Dear Harry

Sage Marrow, one of many fans of One Direction. Living in the mind of a depressed girl, she writes letters to Harry, finding it comforting. And though she never sends them, she can't help but hope that one day he'll read them.

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1. December 15, 2013

Dear Harry,

So, I know you're probably never going to read this, and I honestly don't expect you to. But I guess writing this will give me someone to talk to, ya know?

I plan to write more letters to you, even though I don't plan to send them. I know that if I sent them, you wouldn't even see them. So I'll keep them in a box hidden in my closet, so no one else can find them. If anyone found them, I don't know what I'd do.

They would laugh at me, that's for sure.

I love you. I love your smile. Your hair. Your eyes. I love how you can receive so much hate, and yet you love your fans with all the love in the world. I love how you can do that. How you can be so nice.

I love your sense of humor. I love how you can wear the strangest boots, and still manage to pull it off.

There's not a thing that I don't love about you.

In fact, it's scary how much I do love you. I love you more than I could ever love myself.

Is that wrong? To hate myself as much as I do? To love someone who doesn't even know me, more than I love myself?

I always hear how people should love themselves, and yet I can't manage to do just that.

Anyways, so I know this is short, but I didn't really want to dive into anything, ya know? I didn't want to overwhelm you in the first letter.

That is, if you ever read it.

So I'm going to end it here. Always remember that I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I love all of you.

You helped me more than you will ever know.

I love you,

Sage ❤️

I finished drawing the small heart next to my name. The letter really was short, taking up only two pieces of notebook paper.

Setting the pen down, I quickly folded the letter without looking over it. I knew that if I looked over it, I would think its stupid and throw it away.

Then I'd have to start all over, and I've been meaning to start writing these for a long time. It's better than writing in a journal anyways, like my counselor suggested.

I grabbed an envelope, and stuck it inside, sealing it shut. On the back I wrote the date, December 15, 2013. Underneath it I wrote Letter #1.

The first of many letter I planned to write to him. To 1/5 of One Direction.

Harry Styles.

Sighing, I sprayed the letter lightly with my perfume. I've always done this with letters. I think it makes it seem nicer and more sincere, in a way.

Grabbing the old shoe box I had saved, I stuck the letter inside and shut it. I stuck it in a dark corner of my closet.

I walked back to my bed, plopping down on it and closing my eyes lightly. It was late, I had school tomorrow, and yet I couldn't seem to be able to fall asleep.

My thoughts were racing through my head way too fast, and I couldn't seem to find the off button.

I sighed, turning off the lamp beside my bed and laying down on my left side, facing the wall. I closed my eyes once more, trying to distract myself by thinking of Harry actually reading the letter.

It brought a smile to my face, that's for sure.

Just imagining all the different a ways he could react to it had me relaxing more. And just like I wanted to, I ended up falling asleep thinking one of many scenarios that had no chance of happening.

Like every night.

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