Love and Hate

This is a Nial Horan Fan Finction. Najomitt is a huge directioner who won an interview and meet One Direction. After having a friendship Niall and Najomitt start having feelings for each other but Niall is scare about the fans and the hate she could recieve. What could happen when a couple receive so much hate?


25. Princesa

I woke up feeling fresh, happy and hot, hot to the point I was sweating. I opened my eyes and waited for my eyes to adjust to the light of the room, somebody was holding me by the waist suddenly images from last night came to my mind. The crying, the call, the random conversation and when I told him to stay with me. He was so understanding and lovely. My back was against his chest and couldn’t see his face; I slowly turn around trying not to wake him. He looked so peaceful, so adorable; I smile at the sight of him already missing him. I saw the clock in the wall 9:30, it was still early. I faced Niall again sliding carefully my hand over his hair. My feelings for Niall changed in the last 48 hours, they increased even more. My love for Niall had increase in the last two days more than the time I have been watching him for three years, I guess is because now I know him better, I know how he really is and I love every part of him. I would love to know if he feels the same way; I knew that he had feelings for me after everything that has happen, especially last night, it was pretty obvious; what was not obvious if it was as strong as mine was. I dropped the topic to the side by the urgent of having to pee. I decided to make breakfast so I went downstairs as quietly as possible. Everything was so quite that my mind started playing with me again but this time I got memories from my past, my past relationship and the only one I ever had before I met Niall. I thought of my feelings for Alex and Niall, I compare the two. Just by the simple thought of Alex my heart ached and felt like somebody was stabbing me, even after those years I still felt sad, hurt, pain; my eyes started to watered but I tried not to cry. You have to be strong I told myself, do not cry, not today.

When I was finishing setting the table I heard Niall coming downstairs, I wiped the few tears that slide into my cheeks rapidly and put the most honest smile I could make at the moment; I do was happy to have him but just by the simple thought of Alex made my day miserable.

“Smells good” he smiled at me, I shyly smile in return “What is it?”

“Well I connect with my zero percent of Irish heritage and made an incredible Irish breakfast” I laughed at my stupid try of a joke, he laughed too

“Really?” he looked kind of surprise. He looked at the food in the table “Let me guess Ulster Fry?”

I smiled at his guess because he was correct. Niall’s presence made me feel much better instantly and he didn’t even had to try. I nodded in response

“How did you know?”

“I told you I connected with my Irish heritage and looked at the internet” I laughed again, it sounded stupid and silly. Niall laughed harder this times “Did you know that the Ulster Fry is named after Ireland's northern-most providence?”

“Really?” he arched an eyebrow, he looked playful like enjoying an internal joke. I nodded “Thanks for the fact. Even though it is from northern Ireland,” I felt my cheeks flushed in embarrassment, I knew that but I still wanted to say the fact.  “but it is fine, is still Ireland. What matter is the intention right?” he winked. I smiled looking everywhere but him

“So, what are you planning to do when you get to your home?” I changed the subject quickly before I embarrassed myself more

“just spend time with my family and friends, probably get drunk” he laughed and said something else just I froze at the moment he said ‘drunk’ and ‘friends’. Those two words had a very bad meaning and my mind instantly associated them together bringing me back to that moment of just pain, tears and loneliness. I knew it was stupid to think that in that precise moment because I, no very time much time ago, got drunk with my friends too but I just felt differently; he was not going to be with me.

“Drunk? You can’t get drunk” I said the words before I could think on them. Niall frowned confused “promise me that you are not going to get drunk and drive, much less with friends” paranoia overtaking my mind. I just couldn’t stop the images and the pain that I felt was indescribable. I couldn’t take if something happened to Niall

“Nani, calm down!” he was by my side in an instant. I didn’t notice that I was shaking and crying “what’s wrong?” he asked desperate

“please just promise me that you are not getting in a car if you get drunk or any of your friends, please” I cried harder, images of that night and morning of horrible pain came to my mind again “Niall please” I knew that by those words I looked like a psychotic but I didn’t care

“If I do it would you calm down?” I nodded slowly, but I knew that he would ask something else even before he asked it “would you tell me what is wrong, and why on earth are you so… like this” he struggled with the words, he was polite enough to not say crazy

I whipped my tears slowly standing from the chair I was sitting, Niall looking at me with carefully. I drank a full glass of water before talk. I had to prepare myself and gained a little time to think about what I was about to say. It was something so private and painful for me, but I had to explained to Niall, if I didn’t he would think I am just another crazy girl with psychotic mind. I curse at myself for being so weak and stupid for crying about this in front of Niall but it was just the only though that Niall would do the same thing Alex did, I would really go crazy if that happened again.

“the story is long” I tried to excuse “you have to leave in-”

“I have enough time” he said before I could say the time. I knew it was still early but I just wanted to avoided this a little more

I inhale deeply until I couldn’t fill my lungs with more air. The last time I talked about this was a year ago with my therapist, which I didn’t like at all, and was very hard to do it again. Nobody mentioned this incident anywhere else anymore. I sat in the chair again Niall in front of me on his own chair, facing each other. I stare at the table, I couldn’t look at his eyes. We didn’t even touch the food.

“I have to tell you the whole story so you can understand everything” I whispered, not waiting for an answer; I knew he nodded “when I was about 8 or 9 years old I met a guy in my school. Alexander or Alex how friends and family called him” I small smile appeared in my lips at the thought “he was new in the school and I was the first person he talked to, we became friends. In Venezuela the school is different, everything is in the same school. Like elementary, middle, and high school are in just one school. We kept seeing each other every day so we became very close friends until he was my best friend. When I was about 11 years old I started to feel something more than just friends love. After a while I knew I wasn’t the only one so we started kind of dating. Nobody knew, just the two of us, I really don’t know why we were kind of scare what our parents would say even thought they knew each other. We always did everything together, and my parents loved him. He was sweet, cheerful, always trying to make everyone smile” for a moment I thought I wasn’t describing Alex anymore, instead I was describing Niall “we broke up when I was leaving, no because we wanted to, but because we had to. I wasn’t selfish enough to keep a relationship at distance, I knew it wasn’t the same and kind of stupid to expect from him to not be with anybody when I wasn’t even there. We kept in touch thought; I talked to him almost every day through Skype or my phone. He was one of the people who most helped me through the horrible first years here. I still loved him so much, I didn’t date anybody, not that I would want that anyways, he didn’t either. I mean I knew he talked with one or two girls after I left but nothing serious” I tried to catch my breath again. I was just talking so much trying to remember the good things “he came to visit twice in the summer he stayed at Florida with his Aunt. He would eventually go to Texas and spend some time together. I remember when he told me he was going to stay, I was surprised but so happy. He would stay in Florida because that’s where his Aunt lived but I didn’t care it was less space between us at least. I moved to Florida when I was almost 16. We were so close to each other we could see each other almost everyday, we weren’t in the same school but it was close enough” I prepared myself for now the worse part of all “Alex was a year older than me so he was graduating a year earlier than me. One day he told me he was going on a tour to visit some colleges. He was leaving on a Thursday so he could have three days weekend to search for every university he wanted to see in the area. I wanted to go with him but because I wasn’t a senior yet I couldn’t. The school gives several free days to the seniors so they could go on college visits. I was irritated by it but I had to accept it. I remember talking to him on that Friday night” I frowned trying to hold the tears already forming in my eyes “he told me he found some old friends of him and that he was going out with them to some college party. I told him to be careful, instantly not feeling very pleasant at that but it was just one night of fun, he deserved it. I told him to call me when he got to the hotel he was staying just to make sure he was okay” I shut my eyes completely feeling a tear in my cheek; this was the worst of all “I fall asleep waiting for that call. Next morning my mom entered rushing into my room, I was about to yell at her for waking me up at six in the morning on a Saturday but stopped myself when I saw her face and instantly I got worried. She was crying, tears all over her face. I started crying too before knowing what had happened, I had just feeling that something was wrong, so wrong. Then my mom passed me the phone but nobody said anything, I knew the call was still going so I just waited. When I was just so desperate to wait longer I asked who it was, the voice was one that I recognized. It was Andres one of Alex’s friend. The next question was rising in my throat, it was like burning my tongue ‘where is Alex?’ he didn’t say anything for so long that I just started to sob uncontrollably just feeling wrong, I heard that he was crying too ‘we had an accident Nani’ with those words my world stopped, at that instant I knew, I just knew what happened to Alex but I had to heard it, I could be wrong. You don’t know how much I wish I could be so wrong at that moment ‘Where is Alex?’ I asked but he just said ‘I’m sorry’ was the only thing he answered and the line went dead” I tried to control my sobs because it was just too much for me but I had to keep going “he died in a car accident because the stupid friend they had in college was drunk and driving. The other guys were also pretty drunk so none of them could drive anyways. At some point on the way to whatever they were going, the guy fall asleep while driving and crash into the side of the road. Alex and the Diego, the guy driving, were killed instantly by the impact but the other guys made it alive, a lot of injures but they were fine” I didn’t know how I kept telling the story but at the time the few words escape from my mouth I felt tired, without any energy into my organism and just pain in my chest. My face full of tears, sobbing trying to catch some air into my lungs

“It is okay” I heard Niall’s voice reassuring me giving me comfort “that happen a long ago, now you are here and everything is fine” not so long for me, almost two years and I still remembered every detail. I focused on Niall’s voice only. He kept talking for a while but I was in such a state that I couldn’t calm for a while until he started to sing to me, just like last night. I didn’t know the song, I didn’t care either, the only thing I was focused was on his voice to bring me back to reality. I don’t know how long he kept singing to me. At some moment he grabbed me and pulled me into his lap, I hide my head in the crock of his neck. When I felt like I had no more tears in my eyes, or at least no energy left to kept crying I finally looked at him

“thank you” was the first words came out of my mouth, just a little louder than a whisper. I wasn’t thank him for just this time, I was thank him for last night also. I knew I was in such a crazy state that I just cried in front of him and he was there just giving me comfort. His eyes were just full of concern and I could see his eyelashes wet by tears giving me the signal that he was also crying

“You don’t have to thank me for anything” he shakes his head. We were so close I smell his breath on my face “what I don’t get is why you told me everything of this” I felt a new pain in my chest. I trusted him enough to tell him that and the only thing he said is why I told him everything? He was the one who told me to tell him everything! Seeing the pain in my eyes by his words realizing how they sounded, he grabbed my head in his hands “I mean you knew him since your childhood, he meant everything to you. There is no way I could mean as much as he meant to you”

Shock came over me; he really believed that he didn’t mean anything to me? imitating his action I grabbed his face in my hands, did he thought I was around telling random people this story? “Don’t ever say that again” I looked at his eyes, they were red for crying “you mean just as much as he meant to me. Don’t be stupid, do you think I would be here telling you this if you didn’t? do you think I am going around telling people this?” my voice was harsh but I didn’t care “you are the first person in almost two years that I talk about this. No even my psychologist helped me. You mean so much to me Niall” I whispered while closing my eyes. I just felt tired and with no energy. Second by second I felt myself getting more and more comfortable in Niall’s lap and just the whole situation, having him here was so much better. I didn’t opened my eyes when I felt Niall’s lips touching my forehead so lightly I could barely felt it

“I would miss you so much” he whispered really low. I smiled a little by that. I would miss him so much. He kissed me in the corner of my mouth, not actually kissing me. I was thrilled by the way I was feeling. Sad, waiting for a kiss on my lips but also relief. Relief because I wasn’t ready for him to kiss me just yet, not when we just talked about my first and only love Alex. Well only love until now.

After a while we actually became concerned about the time because Niall had to leave at two in the afternoon and it was already 12 when we got into ourselves again. Niall went to take a shower while I finished the mess I made doing breakfast. By the time I was ready, already took a shower and my bag on my hand it was 1:30. I was worried that he would be late for his flight but he wasn’t at all. I told him that I would be walking home because I didn’t have my car and he had to go to the airport, this time he didn’t say anything, he was going to miss his plane.

“Well, I guess I will see you in two weeks” I said in the front door ready to leave. I was sad to say goodbye to him but happy that he was finally visiting his family after all this time

“Yeah” he seemed as he was thinking about something, debuting. I was about to start walking when I heard him say “oh fuck it” and grabbed me by the waist pulling me into him before pushing his lips against mine. I felt shocked at the beginning but in a heartbeat I put my hand around his neck kissing him back. Delighted by the feeling of warm on my whole body, his arms on my waist holding me in place. My hands traveled his hair feeling everything of him. When we finally separate to catch out breath our foreheads together, he brought his heands to each side of my face “I guess that is a great way to say goodbye” I blushed but didn’t look away “I need to talk to you about something when I get back. Have a great two weeks break from me” I laughed “Bye princesa (princess)” he gave me another light kiss and went running into the car leaving me schoked, exited and almost screaming of how sweet he was.

“Me llamo princesa (he called me primcess)” I said to myself smiling widely, feeling happier than I even felt.

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