Hero (Zayn Malik)

Lilian has finally had enough of her shitty life, the only good things in her life being a certain five boys, but even they couldn't save her. She was too far gone. So when Lilian decides that she has finally had enough, and ends it all, what happens if it wasn't actually the end? When a certain boyband member finds her and saves her, what will happen to Lilian? Will her life have a happy ending or will she continue in her downward spiral into hell?

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1. Final Goodbyes

 

*Lilian's POV*

If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you, I could take you places you aint ever been before.

"Ugh," I groaned and got out of bed, turning off my horrid alarm.

Yes, I realize that my alarm is Boyfriend by Justin Bieber, and yes, I hate it. I made it my alarm because it would force me to get up and turn off my dreadful sounding alarm.

"Lilian!" I heard my mom scream making me roll my eyes, I hate my name, it's horrible, I prefer Lily but my stupid uptight parents refuse to call me that.

"Lilian, hurry up and eat your breakfast or else you're going to be late for school," she yelled from downstairs.

Running down the stairs and into the kitchen I just grabbed an apple from the basket of fruit on my counter and told my mom I would just have the apple for breakfast. There was no way I'm eating the calory filled breakfast my mom made this morning, I'd rather not make myself throw up this morning.

Yes, I have an eating dissorder, yes my parents know, but they don't care, no one does, they don't know about the scars that line the inside if my thighs and cover my stomach. They don't bother to ask about why I never eat anymore, they don't bother to ask why I spend hours upon hours in the shower, they don't care, no one does.

"Bye mom, I'll see you later." I bid her farewell and she said bye with just a simple wave of her hand, looking down at the crossword in the daily paper.

Sighing, I opened up my front door and started the quick 10 minute walk to school.

Once I got to school I went straight to my locker, not making eye contact with anyone, just keeping my head down. I didn't exactly have any friends at school.

I grabbed the books that I needed for my first class and walked to homeroom. The bell didn't ring for another 20 minutes, but I didn't have anything better to do so I walked to the very back of the room and shoved my headphones into my ear, scrolling through twitter, sighing I went to his profile, the one person I can always count on to make me smile, Zayn.

Zayn Malik, my lifesaver.

Yes, I realize that being a senoir in high school and being 'obsessed' with a boyband is stupid and immature, but I've loved them since the begining, and Zayn has always been my favorite. 

They all saved my life, but Zayn just has a special place in my heart. The way when he smiles really big how you can see his toungue behind his teeth, or his laugh, my god his laugh is music to my ears, I could listen to him laugh all day. His beautiful Bradford accent, oh how I love him, but he'll never know I exist.

I checked the time and saw that class would be starting in 5 minutes, sending out my drafts to Zayn, which were probably useless, I logged off of twitter and put my phone into my pocket, then took out my science text book.

The first bell rang and everyone slowly started entering the class, taking there seats.

My science teacher, Mrs. Tompson came into the room and the conversation stopped immidietly, no one wanted to get Mrs. Tompson pissed off.

She started her lesson and gave us our homework for the night, telling us we could start it now if we'd like, considering there was only 5 minutes left in class I just shoved my text book back into my bag and took out my phone, logging back onto twitter.

I checked my mentions to see that I got some retweets and a few mentions, nothing new. No Zayn follow.

The bell rang and I made my way back to my locker to grab my Math books.

Math. Great.

This is by far my least favorite class because all of the snobby rich kids were in it with me, othewise known as 'the populars' I guess you could say.

I walked into class, not daring to look up and started making my way to my usual seat in the back of the class.

I had almost made it to my seat safely, but before I knew it someone stuck out their foot, tripiing me, making all of my papers go flying.

The whole class erupted into laughter, I was on the ground trying to pick up all of my stuff that went flying.

"Miss. Connors." I heard my teacher say.

Standing up and turning around to face her I put on a fake smile, "Yes?"

"Is there a problem?"

I rolled my eyes, is she blind?

"Uh, ya, he" I said pointing to the guy who tripped me, "tripped me and all of my stuff went flying."

Sighing, my teacher turned around to face Jeff, "Jeff, say sorry to Lilian for tripping her."

"Sorry," He smirked.

My teacher smiled clearly satisfied with his 'sincere apology' and started walking back to her desk.

"What? That's all you're going to make him say? He does this to me everyday and everyday the same thing happens, he apologizes and says he won't do it again, but look where we are now." I said angirly.

"You're right," she said, "but I really don't appreciate your behavior towards me, so you can head doen to the principle's office."

My mouth dropped open, I was about to say something else, but I didn't want to get into anymore trouble than I was already in. I just grabbed my stuff and walked out of the room and into the office.

This is so stupid! I didn't even do anything and I get sent down to the office! I hate this school, I can't wait to get out of here.

Looking around the office I realized that no one was in here so I walked out of the school and to the park that was nearby, sitting on a swing. I plugged my headphones in and put my music on shuffle.

Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink started playing. I love this song so much, it has so much meaning behind it.

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror, I can't take the person staring back at me, I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me. 

This describes me perfectly. Everyday when Iook into the mirror, I have to turn away. Looking down at my body I can see why no one likes me, I'm fat, I'm ugly, and I have scars.

I'm worthless. What's the point of me even being here? No one will care when I'm gone, why wait to die when I can just get it over with now?

Logging onto twitter I sent out a few of my final tweets.

@zayynshood: i'm sorry, but i can't take this anymore, i'm done with this shit hole of a world, goodbye.

@zayynshood: @Real_Liam_Payne thank you for keeping me alive these past three years, but i just can't take it anymore, goodbye, i love you.

@zayynshood: @Louis_Tomlinson thank you everything you have done for me these past three years, but i'm done now, i can't take it anymore, goodbye, i love you.

@zayynshood: @NiallOfficial i love you, thank you for these amazing three years, but i can't take this world anymore, goodbye.

@zayynshood: @Harry_Styles so this is my final goodbye, thank you for these past three years, i love you so much, thank you for everything, goodbye.

Sighing, I started my very last tweet I will ever write, my final tweet, to Zayn.

@zayynshood: @zaynmalik this is so hard, this goodbye, you've been keeping me alive the past three years, but i'm sorry, i just can't take it anymore, i'm done. so this is it. goodbye zayn, i love you.

I logged off of my fan account and went onto my personal and tweeted two words; you won, and then I logged off of twitter for good.

I made my way to the pharmacy to buy the pills that I needed to send me off.

I bought the pills and made my way to an alley nearby. I opened the lid with shaking hands and tears streaming down my face, I dumped about 15 pills into my hand and one by one I swallowed them, each one, until there were none left, I leant back against the building I was sitting by and waited for the heavens to take me away.

I closed my eyes and everything went dark.

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