Fire 2

"We can forget all of the bad things and then start new."
"Is that enough for you."
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"As long as you do, it's always enough for me."

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21. Can't go wrong with coco pebbles

"Babe... it's been a month. Why are you so obsessed with this?" Ryan put his hands on my shoulder and I shrugged him off.

"Because, Ryan, that was the second baby I lost! I have to know if there's something wrong with me!"

"Scar... there's nothing wrong with you. Miscarriages happen all the time."

"But I'm 17! Miscarriages happen to older women."

"Not all the time. It could be because of that iron thingy you have."

"Am I under weight?! I did everything right! I ate healthy, we didn't have sex, I took small walks, I have iron supplements and that's good for you! I just don't get it!"

"Look," he took my face in his hands, "we need to stop guessing and you need to start going to the doctor. Okay? He can help us. I'll make an appointment." I nodded and kissed his lips. He grabbed his phone and dialed the number he paced as it rang. "Hello I um... I wanted to make an appointment for my fiance... she um... she had a um..."

"Just bloody say it!" I almost laughed at my choice of words. 'Bloody.' Shouldn't he be saying that. I saw a bit of humor flash in his eye, but it quickly as he said the dreaded words.

"Miscarriage." ouch. I walked out of the room as quickly as possible. I had no interest in that conversation. Knock. I wasn't expecting visitors. I ran down the stairs and looked through the peep hole. I gasped almost screamed. I swung the door open to a very pregnant Gabby and a very happy looking Justin. I hadn't told anybody about the miscarriage so...

"Congrats! You're prego!" Just held out a tiny gift bag.

"Guys..." I covered my mouth as I started dry heaving.

"I know it's those pesky mood swings. I got them when I was 2 months." Gabby wrapped her arms around me. "Except I was a little bigger than you... are you sure you're pregnant."

"Actually I'm not anymore." My voice cracked. "I had a miscarriage." 

"Oh sweetie. Oh my god. I'm so sorry." 

"No I'm fine now. I swear. It's been a month."

"No you're not. I can tell." she gave me a half smile. "Besides Ryan's really hot. It won't be long until there's another one."

"Right."

"Babe, your appointment is in 2 weeks."

"Appointment?"

"We're trying to see if everything's okay with my body."

"Have you guys been trying again?"

"No I'm just too sad. I'm never in the mood and I just want to know what's going on first."

"Well you know you gotta get right back on the horse." 

"I'm not ready yet." I was getting a little annoyed. "Besides why are you so worried? You have your baby." I snapped. Gabby backed up. "I'm sorry.. I just don't want to talk to anyone about it right now." 

"No I get it. I just... can you have Ryan call me I have to talk to him about something."

"Okay." I nodded and walked them back out the door. 

~

"Baby..." I called into the darkness as I lay in my bed.

"Yeah?"

"Do you... miss me?"

"Of course I do. I can't stand seeing you so distant and sad. It's heart breaking."

"I meant like... sexually..."

"Oh Jesus! Yes!" I jumped and giggled at his enthusiasm. "I mean no pressure to do anything tonight though."

"It's just... Gabby said something about getting back on the horse..." Ryan snorted at this. "What?"

"I'm guessing I'm the horse." I laughed at the ceiling. "Can we have like a code word?"

"For what?"

"When one of us want to slow something down or speed something up..." I bit my lip to keep from laughing about the unintended joke.

"Okay um... Cheetos."

"Okay so that's one suggestion." He chuckled. "let's keep this going."

"Can't go wrong with fruity pebbles."

"I hate fruity pebbles."

"Okay so... Coco Pebbles." 

"Can't go wrong with coco Pebbles... I like it." 

"Me too."

"Can't go wrong with Coco Pebbles."

"That's the code."

"No... Scarlett. Can't go wrong with Coco Pebbles." Oh. Right. I bit my lip. "Is that a no?"

"Oh what? No!"

"So it's a no?"

"No."

"It's a yes?"

"Yes."

"So we're gonna make out now yeah?" 

"Fuck Ryan just kiss me!" 

"Right. Right." 

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