When Devil meets Angel.

As long as we have each other, we're both gonna be okay.
Sometimes even best friends make mistakes.
This is the type of story where everything went so out of hand.

-Based on a true story.-

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6. Chapter 5.

When you lose some things, you can't replace. 

When you love someone, but it goes to waste. -Coldplay-Fix you. 

Another fight only this one has been even worse because we punched each other. Well I wouldn't say punch. I'd say just hit, because she mentioned us stopping being friends and I couldn't hold it any more so I just hit her a few times and she hit me back and in the end I just ran off. And right now I am speed walking home because I swear if I see someone I know now I'll throw them under the bus. 

I finally ran into our house and run down to my room. I lock the door and sit down on my bed and that's when I let it all out. I start crying and when I start it takes a while for me to calm down. Thank god no one is home or there would be loads of questions again. I log onto my Facebook and see that Paulie is not online yet. That drives me crazy because well after we fight we both do stupid stuff most of the time.

We self harm.

Both of us. Only for me its just scratches and for her its so much more. She has been at it for ages. Three and half years to be exact. She tried taking her life last year and she used to hide from me. But now I know about every single one of them. And she knows about every single one of mine. 

I was so worried I just had to call her but since she has no phone now because her one broke I had to dial her mom's number. "Janey?" her mum asks and I reply quickly saying its me. "I'll call Paula now." She replies and I thank her. "What?" she asks and I sigh. "Weird you're not on Facebook yet." I mumble. "I am. I just texted you." She says and I sign. There is silence for a while until I suddenly sniffle. "Don't cry Janey. I told you million of times before I am not someone worth crying over. "She states and I smile slightly. "You're. " I reply and she stays silent. 'Anyway let's talk on Facebook. I think my mum suspected something."She says and I silently hang up and reply to her on Facebook. 

I don't know what's going on with me any more. I can be excited and happy one minute and then another minute I am ready to shoot someone without flinching. I am so tired of being like this. I feel guilty for hitting and yelling at my best friend. I feel worthless for not being his one and only. I feel stupid for always picking guys who would never in life pick me. 

I had to watch the guy I love being with someone else, I had to go through him teasing me about how I look, I had to go through him admitting he loves my best friend, I had to go through him rejecting me and telling all our conversations to everybody, And most of all I had to see him being happy with my best friend. I had to watch her giving him something I couldn't. 

Just because I am me. 

 

 

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