Love and Hate

This is a Nial Horan Fan Finction. Najomitt is a huge directioner who won an interview and meet One Direction. After having a friendship Niall and Najomitt start having feelings for each other but Niall is scare about the fans and the hate she could recieve. What could happen when a couple receive so much hate?

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23. Never let go

Niall POV*

Since the moment I saw Nani getting out of the bathroom in my cloths my heart rate increase so fast. The shorts were too long for her and the shirt was almost as long as the shorts but she looked so great on them, no sexy but adorable, she is just something that you just want to hold forever and never let go. I wanted to be with her, to kiss her, to hug her but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let that she catch feelings for me and then everybody will hate her for that, judge her, be around her 24/7 and then she just won’t want that anymore and leave me. I couldn’t, or better, I didn’t want to end with a broken heart. I know is selfish but I couldn’t help to feel that way.

That kiss that we almost had was just complete amazing, I wanted to happen just as much as I wanted to happen the first time just that this time we weren’t in the effect of the alcohol and this time actually I would do it, meaning she would know that I am attract to her, to her lips, her face, her perfume, just everything of her. I felt my body temperature raised as if I had fever, the electricity between us was so much that you could see it, but at the moment I saw Liam I jerked away. In my mind I was screaming and cursing at him by interrupting us but in reality I was just sitting in my bed looking at the wall. I was sure as hell that my face was as red as much as it can be. When Nani went upstairs the boys just gave me looks that clearly say “go and stop her or I will kill you” I basically didn’t have any options, and if I am being completely honest the thing that I wanted to most was to spend more time with her. I would be without seeing her at least two weeks; I knew I would be thinking of her for the rest of my trip to my family.

I wasn’t even paying attention to what I was doing in the phone when I heard the bathroom door open “Better right?” I tried to play with her, lighter her mood. When she rolled her eyes I couldn’t help but to laugh. She is too adorable and so cute when she does that. I went to take a shower after telling her to stay in bed. I tried not to think of her again but it was just impossible not to think in her lips and eyes, her beautiful smile. “you just make a fool of me little girl” I thought.

I get out of the bathroom and saw her sleeping in bed. For a moment I visualized both of us in the bed, she in my arms sleeping just as now holding her thigh protecting her for anything and from everything. I shake those thoughts out of my head and silently went to the closet and put my pajamas on. I was planning on going directly to the couch but my brain and legs had another plans, leading me just at the side of Nani. I kneel to have her face at the same level as me “I like you Nani, so much but I am scared, so scared,” so scare of what? A little voice said in my head. Scare of losing her, but I can’t lose anything that was never mine but I wanted her to be mine. I felt frustrated again because this is messed up, this situation is killing me. I wanted to tell her everything that I feel, being able to be with her without having to worry about what other people will say to her, or if she would receive hate or being judge. I stand to my feet and went to the couch I have being now use to sleep in after those night when I fall asleep thinking on Nani and her smile.

I woke up by a soft knock in the door. I stood from the couch and see how it was. When I opened the door immediately a pair of arms were around my neck, I wasn’t surprise at all I knew this person too well

“Niall, oh god I miss you so much” she said sobbing “you guys are way too much out of the house and it’s not even the tour” I rubbed her back trying not to laugh, she is always so sentimental.

“Oh, come on Margaret we weren’t out that long” I looked into her eyes. I have a special affection for this woman, is incredible “I have missed you too” I smiled at her while she wiped away her tears

When she entered my room and saw the beautiful sleepy beauty that was in my bed her eyes widened in surprise and suspicion. I know that for her the scene was a shocking one, I knew what she was thinking and she couldn’t be more wrong in her thoughts; actually I wish that whatever happened in her mind happened in real life but sadly exist something call reality and that reality is not always what we wish

“Is not what you’re thinking, she is just a friend that stayed the night because she is sick” I explained before she got any further in her thoughts

“I am not thinking anything” she said but completely not buying what I said “whatever, I am just an old maid for you, right?”

“That is absolutely not true” I said with concern

“You have a girlfriend and you didn’t even told me” she reproached me “she was the same girl you went out with the other night”

“Yes but she is not my girlfriend, I would tell you Margaret. Really you think that low of me?” I asked with faked hurt, I already knew the answer

“of course not is just I am shock and you are a stupid silly boy sometimes” I opened my mouth to say something but she kept talking before I could say a word “ I want to meet her. Tell her when she wakes up that the breakfast is ready,” she winked at me “look at this mess, the cloths everywhere” and that was the perfect prove that Margaret Reynolds was into the house.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth when I got out I tried to wake her up. I felt guilty because I don’t know if she had a goodnight of sleep and I hate waking up people, specially because I know how is it feels to wake up after having just 3 hours of sleep

“What do you want?” Nani snarled rolling over the other side of the bed. I smiled to myself at the image in front of me.

“Not a morning person I see” I couldn’t help but chuckle

“Shut up” she laughed but rolled over again and I was able to see her face. Even after waking up her face was beautiful. She still looked pale but much better than yesterday “I probably looked worse than I thought because you are staring at me so much” she laughed again covering her face with her hands

I laughed as well “no you don’t” I smiled “we should go downstairs, the breakfast is ready. There is a new tooth brush down the sink. Your cloths are being wash right now, Margaret took care of it” I laughed

“Great. Thanks,” she smiled and I smiled back. I got out of the room, when I entered the kitchen everybody was already sitting at the table

“Morning guys” they all responded at the same time. Louis was sitting in front of me, by the expression in his face I knew he was going to say something inappropriate

“How was your night? Did you sleep well, or did you sleep at all?” I knew it! I blushed and looked down at my plate that Margaret already had placed it

“No! oh God Louis. She is not like that and she was sick. For your information I slept in the couch and she did in my bed” my tone was a little harsher than I was planning, I got a little angry by the way he was thinking of Nani

“I was just teasing, clam down boy” he rolled his eyes “she got deep into you” he whispered but I could hear it

“When are you going to tell her?” Liam asked me before I could respond to Louis

“I don’t know” I admitted. Everybody looked at me with an are-you-serious-right-now look. I sigh “I have this feeling like something is off, I feel like something bad is going to happen because of this. Is crazy I know but I can’t help it. Is a bad feeling”

“you can’t take this ‘bad feeling’ over your feelings for Na-” Harry was cut off by the girl who just we were talking about

“Good morning guys” she smiled widely. They responded the same way they responded to me

“how are you feeling? You look so much better than yesterday” Zayn told her

“I am feeling way better, thank you,” she was standing awkwardly in the kitchen door. I made a gesture to sit just at the sit beside me, it was the only one available “what are we doing today?”

“Well I have to leave at two to the airport and Liam is coming with me because his flight is at three” Zayn inform her. I felt concern when I saw her face, a sad expression was plaster on her face but she tried to fake a smile

“Oh, I see” she sighed looking down at her empty plate

“what’s the matter?” I asked her

“I feel like you guys are never here, even in your free days you always have to do something, never actually resting, as you suppose to do in your days off. I know is to visit your families and I am happy for it, at least in nothing about work” she shrugged

“don’t worry honey, you will get used to it” Margaret said putting a plate full of food in front of Nani, smiling sweetly at her “I missed them all every time they leave but you have to accept that is how their life are. I am Margaret, their maid”

“I knew somebody had to do all the dirty work” she laughed “it was impossible for five guys to live together and have this place as clean as it is”

“Hey!” Harry said offended. We all just laughed

“At what time are you guys leaving” she asked to Louis, Harry, and me

“I am leaving at five in the afternoon, and Harry is leaving at four in the morning” Louis responded at the same time Harry groaned because of the time he had to woke up “Niall is leaving tomorrow”

Nani looked at me with surprise in her eyes, but they were happier for some reason “you are leaving tomorrow?” she whispered. I nodded “so I have one more day to spend with you” she suddenly said but I think she didn’t want to said that out loud because rapidly she cover her mouth with her hand and looked away, her cheeks completely red. My heart started pounding fast by her simple words. She wanted me to spend time with her, she looked happy when I told her I had one more day in town. I couldn’t help the smile on my face.

After we finished eating Nani apologized and went upstairs saying that she had to take her medicine. I was planning on invite her to lunch and spend the afternoon with her before I take her to her apt. I went upstairs and found her bending over the bed trying to perfectly fit the sheets on the mattress. She didn’t know I was on the room so I kept looking at her. How she moved, how she bite her lips concentrating watching if everything was perfect. I wanted to kiss her again, I wanted her to kiss me, I really don’t know which would be best I didn’t care all I wanted was our lips to be connected like the last time. I wanted to feel the burn in my lips and the electricity in all my body. I wanted to tell her everything I felt, I wanted to take it out of my chest but I couldn’t. I couldn’t help that feeling as something bad was going to happen, I know it was something stupid but I just couldn’t help it. I don’t know if she felt my eyes on her, or if she just felt my presence but she turn her head to the side and catch me watching her.

“You know you can just leave it like that” I told her

“You know you can just help” she mocked me

“Oh so now you are mocking me” I said walking towards her. We were flirting and I couldn’t be more exited

“Maybe I am maybe I am not” she played

“You are a bad girl” I whispered right in front of her. I purposely stand only inches away from each other, I wanted to be as near as possible of her

“Actually I am a good girl” we were slowly getting nearest and nearest by each second

“I like good girls” I whispered before almost touching her lips. We were one second apart from kissing, from feeling the relief of her lips on mine again but having the luck that we have a loud knock interrupts us and instantly we separate.

Frustrated, that’s how I felt when I saw Margaret entering the room with Nani’s cloths neatly folded in her arms. I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from telling her the things that were on my mind in that exact moment. First Liam now Margaret. I couldn’t have a proper kiss without being interrupted by somebody, well actually I couldn’t have a kiss at all! After Margaret handed the clean cloth to Nani she left the room and the same as last time we just awkwardly stand there without saying a word. I don’t know how much time passed when Nani entered in the bathroom to take a shower. I sat on the couch blankly staring at opposite wall. I was going to ask her to go out for lunch. I stood beside the bathroom door when I heard the water off.

“Hey” I said when she step into the room. Her hair was wet for the shower “I was thinking if you would like to eat lunch with me” She didn’t say anything in a long time I was getting nervous “well? What do you say?”

“Yes, of course” she smiled “Sorry is just this situation is almost a dream for me. I never thought this would ever happen. You don’t know how many times I dreamed about this” she laughed. I smiled and thought about how many time I have been in her mind? Maybe just as a celebrity crush, she was part of the fandom I know she would be involve in every aspect of our life but I didn’t mind at all being the reason behind a smile while she was thinking of me “I want to ask you something”

“Go ahead”

She seemed to think on it for a minute “no, never mind” she shook her head

“Come on, ask me” I assure her, she always seems to have problems on asking something

“I was wondering if I could stay here another night” she speak fast I could barely understand what she said “you know because you are leaving and I won’t see you in a long time, if that’s okay with you?”

I was surprise by her question but sincerely I was happy, more than happy to know she wanted to stay one more night with me “Of course” I smiled “that would be amazing”

“Yes” she returned the smile. We stood there just looking at each other for a long time

“I am thinking that we should go to your house get your things and then we can go to some restaurant” she nodded in response “let’s go then”

Nani said goodbye to Liam and Zayn for a good 15 minutes, she cried a little even saying that she would miss them very much even thought it would be just two weeks; she talked about Perrie which made Zayn happy. Is amazing how those two seem happy just by seeing each other, I guess that’s what you call love. I had no idea if we were going to be able to make in time before Louis had to leave but Nani talked to him and later said goodbye, not before telling him or better demanding her to say to Eleanor that she sends lot of love. I laughed at it, she was so emotional. We got into the car and talked just a little in the short drive but for our surprise when we arrive just in front of the building were at least 10 paparazzi and some others fans.

“How the hell does they know where do I live?” Nani whispered to herself

“Honestly I have no idea. You tell me, you are the fangirl here” we both laugh

“But you are the reason why they are here” she fired back

“True that” we taking this with humor but I was nervous. This wasn’t the first time she had to deal with cameras and various paparazzi but let’s remember that the last time she was almost unaware of it, now she have to deal with screaming fans that know where she lives plus they will freak out when they see her company; I am pretty sure they already knew I was with her. My mind started functioning for itself, would they tell her something? Would they hate her because they think we are dating?

“Look this would be a little hard but not too much to enter, you just hold my hand and keep walking. They probably just heard the rumors of us dating and wanted to find out everything” I told Nani trying to park as far as I could. We didn’t need her car so she left it at my house, she would be staying anyways. I smiled at the thought. She just nodded, she looked kind of nervous

When we got out my truck instantly my ears hurt by the sounds of scrams and flashes everywhere, I hold Nani’s hand tighter so she couldn’t fall while pushing in between fans to make our way. There were more people than it seemed and was going kind of crazy. “Niall I want a picture” I heard somebody screams “Please” “stay” “I love you” I smiled by the love of our fans but Nani was with me and needed to go. I was almost out of the crow when I felt Nani disconnecting our hands, I turned around to see why she did that and I saw her on the ground rubbing her head “Bitch!” “Get off of him” “Whore!” “He is mine” “why are you with him” and every other hateful thing was said by the girls in the crow, the same fans that were telling me ‘I love you’ were the same saying ‘I hate you’ to Nani

“Are you okay?” I went to my knees and help her. Some polices officers came and tried to control the situation. Her eyes watered still holding her head. She nodded and I helped her stand “You keep walking, wait for me in your apartment, have everything ready, I will go upstairs in a moment. I want to meet some fans so they can calm down okay?” I scream. She mouthed ‘okay’ I saw her turning around and push a little more not before watching some of the girl sending hateful glares at her “Hey guys, okay this is a little crazy here so why don’t we calm down a little bit? The police is trying to help please I don’t want anybody hurt. We should do a line and I will try to meet as many as my time let me okay?” I spend an hour and a half taking picture with my beautiful fans. There were still some other people I couldn’t took a picture with but I just couldn’t let Nani the whole day upstairs, she was waiting for me “Guys please this is a building where people live, sleep, eat and they need some respect please don’t come in here. Please for me” I scream to everybody else. When I reach Nani’s apartment I rang the bell

“Hey” she smiled, but her smile was odd, fake. Her eyes were red and puffy and her eyelashes were wet. She didn’t had make up on but still it was evident she has been crying

“Are you okay?” I touch her cheeks without thinking. I felt nervous but she didn’t pull away so I kept it there. She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand, she bite her lip. I was getting worry, what affect her so much? Were the insults she heard downstairs? Was because I left her alone when we obviously had plans?

“I am fine,” she turned around “I will just put some make up and we can leave”

I sat at the couch for a moment trying to process everything that happened in the day. First she stayed with me the night; at least not with me but it felt so right having her sleeping so near. Second, we almost kissed but being interrupted again. Third, being surrounded by fans and annoying paparazzi. Fourth, and the worst of all, founding Nani crying in her apartment and me no knowing the reason. This girl was affecting my emotions going to happy, to flirt, to frustrated, to worry, to happy again, exactly a roller coaster of emotions. Happy  again because when she got out of her room with a small bag in her hand and showed me a genuine smile my mood changed completely.

“Ready?” she asked me. One of the hair form her half ponytail fall just in front of her eyes and before she could even react I was standing in front of her pulling the hair back into place. I looked at her in the eyes letting my hand touch her cheeks. Her yes still red but less puffy and brighter

“I am ready if you are” I whispered. Again we were attracting to each other moving our head together by each second. Screams was heard from the outside distracting me, breaking our weird connection which made Nani kissed me on the cheek. At least that was better than nothing, a sweet and innocent kiss. “Let’s go” I talked with a police officer before I went upstairs asking him if he could park my car in the back of the building so we wouldn’t have to pass through the crow again.

Lunch was quite but no awkward, we talked about random things; some facts about Nani that I didn’t know, her family, some of her culture and we basically discus the whole afternoon how her country and culture was different from mine. She promised to teach me Spanish when I got back. We were around the city a little more, not getting out of the car just driving watching everything on the beautiful city of London. The sun was on its twilight when we were heading to my house. Louis would be probably already in the airport which means Harry was alone in the house or out somewhere.

“Harry!” Nani yell his name when we entered. He didn’t response. I went to the kitchen to grab some water while Nani was watching some of the awards in the big shelf. I was taking the first sip when I heard her scream, I run where she stood scare of what happened to her causing her to scream like that. I just found a very scare and angry Nani with Harry in front of her smiling mischievously biting his lips trying not to laugh “What the hell is wrong with you? You really want me to have a heart attack?!” she shouts at him

“Calm down it was just a joke. I am sorry” he apologized with a more serious expression

“You better be sorry. Jesus my heart is pounding so fast right now” she said touching her heart “Gracias a Styles por asustarme tanto (Thanks to Styles for scaring me to detah)”

“I am really sorry, I didn’t thought you were going to be scare like that” he responded even thought I am pretty sure he didn’t understand what she said “you are very emotional lately”

“Maybe I am. Probably because I am almost in my period” Harry and I looked at each other our faces red, I bite my lips trying to stop a chuckle. Nani looked surprise and embarrassed covering her mouth with her hand “Oh my God! Guys please forget I said that. I am so sorry” we just laughed in response.

The rest of the day we talked and joked around. Nani trying to make Harry take a proper selfie saying that the fans needed at least one. She talked about her experiences being a fan of us, how many friends she have all over the world, excitement every time something new is released, but the thing that got me the most was how she described how much we changed her life and how much we mean to her and for millions of other boys and girls out there in the world. Harry excused himself around 9 saying that he had to wakes up really early. Again Nani said goodbye. We went upstairs as well to get everything ready to sleep. We were directly to my room, I was debuting myself either I should just go into another room or just stay here, I didn’t know what Nani would think having 3 more rooms available now

“D-do you want m-me to stay here or is better for y-you if I go into another ro-” I started to say but she interrupt me

“No!” she said too quickly “I mean no, is your room you should stay I am the one who should leave the…” now it was my turn to interrupt

“No way! You can stay here just like last night. I sleep in the couch you in the bed, no discussion”

“Okay” she simply said but I saw a smile playing on her face. She grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom. I heard the shower running.

I was laying in the bed just thinking, Nani was staying with me the night because she wanted to spend more time with me. The simple thought made me smile, she is not nearly to perfect but she was everything I could ask for. She was caring, beautiful, sweet, and clearly she wasn’t here with me for being famous or the money, she seemed genuinely happy and friendly with all of us. The image of her crying alone in her apartment this afternoon ripped my heart apart, just the thought of her being with me would cause so much drama, and this time wasn’t even true, wasn’t confirmed it what would happen if it was real?  How much drama and hate could she receive? My thoughts were cut by Nani walking in front of me with her hair in a messy bone and a oversize shirt but with a really thigh pants, for some reason she took my breath away, how is possible to have a girl in an oversize shirt took my breath away because of how beautiful she looked. It was just so natural, no makeup on, barely brushed her hair and baggy cloths that is what really beauty is, not some super skinny girls with a tons of make up on with incredible high heels, always trying to look perfect.    

 “I hope you don’t mind me wearing your shirt again” she said apologetic “I forgot to bring a pajama shirt”

“I don’t mind at all, as long as you are comfortable” she looked so lovely and the fact that she was wearing my shirt had my heart pounding fast. Her legs looked incredible in those pants. I stand up and headed to the bathroom fast before my mind could go any further than the shirt and the pants. The room smelled like vanilla her soap was there, her tooth brush even, made me feel so great. I took a quick shower; I wrapped the towel around my waist and got out. I was so use to getting out of the bathroom on just a towel that I didn’t thought on Nani. I suddenly felt embarrassed and literally run into the closet to change and put some pajamas on. When I got out she was laying on the same position I was while she was in the shower, checking her phone. She seemed so into it concentrate it that she didn’t notice me sitting right next to her in the bed “something interesting?” I whispered. She looked kind of disturbed and before I could look at her phone she blocked it a put it away. I furrow a little, she looked nervous

“No, nothing interesting actually” she said fast “just twitter. How was the shower?” she changed the topic, I didn’t give it importance

“It was  relaxing” I smiled “we are matching shirts. We look cute” I tried to joke but it wasn’t really a joke for me, in the inside I would love to say we look cute together

She laughed “if you say so”

We talked for a while, it seemed that there wasn’t enough topics when becomes talking with Nani. After maybe an hour she was getting sleepy, her answers were only ‘yes’ ‘hmm’ or some incoherent things. I smile to myself when she fully fall asleep and rest her head in my shoulders, both of our backs against the headboard; I put my arm around her shoulders holding her. I just looked at her peacefully sleeping, murmuring things in her sleep. After a while of watching her sleep like a psycho that I became, I started to get sleepy too. I tried to removed my arm slowly placing her flat against the mattress, when I almost stand to my feet I heard Nani moving and murmuring some things, those murmuring became sobs, I don’t know if she was still sleep but she sounded desperate

“Niall  please don’t leave me” she cried “don’t leave me alone, please. I am so tired so tired of feeling alone, please don’t leave me, don’t let me go Niall please!” she was sobbing. I got worried but instantly wrapped my arms around her, she hide her face in my shoulder and cried even harder, I just rubbed her back and murmured to her that I would never let anything happen to her, that she wasn’t alone, I would never leave her and most importantly I would never let her go.

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