The heartthrob that doesn't know he's a heartthrob. The guy that never leaves the fine arts hall. The christian that goes to church three times a week. The senior with the burning blue eyes. He's a virgin that has me under a spell. And while I'm busy trying to steal his virginity, he's stealing my heart.
He's Bradley.


21. Twenty One

"I wish we could stay here forever." Brad said, leaning back against the small window of his truck. I sat beside him with my legs stretched across the length of the pick up. 

"We could." I put my hand on top of his warm one. "If we wanna starve to death and never shower again." He laughed at my comment and tackled me. My laugh echoed across the field, and my giggles bounced back at us. He kissed me playfully and said, "You know," His fingers trailed across my chin and held it in place. This forced me to look into his eyes. "I love you." He breathed it out, like if he didn't mean to say it.

It only took a second for it to soak in. I thought about where I was, meaning, my surroundings. He drove us to some field on a hill. You could see mountains and birds And little purple flowers growing from the ground. It was somewhat of a meadow, and it was certainly abandoned. We'd been there for hours already, although it didn't feel like it. But I knew because I saw the sun starting to set. The next step was to think about how I felt about him. I think I loved him. Those words had never been said to me from anyone other than Aunt Macy and my brother. The way he was staring at me made me feel like I was safe with him. He wouldn't hurt me. If anything, I'd been the one to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him, but there were so many things going on. And-

I decided to push everything out of my mind. My head was suddenly blank, and all I could do was kiss him. I fell onto my back and held onto him while my entire body shook. I felt like this was something more. I had a feeling that this was further than what I was thinking about thirty seconds ago. The way his eyes were suddenly hungry. And my feeling was confirmed when he went to pull my dress up. When that was done with, he whipped his shirt off in less than a second. I gasped, not meaning to. Believe it or not, I started undressing myself. I decided in a split second that I was going to give myself to him. To Bradley. The guy in school with all the theatre friends, with a christian heart, with a troubled father. If you saw him for the first time, you never suspect anything that goes on in his house. The yelling, the crying, the neglect. 

I didn't think it would happen this way. In a meadow in the back of his pick up truck on a big brown blanket. It was slow and rhythmic. The way he touched me so gently, like if I was delicate. It made my heart feel light, like if it wasn't even beating in my chest. I pushed further, no matter how hard my hands trembled. I kept throwing the nerves out. I didn't act like I was experienced. I was myself. I was vulnerable. I let him see me at this weak point, but I didn't care. He didn't care either. Because he loved me. Every whimper was noticed and every moan was heard from the both of us. Overall, it was an experience that I didn't expect. Amazing, but not amazing at the same time. 

The not amazing part didn't start eating into my mind until the next day. 

When I regretted every bit of the whole thing.

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