Love and Hate

This is a Nial Horan Fan Finction. Najomitt is a huge directioner who won an interview and meet One Direction. After having a friendship Niall and Najomitt start having feelings for each other but Niall is scare about the fans and the hate she could recieve. What could happen when a couple receive so much hate?

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16. Mixed Emotions

Niall POV*

I felt so ashamed that I wasn’t there to protect her. I felt ashamed because I didn’t answer my phone when she called us. I needed to tell her that I was sorry, I was very sorry, because I promise her something and I didn’t do anything when she needed me.

We stood in the middle of the living room for 5 more minutes. I tried to comfort her and seemed to be working, because she stopped crying. I took her face between my hands and looked at her pretty brown eyes

“Are you better now?” I asked her. She nodded in response.

“Let’s sit, ok?” Again she nodded; I guessed she was too tired to talk. Harry and Liam looked at her

“Are you sure you’re ok? You looked a little overwhelmed,” Harry told her first

“I’m calmer now,” she said, looking at me. Why she was looking at me when Harry was the one asking her? I mean, I like it, it feels good, but weird at the same time. I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time and I feel alone sometimes, so it would be nice to have somebody. But why am I thinking about a relationship right now?

“We’re really sorry,” Liam said, taking me out of my thoughts

“Don’t be.” She shook her head

“Yes, we weren’t there when you needed us and we told you so,” I tell her.

“You guys were probably busy, don’t worry about it,” she tried to defend us, even when we tried to the say otherwise.

“We were in the gym, that doesn’t classify as, ‘busy,’” Harry said, using air quotes.

“Well… you need to stay in figure, you know? That is important.” “Whatever, that is not more important than you,” I said angrily. How she can think that being in the gym was more important than her?

 “I am sorry.” That’s all she said

“What are you apologizing for? We’re the ones that need to apologize,” Liam tried to talk some sense into her

“For all of this, making a huge big deal just because I got lost, crying so much, make you feel awkward with this situation, I don’t know, just everything.” We all looked at her like she had grown two heads. She is just apologizing for things that are not even true.

“Ok, ok, this is insane,” Harry told her with a little harsh tone, but his eyes were soft. “First of all, you don’t need to apologize for anything. We were the ones who didn’t help you, and second, this IS a big of a deal because if you think about it, what would happen if any of us wouldn’t pick up your call, then you would be alone and scare to death? I am serious, you do not need to apologize or cry or anything, just smile that you’re ok now,” I smiled at him; he was so sweet with her that I even felt grateful.

“And what are you talking about, making us awkward?” I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“This isn’t awkward at all, just don’t apologize for anything. All that matters is that you’re fine and nothing will happen.” I smiled at her, she also smiled and that was what I needed. Her smile was beautiful. I prefer having her smiling than tears rolling down her cheeks

“Just be more careful next time,” Liam told her. I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Next time? What? No! They will be NOT a next time. She is not going on bus anywhere else.” My voice came out louder than I wanted it to be, but it was just the image of Nani in that place again drove me crazy. I worried for her. I felt ashamed enough for not being with her when she needed me, let alone to think of her in the same exact place with those people without anybody to help her.

“Excuse me? I need to take the bus because for the moment, I don’t have a car so I don’t have other choice, and I think I learned my lesson,” Nani told me looking directly at my eyes. Her eyes were red for crying but still beautiful. They were a dark brown, but if you looked close enough, you could see a light circle around pupil, they were amazing. I don’t know how long we stood there just looking at each other eyes but I guess it was long enough to make the boys leave and let us alone in the room.

“Not wanting to interrupt anything, but I think Nani should go home now. I mean, it’s not like I want you out, but you should be tired after today,” Louis said. What did he mean by ‘not wanting to interrupt anything’? We weren’t doing anything. Yeah, I am used to Louis jokes and well, I learned to not over think what he said.

“Yes, I should go, it’s getting late. I will go walking, I don’t want to-” she started saying and was cut off by a unison ‘what?!’

“Walking? I am not even going to ask you if you are crazy, actually, you are insane” I told her. She had this confused in her face, obviously she doesn’t get it.

“You are not walking. It’s 7 in the afternoon, it’s going to be dark soon and you have more than 9 bags and you want to walk? No I will take you.” My tone was strong, so that way she could not deny anything. 

“But-” Somebody cut her off.

“I don’t want to be rude, really, but can’t you just say yes to something and not apologizing and feeling ashamed? We told you we would do everything for you; just take the damn ride back home, okay?” Zayn told her with a little smirk. He knew that Nani wouldn’t tell anything in response, instead Nani started laughing. She literally shrieked of laughter, holding her stomach, and then stayed like that for another 3 minutes without stopping. I tried to analyze what was so funny that made her laugh so much. My heart started pounding fast by the song of her laugh; it made me so happy to hear her like this and no crying, after all the things that happened today, the most you want is listen to her laugh. I forgot the reason of her laugh and concentrated in just her on her smile big and beautiful, her eyes closed. I wanted to take her face between my hands just to admire her beautiful face and look into her brown eyes. Suddenly I felt scare; was I started feeling something for this girl? Well obviously I don’t walk in the street to some girl and instantly my heart rate increase or when I heard somebody laughed I feel happy. No, I just felt it when I was with Nani. Since I met her, I wondered where she was, what she was doing and all those cheesy things but I never thought I had feelings for her I thought they were just curiosity. No, I definitely couldn’t have feelings for her, and if I had them, I’d better turn them off because it was no way that could actually work out.

“I’m sorry, but that was just too funny for me,” Nani said, taking me away from my deep thoughts. She was weeping away her tears.

“Ok, está bien me rindo.”(fine, I give up) she said in Spanish. We didn’t understand, but by her body language, she told us she was going to let me take her without saying a thing. We stood up and I started walking towards the door and grab my car keys. Steven and Javier put Nani’s bags on the back of my car

“Guys, I want to thank you.” I told them

“Thank us for what?” Javier asked, confused. “Because you helped Louis and Zayn to get Nani and I appreciate that very much.”

“You don’t need to thank us, it’s our job,” Steven responded with a smirk on his face. I don’t know what for, but then he asked, “You really care about her.”

“Of course, all of us do.”

“No, but I mean in more than friends way.” I couldn’t responded, I didn’t know how to respond. We all care for her, but do I see her as more than a friend? I wasn’t sure, but yet again, I thought on how she makes me feel.

“I just know that she’s alone here, so I want to make sure that she can count on us and that we are here for her,” I decide to say instead of tell them something that I am not sure of. I mean, it’s not a lie, she is alone and I want her to count on us. They just nodded

“We’re going now,” they announced to the rest of the guys. Nani was at the door while I was sitting on the pilot sit in my car. I was near enough to hear everything they said.

“Tha-” Nani started saying.

“God damn it, don’t apologize or thank us for anything, just go away,” Louis told her, half playfully, half serious.

“AHHHH, YOU GUYS ARE IMPOSSIBLE!” Nani screamed, and we all started laughing. She looked so frustrated.

 “You know guys, I have this necessity to be polite and thank the people when they do something for me, but what do you do? You just send me away.” She shake her arms in the air while trying not to scream again.

“I don’t care, just go,” Louis said again, but this time more playful than serious. I think Nani took it very serious.

“You know what Louis? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR ME TODAY, AND GUESS WHAT, I AM SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU” she shout which made me laugh even more. Her face while screaming at Louis was just too funny. While she shouted everything, Nani walked towards the car, but to the wrong side, which made her even more frustrated.

“Of course I needed to be on the wrong side,” I heard her whisper. It took everything in me to not burst into laugh when she sat next to me. I cough avoiding to laugh. I knew if I did, I would be dead.

“Don’t say a word,” she said while looking through the window, pointing a finger at me.

We didn’t say anything until we got to the building and parked. I helped her to carry the bags.

“Where do I put this?” I asked pointing at the bags.

“Put it on the counter.”  We put all the bags on the counter in silence.  I wasn’t sure if she was still frustrated or mad. “Niall?” she called me. I loved the sound of my name in her voice. I wondered how many times she mentioned it before. I would love to hear it.

“Yes?”

“I know I apologize too much, but just listen to me, ok?” I nodded.

“I am sorry for being harsh to you in the car. It’s  just today was a very crazy, emotional day and, well, I just had too much.” She tried to avoid eye contact, but I hugged her. She looked so weak and fragile and I felt the impulse to protect her.

“I know, I understand, you don’t need to worry about it.” It felt so nice to have her in my arms. It felt perfect but my head decided to contradict that and I start to debut myself,  but I shake them away. No, my head would no ruin this moment or anything, but then again, something had to take us apart from our embrace, because my stomach made some weird sounds. Nani giggled.

 “Are you hungry?”

“Yes, a little bit.”

“Do you want to stay for dinner? I can make something. I am not the best cook, but I will try.” She smiled.

“I would love to,” I smiled at her back; she was just so sweet.

“What about some pasta and meat balls with sauce?” She asked me. “Anything you want,” I simply responded her; she was the one cooking, so whatever she wanted, I was ok with that. As I sat on the couch in the living room, I texted Liam that I was staying for dinner.

“May I help?” I asked watching her busy with all the boxes of cups and plates.

“If you want to. Just put the cups and the plates in the dishwasher and take two so we can eat on those.”

“Why put them in the dishwasher? They’re  clean.” I frown my eyebrows

“Because you don’t know who touched that or if they have toxic chemicals for the body,” she explained. I looked at her like she was some psychotic person.

“I know I am crazy, but it’s true. Don’t look at me like that,” she laughed. I just shake my head. “I’m sorry for all the mess; I haven’t had enough time to clean.” And there she goes again with all the apologies. She really need to stop that, because she doesn’t need to explain or give an apology every time she does something.

“It’s ok, really.” Nani started mopping the floor.

“You really need everything clean, don’t you?” We both laughed.

“Yeah, kind of. I like everything where it belongs.” We kept talking about random things, about her childhood, family, friends, etc.

 “I met your mother at the hotel, also your sister, and I talked with your dad through the phone. I think the only one is your little brother,” I told her when she was telling me about her, ‘no normal family’. By that time, we were eating on the little table in the kitchen.

“Daniel. He’s 7 years old, very shy, and also mean. Can you believe that he basically bullied me in my own house?”

“He is 7 years old, how can he possibly bully you?” I told her while laughing. With Nani, it was so easy to laugh. “I don’t know, he just did.” I laughed at her, Nani was so silly.

“Anyways, are you going to tell your parents about what happened today?” I asked, serious now.

“No, I don’t want them to worry, and knowing my mom, she will give me an hour lesson telling me that I should be more careful and some other things that give me a headache.” I nodded.

 “I got you. My mom used to tell me the same when I moved here.” I looked at Nani;  she looked so tired and then I remembered she woke up really early this morning.

“Aren’t you tired? You woke up today at 4, right?”

“Yes, but I want to stay up until 10 or 11 so I can sleep without waking so early.” I looked at my watch.

“You know is already 10:15?” “What? Really? The time has passed so fast.” “Yeah, I’d better get going. You should sleep and well, I’m really tired myself too,” I said,  standing up.

“Thanks for dinner, it was nice.” She laughed.

“You don’t need to say it was nice; it wasn’t that good and you know it.” I laughed with her.

“It tasted good to me. Text me if you need anything, ok? See you next time, and please be careful, I don’t want you to get lost again,” I said while touching her cheek, and she started blushing.

“I will. Bye, take care!” She gave me a kiss, just as before in the hotel. She told me that they used to do it when they greet or say goodbye. It was fine with me. What wasn’t right or normal was the burning that I felt when her lips touch my skin, yet it felt good, too good, too be honest. I was so surprise by this that I almost ran into the elevator and rushed until I got into my car. When I got home, I let the guys know everything was fine with Nani and that she was ok, I didn’t tell them at what I felt about the kiss. I couldn’t even explain it to myself, how was I supposed to explain it to others? I lay in bed thinking about how everything went today and I remembered one question that I couldn’t respond to, one that Steven asked me but I wasn’t sure about it. Did I care for Nani in more than just a friend way? My heart screamed YES, but my head, my rational  and stupid head also screamed yes BUT there were consequences. Did I want her to take those consequences? And I included?

“Maybe I do,” I said, smiling.

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