Cry Lovely

'Anxiety shot through my veins, raging fires. I don't know what I want. I'm confused. Broken. Searching for hopeless love. It's hiding, I'll find it one day not today. No one will love a broken girl. She has herself. Her mind filled with psychotic thoughts.'

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I brought my fingers to my lips and stayed silent. He stepped closer and closer to me. I tried moving away from the fridge to the doorway. I wanted to know him too, more of a bond that I did't need a break from. It was too late to escape he nearly had me pinned up against the fridge. He grabbed my wrist tightly like on the night I saved him. He made sure his grip wouldn't hurt me. He leaned in closer and had his mouth next to my ear.

"Save me from myself." He whispered softly in my ear. I had know idea what made him think I would be able to save him. I don't remember how I saved him before how was I supposed to save him again? He pulled away and looked down at me, our noses only several inches apart. He sighed and stared back into me.

"I'll meet her." I whispered back to him. He smiled a little. "She's going to love you." We stayed silent a little longer still gazing at each other. I don't know what he thought I was to him but I knew he wasn't going address that to me. He moved his face in closer to mine. I turned my face not wanting to obey his gesture. He stepped back still holding onto my wrist. He put both his hands on mine and held my hand tight.

"I'm going to get a couple things together so we and get out of here. The car keys are on the coffee table, you can out and grab some clothes to get dressed if you want." I nodded and he disappeared out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I went into the living room heading for the coffee table. The keys weren't there so I walked back over to the bottom of the stairs. I yelled out so he could here me. "Harry, they're not on the table." There was a pause and he came running back down the stairs without a shirt and with black jeans. He handed me the keys. "Sorry, they were in my pants pocket." I looked at his toned body noticing all him tattoos. He smirked a little and turned around to run back up stairs.

I headed for his front door. It was cracked open I must've forgotten to close it when I ran inside after him. The wet pavement kept my feet cold. I walked over to the car and unlocked the drivers side so I could pop the trunk. Before I was able to hit the switch. My parents friend was walking by on the sidewalk along with her golden retriever. She was around 54 and was very athletic for her age. I rolled to the side of Harry's car that would block her view from noticing me. She was mumbling to herself as she got close to passing his house. I realized she was on the phone.

"No Janet I told you, you've got to keep the search going. There's no way she could've left the town she loves you all too much." She murmured into the phone then she paused as she listened for Janet's response, my step mum. Harry came out of the house and saw my hiding behind his car and gave me this confused look. I pointed and gestured to Mary walking by. He nodded and went over to his car, trying not to pull attention to himself. Mary's dog slipped away from her grasps and he ran over to the front of the car where I was hiding. He knocked me over and licked my face. I lovers this dog but I was terrified she was going to see me.

"Murray! Come back here you silly thing!" She hollered running into the driveway. My heart beat faster. Harry acted fast and pulled Murray by the collar and lead him back over to her. "I'm sorry Harry, I have know idea what got into him." She chuckled some. "No worries Ms. Wells, hope you enjoy the rest of your walk."

"Have a nice day dear!" She said to him walking away. I could see her fast walk down the block and take a right down Blue St. I felt relieved. I need to leave before something like that could happen again. Harry came over and helped me up.

"Thanks for stalling." He smiled and popped the trunk for me. I walked to the back of the car and opened up my red duffle bag. I was looking for warm clothes. "I'm going to be inside, I need to clean the living room a little." I laughed at him. "You can clean all you want when we get to San Francisco." I grabbed my clothes and walked up to him as we both walked to the door. He let me in first, I walked up the stairs to the hallway bathroom. I changed into my American Eagle brand skinny jeans and a V-neck long sleeve sweater. I placed Harry's clothes on the counter. I took my hair out of the pony tail and combed through it with my fingers. I let it hang down and pulled a strand behind my ear. I brought my toothbrush up with and used his toothpaste. I took Harry's clothes and walked out of the bathroom. I turned off the light before I walked out the door.

I ran into a walking by Harry. "Oh, sorry." He laugh a little. I might've laughed too but I couldn't get this morning conversation out of my head along with the pounding that followed me everywhere. I handed him his clothes and walked back down the hallway with toothbrush in hand. I forgot to tie my converse so the laces were flopping around once I came down the stairs. I was overwhelmed, scared. The hospital, just thinking about it made my head pound, carried around so much death and despair. I've been in one once I couldn't stand the emotions and terror that revolved around the building. I couldn't believe how Janet was able to work there day and night. It was Tuesday though, her day off.

~

Harry pulled up into the parking lot, it was pretty empty. We both got out and walked through the big front doors. I followed him to the wide and tall main front desk.

"Why, hello Harry." The lady must've known him and how much he came to see his mother. I tried cover my face and look away not wanting to be seen or noticed by anyone. "You know where she is I'll check you in." She smiled but it wasn't a happy or ecstatic one. It was full of sympathy and guilt. Harry started walking and he motioned for me to follow him. "One minute." He nodded and headed for the hallway. I turned to look at the lady and the smile was whipped off her face.

"Um, is his mother going to be okay?" Her eyes turned wide and she pulled out a file. She handed it to me slowly, she was shaking like crazy. I opened it cautiously not wanting anything to fall out.

It was a death certificate.

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