewalk.

“Have a good day sweetheart.” my mom said, smiling sweetly at me.

I gave her a small smile and shrugged, “I’ll try.”

My mom cocked her head and raised an eyebrow at me, “You’ll be fine. I have to go though. I’ll text you when I’m heading over here okay?” she asked and I nodded in agreement. “Love you! Have fun!” she said, blowing me a kiss.

I nodded, rolling my eyes and shut the door. I watched as she drove away, wishing she would come back and bring me home. I didn’t want to go. Lets just say, it’s because I don’t adapt to change well, and this was a very big change. I mean, college. That’s like the next big chapter in my life. How hard could it be though? I’ve asked people, and they said college wasn’t bad at all. They said it was actually fun. I think I’m going to be fine today, or at least I hope.

The little voice in my head piped in, ‘You’re going to fuck something up. You always do.’ the voice snickered.

I rolled my eyes, ‘No I won't!’ I yelled back at the voice.

I shook the thought away. I was just talking to myself… I’m still talking to myself… I should be placed in a mental hospital.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed all the thoughts away and started to walk up the sidewalk. As I walked, I got a some approving nods from a handful of guys. It was probably the outfit I was wearing today. I knew I shouldn’t of worn this outfit, damn it. Any normal girl would enjoy the nods and stares that I was getting. They would feel flattered, but not me. It just makes me feel really uncomfortable. Again, lets just say, it’s because I have some issues that are hard to resolve right at the moment. I try to hide behind my hair and continue to walk.

I pulled out my phone to check the time. It was quarter to noon, so I had plenty of time to get to my first class. Finding my class wasn’t going to be that hard since I had taken a tour of the campus already. It was just beyond the library which was just ahead of me and a huge mass of people. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

Great.

I took hold of my back pack straps and pushed myself past the very large group of people. When I finally found my classroom, I walked in noticing some other people were already in there. They all stared at me as I sat down at a desk in the first row against the wall. These people really need to learn some manners. Didn’t they know it was rude to stare. I rolled my eyes and took out my phone, checking it for any new text messages.

None.

I put my phone down on my desk and took out a notebook and a pen. I listened to the silence fall over the room. It was so quiet in the room; it was almost like I was the only person in here. My classmates didn’t say one word to each other. The occasional sound was from a vibrating phone on a desk. To distract myself from the ear piercing silence, I decided to scrutinize my new classroom.

 The room had no personality what so ever. It was probably the most boring room I had ever seen. I assumed the walls were white at one point, but through countless years and many bored students with pens and pencils, the walls became dingy and dirty looking. The floor was a dull blue carpet that was just as dingy as the walls. The opposite side of the room was lined with windows that didn't have much of a view. All that I could see was the roof of another building. At the front of the classroom, there was a very clean blackboard and a larger desk that was obviously for the teacher, who wasn't there yet. On the desk was a computer and a projector. It wasn't the best of rooms, but I only had to be here twice a week for half a year so it wasn't that bad.

 I was startled out of my reverie by the vibration of my phone. It was a lot louder on a hard surface than I expected. I picked it up to see that I had a new text from my mom.

To: Me

From: Mom

I know I’ve said this already, but have a great first day! I know you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about all the guys. Just focus on your classes. Love you!

I shook my head at my phone and frowned. I wasn’t thinking about it until it was brought up.

Ugh! Thanks mom…

I replied back and slipped my phone into my pocket this time. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall.

I heard someone walk into the room. I opened my eyes to see this boy. He had short, messy brown hair and dark brown, chocolate eyes. He wore a black hoodie with the hood up over his head. He had headphones in his ears, playing music loudly. He also wore lightly washed blue jeans and a pair of white sneakers. He was very intriguing to me. I looked more closely at his face, and noticed that he had a scar over his left cheekbone.

I wonder how he got that. I furrowed my eyebrows in concentration, not even realizing it. I watched him for a moment as he looked around the room at everyone. He scanned each of their faces. His eyes finally landed on me, making his blank expression turn more grim. I felt something weird in the pit of my stomach, like a spark or butterflies when he looked at me. It felt different, yet exciting.

I quickly took my eyes off him and focused on something else, like my knotted hands on my desk. He walked down my aisle of desks. I hope for the love of God that he doesn’t sit behind me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it. The boy walked past me and sat down in the desk right behind me.

Really?

Are you kidding me? I just have to keep calm. That’s all I have to do. It shouldn’t be that difficult. I tried to remain calm, but found it really hard to do so.

I can’t help the way I react around guys. I always get really nervous around them and I cant help it. It’s just a natural defense mechanism for me. I felt as my heart quickly started to speed up, pounding hard against my chest. My hands started to become shaky and clammy as I grew more and more nervous. My breathing grew shallow and rapid as if I had just run a marathon. I just wanted to leave the room and never come back.

I’m acting ridiculous! I need to calm down. I took some deep breaths and eventually calmed myself down.

“Good morning class,” my teacher said as he walked into the room. The quietness still took over the classroom. He put his things down on his desk and turned on the computer and the projector. I examined him for a moment. He‘s young and attractive. “Okay, so this is English Comp I and I am Professor Kevin Matthews. You may call me Professor Matthews  or Mr. Matthews. It doesn‘t matter which one you call me, but I do prefer if you stick with one of those two, ” he paused momentarily to sign into the computer and pull up the attendance list. “Now let me take a quick attendance.” he said.

As he ran down the list, I waited for my name and also for the name of the boy sitting behind me.

“Julina Nelson,” Mr. Matthews called.

“Here,” I called, raising my hand. He paused for a moment to mark me here, and continued down the list.

“Umm, Liam Payne.” he called.

“Here,” the boy behind me called. So his name is Liam and he’s British? I suddenly find him more attractive. I have a weakness for accents as you can probably tell. I don’t think his name really suits him though. Maybe it’s just me. Mr. Matthews finished the attendance list and pulled out a stack of papers and passed them out to each of us.

“Okay guys. First things first, we’re going to go over the course outline and syllabus.”

~~~

After we went over the course outline and syllabus, Mr. Matthews had us play a game.

“Alright guys, this is what I want you to do. For the last like five minutes or so of class, I want you to turn to the person behind you and get to know them a little better. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a new friend,” he said smiling.

My eyes widened in surprise. I really didn’t want to. It was bad enough he was sitting behind me, now I have to talk to him? I rolled my eyes and sighed, turning around slowly to face him.

I gave him a small smile, “Hi,” I said softly, not taking my eyes off him. I had to admit, he was really cute. He has the most beautiful eyes. They were a perfect shade of dark brown that made me want to melt. I waited a moment, but he didn’t say anything to me. He wouldn’t even look at me. He was looking up at the front of the room, as if I wasn’t even there. “I’m Julina,” I continued, but he still didn’t say anything to me. His eyes shifted down to stare at his hands in his lap. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. “You’re Liam right?” I asked, begging  him to say something. He slowly picked his head up to look at me. When he looked up at me, I felt those butterflies again. I really liked this feeling. It was a lot better than being nervous.

He sighed, “Yeah,” he said, with an irritated tone.

Someone’s moody. Why is he so moody? My eyes scanned his face for an answer, but found nothing. My eyes found the scar on his cheek, and I furrowed my brow, causing a concerned look to wash over my face.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he muttered loud enough for just us to hear.

“Like what?” I asked, confused again. How was I supposed to get to know Liam if I couldn’t have a normal conversation? This is going to be impossible.

“Like you’re so worried about me, you don’t care about me. You’re just like the rest of them.” he said pointing his chin in the direction of the others in the classroom. I knew that exact feeling. I understood that Liam was obviously guarded and wasn’t about to let some girl he had just met behind his wall.

“How do you know that? You don’t even know me or what I’m like. For all we know, we could end up being really good friends who stick with each other through thick and thin.” I said. He sighed heavily and looked back up at me.

“No one ever stays. Besides, I’ve been through this enough to know how people are,” he said coldly and looked back down at his hands in his lap.

“I-I’m sorry.” I said. I was unaware of the concerned expression crossing my face again.

“Thanks, but I don’t need your pity, nor do I want it,” he said. He glanced back up and sighed heavily. “You’re doing it again.”

“What?”

“Your facial expression? God, can’t you put on a blank expression for once?” he spat. I was growing tired of his rudeness.

“Look, I don’t know what I said or did to you, but I’m sorry for it.” I said with hostility clear in my voice.

He snickered, “You don’t mean that.” he spat.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “I do mean that.”

He stared at me; his face was as cold as stone, “Leave me alone.”

“I kind of can’t. I was told to talk to you.” I said. The hostility in my voice died down, leaving me a little more calm.

“Talk to someone else, then. I don’t want to talk to you,” he said, glaring at me. I decided to just stare at him. I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at him. I did this for a good minute, then he sighed loudly. He was definitely getting pissed off.

“Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?” I asked, earning a glare from Liam.

“You’re a real pain in the ass, you know that?”

“It takes one to know one,” I said, smiling at him. He rolled his eyes and glared back at me. We both had a glaring contest for a moment. “Why are you such a sour puss?” I asked, breaking the silence between us.

“Why are you so happy and preppy?” he retorted.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t want to spend my life being miserable. I’d rather try to be happy unlike some people I know.”

“You don’t know me.” he spat.

“You’re right. I don’t know you, nor do I want to know you.” I said. I could tell that somewhere deep down inside, that hurt Liam, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. Besides, he deserved it for being rude.

“Thanks for admitting that. Now leave me alone.” he growled.

I shook me head, “Nope, not until you ask me nicely.” I stated.

He rolled his eyes and looked back towards the front of the room, “Please leave me alone.” he said calmly. I nodded and turned back around to face forward.

“Alright guys. Class is over. We’ll start notes next time we meet so bring a notebook and something to write with,” Mr. Matthews announced. I picked up my things off my desk and placed them back in my bag. Before I knew it, Liam was gone. When I walked out into the hallway, he was nowhere in sight.

“Payne!” an unfamiliar voice screeched loudly down the hallway. I looked in the direction of the unfamiliar voice and spotted Liam and another boy about his age.

“Leave me alone, Louis!” Liam yelled and sprinted away from the other boy. The boy laughed maliciously as he chased after Liam.

“Liam!” I whispered to myself.  I followed the boys, pushing myself through the large crowd of people to the end of the hallway. When I got to the end of the hallway, I gaped at what was happening to Liam. The boy was holding Liam against the wall and hitting him several times in the abdomen.

“Hey! Leave him alone!” I yelled as I ran up to the boy. I tried to take his hands off Liam, but he was a lot stronger than I was. The boy was unfazed by my attempt to get him off Liam.

“You got your girlfriend protecting you now, Liam? Huh… You’re so weak.” the boy laughed.

“Julina get out of here.” Liam hissed as he struggled to get out of Louis grip. The boy punched him one more time in the abdomen, and Liam fell to the floor. He was holding his stomach, gasping for air. The boy turned to me and shoved me hard. I lost my balance and fell to the floor.

“Go back to the sand box little girl. You might get hurt here,” he spat and turned his attention back to Liam, who was now up on his feet.

“Don’t you ever touch her!” Liam yelled and body slammed the boy into the wall. The boy howled out in pain as Liam started to punch him. I watched as the boys fought. I couldn’t bring myself to stand up. I was in complete shock.

“Hey! Hey, boys stop!” Mr. Matthews yelled. He ran over to Liam and pulled him off the other boy. “What is going on here?” Mr. Matthews demanded.

“He was beating Liam up so I tried to help Liam, but he shoved me. Liam started hitting him for shoving me.” I said, pulling myself up off the ground.

“Is this true Liam?” Mr. Matthews said looking at him questioningly. Liam looked from me to Mr. Matthews.

“Yeah,” he sighed.

“Alright, both of you come with me now!” Mr. Matthews ordered and both of them followed him. There was nothing I could do now right? I just sighed and left the building and ran to my next class.

I thought about Liam all throughout my Child Development class. I hoped that Liam wouldn’t get in trouble. I would feel terrible if he did because he was only trying to protect me from the other boy. I felt bad for Liam. I understood why he was so moody now. He knew what was coming after that class. I wanted to help him so badly, but dismissed the thought. He is too guarded. He would never let me help him. Not too long ago, we sat in English and glared at each other.  I tried to listen to my teacher talk about another course outline and syllabus, but I kept getting distracted by the thought of Liam. Something else must have happened to make him so guarded right?

“Are you confused about something Julina?” my teacher asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

“W-what?” I asked really confused now.

“You looked confused. Do you have a question?”

“Oh…uh-no…I’m okay.” I said shaking my head. My teacher just nodded and continued talking about some important events coming up soon, but I didn’t catch them. I just continued to get distracted by Liam.

After my Child Development class was over, I was free to do what I wanted because I had no more classes. I felt a vibration in my pocket from my phone. I took it out to see that I had a new text from ‘Bestie’.

To: Me

From: Bestie

Hey!! Where r u??

I replied back to the text and sat down on a bench in the sun. I really enjoyed the warmth of the sun. I watched as people walked by, heading into different buildings or walking over to their friends as they sat on the grass. I watched a couple walk by, holding hands. They laughed as they walked. He looked over her, admiring her as if nothing else in the world mattered to him. As long as she was there, he would be happy. He kissed her cheek and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her close to him. This was something that I wanted so badly. Someone to look at me like that, and to hold and kiss me like that. The sad part is, I know I will probably never have that.

My phone vibrated again. It was another text from ‘Bestie’.

To: Me

From: Bestie

Come to the Library!!!

I replied back and headed towards the library.

I spotted my best friend Niall sitting at one of the tables in the center of the library. His back was facing towards me so I decided to sneak up on him and surprise him. I walked right up behind him and gently squeezed his sides. He squealed in surprise and turned around to look at me.

“Jeez Julina!” he sighed and held his hand over his chest. “You scared me!”

“That was the point.” I said and smiled at him. I pulled up a chair and sat down next to him.

He laughed and ran his hand through his hair, “You know, I really hate when you do that.”

“You know, if you really hated it, you wouldn’t laugh when I do it.” I retorted.

“I only laugh because you scared the shit out of me. You know how I laugh at the worst moments possible.” he said, laughing lightly.

“Yeah I know.” I laughed. We got talking about everything that happened earlier in the day. I didn’t want to mention anything about Liam though so I left all of that out.

“Has anyone bothered you today?” Niall asked. I knew at some point during the conversation he was going to ask that. He always did.

“Define bothered.” I said and Niall gave me that ‘really?’ look.

“Julina… you know what I’m talking about,” he said, but I just shook my head as if I had no clue. Niall gave in and sighed. “Any guys bother you today?”

Niall was like an older brother to me. He always wants to protect me in anyway that he can. That’s why I haven’t told him about Liam and the other boy. Niall would seriously hurt the other boy if he knew that he put his hands on me. I didn’t mind the thought of Niall beating up the other boy just to give him a taste of his own medicine, but I didn’t want Niall to get in trouble.

“No, it’s been a pretty easy day today.” I said nonchalantly.

“Then why do I have the feeling that you’re lying to me?” Niall asked, eyeing me questioningly.

Damn it Niall. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t best friends with you. I could never lie to him for two reasons. One was because I was the worlds worst liar ever and two was because he could always tell when I was lying. He just knew me that well.

“I’m not lying to you.”

“Mmhmm,” he said. He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at me. “No panicking at all today?”

"No." I said higher than I intended too.

"Somehow, I still don't believe you. Julina," he said and took my hand in his. "I know you like the back of my hand. You get nervous around everyone, even if their twenty feet away. If they come near you, you freak out. All of that is understandable, considering what you have been through, but you can't sit there and say that you weren't nervous at all today. I know you were." he said gently with his eyes full of concern. I loved how understanding Niall was when it came to the problems in my life. He was never judgmental when I told him my problems. That's why I always went to him.

"Then why do you bother asking me if you already know the answer?" I asked.

"Well," he paused for a moment, searching for the right words. "To get you to admit it. To not only me, but to yourself." he said and I sighed heavily.

"When I don't admit it to myself, I feel normal again. It's when I do admit it that I feel crazy." I said and looked down at my free hand in my lap.

"Hey, you're not crazy. Like I said it's understandable and it's not good to hold it in like that." Niall said stroking my hand with his thumb. He was always so comforting.

"Okay fine. You win. I did get nervous today, but it was only once."

"Now I believe you." he said smiling.

Soon enough, an hour flew by and I got a text from my mom saying she was in the parking lot. I said goodbye to Niall and went home.

“How was your first day?” my mom smiled as I got into the car.

I looked toward her and smiled, “Not as bad as I thought it was going to be.”

My mom’s eyes beamed with joy, “See, I knew you would be fine. So, meet anyone new today?”

“Yeah, I talked to this guy in my English class today.” I said and stared out the window.

“That’s good! Was he nice to you?” she questioned.

“Yeah.” I lied. If I told her the truth, she would have gone on and on about how I should stay away from him because he is a ‘bad person’. I didn’t want to stay away from Liam. Something about him intrigues me and I want to figure out what it is.

“Were you nervous today?”

“I was once, but it passed quickly.” I said. My mom opened her mouth to say something, but decided not to press. The rest of the ride home we talked about her work and how some of her co-workers are dumb bitches, and don’t know how to keep their nose in their own business.

When we got home, my mom started dinner. We ate quietly as we watched TV. We were watching The Big Bang Theory. It was one of our favorite shows to watch. After we ate dinner, I washed up the dishes for my mom as she put away leftovers. I was finally able to go up to my room and relax after a long and exhausting day. I laid down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. I thought mostly about Liam, which much to my surprise, didn’t make me angry. He was such a jerk to me, but seeing him stick up for me like that really changed my mind about him. In my head, I watched as Liam got hurt over and over again, making me so angry at that boy.

“Why wouldn’t Liam want me to help him? Why would he want to suffer like that?” I said aloud. I’m talking to myself again. See, I really need to be in a mental hospital. I sighed heavily and got up to change out of my clothes and into some pajamas. I put on a pair of black shorts and a light purple tank top. I threw my hair up in a messy bun and looked at myself in the mirror.

Seeing myself in the mirror made me feel weak. The memories from my early childhood came flooding into my mind, and I tried so hard to suppress the tears. I looked in the mirror at the light purple scars on my arms, reminding me of how much I hated myself. The sudden urge to make more scars came over me.

“Don’t do it. You’re doing so well.” I said to myself, a few tears slipping out of my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and slowly stepped away from the mirror. I laid back down on my bed and put my head in my pillow, sighing heavily. I slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

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A/N: So this is my new chapter one!! I hope you guys liked it!! I'll be updating this story every Thursday. I want to get into a regular habit like that so be looking out for a new chapter 2 next week!! :D I will also be updating Save your Heart Tonight on either Friday or Saturday, i havent really decided which day yet, but i will definitely let you guys know!

So, tell me what you think.

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