The Girl With Leukaemia

(Inspired by TFIOS) Aisling Rivers has been diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukaemia since she was 8 years old, and up until now, her life hasn't sparked any fun at all. It is a constant drive in and out of hospitals and their hospital beds, a normal day is impossible. Having a life is impossible. Finally, she meets a boy that is her age and she leaves her current situation completely to befriend Jett Nolan.

Jett Nolan is a notorious vandalist and has a buzz for putting up fights. He has been to court the previous two times and he assumed that it would be the same routine for the third time. Attend a court meeting, settle out any fines and then spend hours in a youth detention centre but his punishment this time was different - community service, in a hospital, filled with sick and old people. Not what Jett had in mind... at all.

She was looking for a friend and all he needed was some company but what they didn't know was that they would become so much more.

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8. The Girl With Leukaemia| 6

 

The Girl With Leukaemia| 6 

- A i s l i n g -

 

I felt an unknown feeling disperse inside my body making me feel an unfamiliar sensation, warmth. It's not the kind of warmth you get from the heating but the warmth of hot sweet chocolate on a cold winters morning. It's satisfying. I watched him closely as he gently helped me onto the hospital bed, lifting each leg slowly as though they would shatter in his hands like glass if he wasn't careful. His face etched with determination for what I am not quite sure about yet. He then pulled a blanket over my legs and moved back to see if he did everything right. My lips twitched into a small smile as I watched him nod his head knowing that everything was okay before sitting himself into the chair beside the bed. 

"Why are you here?" I questioned curiously to which he looked at me with no expression. His eyes glowed in the winter light in between the strands of hair he flicked down to cover his forehead and then averted his gaze down towards his lap. His shoulders made a gradual move up and went back down softly before answering.

"I don't think you'd like to know. Considering there isn't much of a story to tell and plus that would take out the fun in our so called friendship. I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm just getting used to the idea of us being 'friends'" he said vaguely. A sense of desire to know more about him bubbled inside me but I stopped myself from intruding into his personal life. Although, there lie a burning question in the back of my mind yet there was no question formed, I knew that eventually a answer will be given and I might not like what it may be but I dared not to dwell with my thoughts any longer before I say something I regret.

"You don't try a lot, do you? I don't mean new experiences but willingly you don't try. Why do you tie yourself down because eventually your going to have to be set loose to do things in life even if they seem intimidating" I say boldly but it felt like I was pushing for answers that I wasn't yet worthy of getting and I didn't want to seem like those invasive people. The ones that don't trust enough to allow stories to be told with time. 

"I'm not tied down by anything maybe I just don't want to do things in life" he mumbled which struck a nerve with me. He fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt looking extremely carefree and as if he could do nothing and everything with a click of a finger and he wouldn't need to put any effort in it.

"Then answer me this would you rather be tied down and get nowhere in life or would you do something successful and make the most of it until your very last breath. We don't get another chance to relive our steps and sometimes life is too short to die knowing you didn't do something significant" I took a deep ragged breath and exhaled heavily. My eyes burning with tears on the the verge of being noticed and so I quickly blinked them away before Jett saw and swallowed the huge lump that had formed in my throat. He looked at me his mouth shut firmly and his eyes glaring as if he were staring at the person he hates most. The feeling is terrifying but I can't stop myself, I want to erase everything I've just said and be the same people that were on the swing outside but by the time I've said it there is no way I could swallow the words back in.

"All I am saying is don't waste it, please. Put your stamp on the world and make people know you for your originality" and just as the last word slipped off my tongue my parents made a their grand entrance from what seemed like forever away.

"Hey kiddo, your mum and I just nipped out for a bit of lunch" dad said while looking back and forth between me and Jett noticing that something was not right. However, the minute my parents made their entrance Jett began to get agitated or irritated might be the right term. He couldn't even look at me anymore and he didn't acknowledge my parents like he usually would with a mere hello. 

"Goodbye Mr and Mrs Rivers" Jett stood up almost too quickly, eager to leave and as I expected he stormed out of the room without saying another word or giving me one of of his warming goodbye smiles. A layer of unfinished words hang heavy in the air after our conversation. I don't know why I said the things I did but it clearly pulled a string on him. 

"Oh, I didn't get to thank the boy. Why did he go in such a hurry?" Mum says curiously as she watched the door close. I didn't want to do anything that would push him away but I think that's exactly what I've done. I shift my gaze to the window, it was snowing now and the flecks of snow stuck to the window and in just a millisecond it disappeared along with the many flecks that came down onto the window. I felt a hand on my head and I turned to see dad giving me one of his small 'okay?' smiles. Even though nothing is okay now I can't except them to be worried and in response I smile back but it doesn't come so naturally and I force myself just as I force myself to go to sleep that night after my parents leave to rid my mind of all that's happened. 

I stayed awake during that night even after my parents left and even after I tried to force myself to sleep but, the conversation still stuck in my head and I couldn't avoid it. What if I hinted that there was something very wrong with me and he's figured it all out or maybe I've offended him in some way which I feel is what I've done. The daunting feeling of not knowing what I've done is aching and painful because I don't think I can lose the only person I can call a friend. All I've ever wanted was someone to talk to, someone that makes me feel normal, someone that hopefully can see past what I become but lying to him is killing me and I can't stop the pain. If I've pushed him away that doesn't have to be such a bad thing I guess I'm not just saving me from the endless pain but for him as well. He won't have to see me transition into one of those cancer patients, he doesn't have to think or worry about me and wonder what the hell is happening. I guess I can leave my own unique stamp on the world without having to wonder if anyone will remember the girl whose spent more than a lifetime in hospitals or the one that forget about her condition despite everything to feel normal.

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