Camp Truidine

The epic comedy, Camp Truidine (Troo-ih-deen) is a novel about a semi mentally unstable goofball named Maezee who finally decides to get back at her school with a massive prank. After pulling the prank she is punished by her mother and is sent to a correctional camp, Camp Truidine. At the camp she meets a special love interest, but he is not what you might think he is. Trouble brews in the camp with cliques that are trying to become rulers once and for all. Maezee in her friends have to work together to stop this madness and bring forth the real leader of the camp, Truidine.

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2. The Night of the Plan

Just moments had passed by after miss Minerva had told Maezee good night, she hopped out of bed and approached her door. She heard a massive snoring noise and plopped right back on to her bed.  She laid there for several minutes thinking of what would happen if she was caught by Minerva trying to sneak out. She had forgotten about the school prank and realized that she only had two days to pull it off. Maezee needed to somehow find a way to wake up Walter and have him plan something miraculous with his ingenious mind. Although a dumb redneck, Walter was probably the smartest fellow in Slugbottom. His parents let him go and do whatever the heck he wanted to do, which sometimes got him into quite a heap of trouble.  He had always been a great friend to Maezee though.

            Once Maezee built up the courage to try to escape again, she walked towards the door again and stopped while thinking that maybe it would be easier if she climbed out of the window. She opened the archaic window and felt the early summer air. Minerva had horrible hearing so there was nothing to worry about. Maezee gently closed the window which made a loud creaking noise. She thought , “Well, what could she to do me? Minny is just an old lady.” Down and out of the second story bedroom window, clinging onto each rough brick as she maneuvered her way down the old house. Minerva took so much pride in her home which had been there before she had been alive. Maezee made it down easily and unlatched the backyard fence gate and walked quickly to the brick street. She began to walk down Possum Street whenever she heard something in the bushes. She dismissed the noise as an animal or something and went along her way.  Maezee knew the streets like the back of her hand and was never wrong with directions. Down the old tattered streets she walked for some time until she stopped at a small grey house that could be featured in a horror movie. It was Walter’s house. One of kind it truly was, too pretty for a redneck home, but too old to be a pretty home.  It had two stories and a broken in wrap around porch.  He had one of the nicer houses in Slugbottom, but over the years, it became dilapidated which caused much conversation among the elders.  Slugbottom used to be a booming town with many attractions and fun stuff for kids and adults, but now it is just trash. Complete trash. Maezee knew where Walter’s window was and went to the side of the house where it was. She picked up the biggest rock in sight and hurled in at the boy’s window. A big crash rang out through the quiet street. No worries about waking anyone else besides Walter, because his mom was deaf and his dad was blind and deaf. “What in tarnation?!” hollered Walter, racing towards the broken window.  “What do you think you’re doing? This is insane Maezee!” “Shut up, pencil neck! You’ve got to help me with my prank right now!”, said Maezee with her finger in his face.  “Well ok, let’s go to my laboratory. I’ll meet you around back, follow me.” Maezee walked around into the back yard and he was already waiting at the large plastic shed in the yard. “Come here Maezee!”  Maezee ran to him and asked what he was doing.  He didn’t answer and began to punch in a combination on a keypad attatched to the side of the shed.  The code was “1234”. How predictable of Walter to use a code that simple.  Almost instantaneously after Walter typed in the code, a large rumbling broke out.  He opened the shed and the floor was shaping into a staircase.  They proceeded down into the smelly and damp laboratory.  Maezee had never heard of anything like this and was amazed.  “How did you create this Walter?”, she asked with a curious voice.  “Remember, my parents are deaf and blind, so I can do pretty much anything!”  “This laboratory took me quite sometime to build, it is state of the art.  I might seem crazy, but I really needed a place to go and hide while I plan my malicious pranks. You are the first person to come into my lab.” Replied Walter. “What an honor,” said Maezee.  They continued down the dark staircase until reached a metal door with a large metal twisty door opener.  Walter rotated it with much force and once the door opened, white smoke rolled out from inside of the room.  “Come on in.” laughed Walter.  She walked in and saw a network of computers and TVs.  “Wow!”, she exclaimed while walking over to touch a brown organic material that smelled funny.  “No! Don’t touch that”, shouted Walter.  He jumped towards her and knocked it out of her hands.  “What was that for you jerk?!”, said Maezee.  “That is poop, don’t ever touch poop.” Maezee shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal. She was used to smelly substances.  She looked around and observed the dimly lit room and even saw some underwear on the floor. She quietly picked them up and placed them in her pocket and walked over to Walter who was typing something on the computer.  He was looking up large scale pranks to pull on the entire school.  Maezee already had an idea and stopped Walter.  “Call a goat farm in India,” she said.  “We will have 250 goats imported by the morning and release them into the school. My plan in infallible.” “B-but…”, he mumbled in confusement. “Shush fool! Now do what I said!”  He silently agreed and began looking up Indian goat farms.  He found one and shuffled towards the phone and waited for an answer. It rang and rang and rang and rang when finally an answer. “I need 250 goats by the morning in Slugbottom, Oklahoma. This is very serious and urgent.  Deliver them in a truck to 1343 S Possum Street.”  He hung up the phone and said to Maezee, “It is taken care of.” “Good,” she said. “You are marvelous.”

“Hey Walter?” Maezee said hesitantly while walking over to sit in one of his bean bags. “What Maezee?” “I found some of your underwear on the floor and I took them.” “What?!”, he said. “Um, how embarrassing haha.”  Walter rapidly mumbled whenever he was nervous or embarrassed “Well Walter, I must get going now. I’m staying at Minny’s house tonight.” “Have a safe trip home Maezee,” said Walter.  Maezee smiled. 

            She walked back up the stairs and exited the shed.  Through the patchy grass she walked, she saw Walter’s little brother standing right in front of her.  She screamed and ran away from him because he is very scary and weird.  She walked down Possum Street and thought of why Walter was so smart in a town of dummies.  As she continued walking down the quiet street, she once again heard a noise in the bushes, but still ignored it. And then heard it again, frustrated she yelled into the night saying, “Who’s there? Come out.” No answer.  She continued walking maybe for 100 yards when she heard a “BAH!” coming from behind her. Maezee quickly whipped her head around and what stood before her astonished her. It was the six foot midget!  As he ran towards her, Maezee went into crazy mode and picked up a nearby stick and stabbed him in the arm as he lunged at her. This stunned the midget and he stood in place grabbed his arm momentarily and then continued to chase her. He was even angrier than before. Still running for her life, Maezee was almost to Minerva’s house. Running out of breath, she made a quick moved and jumped into a drainage ditch and scratched her knee quite badly. The Possom Street midget didn’t see her and kept running, but suddenly turned back and bent over and began to sniff the area. He made funny grunting noises that a pig would make. He approached the drainage ditch and Maezee was unaware that he was still on her trail.  “Got you!”, he shouted while grabbing at her.  He had ahold of her shirt and Maezee began to struggle to break free. She remembered Walter’s underwear in her pocket and figured that their stench would scare away the midget. He screamed in agony for a moment, allowing just enough time for Maezee to escape.

             Minerva’s house was only two houses down. She sprinted to the house and ran through the front door. “Minny, Minny,” she shouted, racing into her bedroom door. “The midget is here, the midget is here and he’s been chasing me.” Minerva sat straight up in her bed and squinted her eyes in anger, “I knew he would come back!” Minny darted for her closet door, slipping on her mud boots and removing a mirror on the back wall. Behind the mirror was a small room filled with guns. She pulled her shotgun out and said, “I’m going to end this once and for all!” She raced for the door in her little nightgown, still having her hair curlers in. She spotted the midget, but quickly lost view of him. She hunched over with the gun pointed out and rotated in a circle. “Where are you?” , she said. Moments later, she heard him running on the brick street and within seconds she slung that gun around and fired! Again and again! Loud bangs rattled the windows of each house. Maezee didn’t know that Minny had been a sniper in the military. Maezee caught up and hugged Minerva. “That’s how you kill a midget,” said Minerva with a malicious look. She let out a big evil laugh, “MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”. “Let’s go back to the house and I’ll make you some melted butter juice,” she said while putting her arm around Maezee.

            Maezee was very startled but was extremely excited to see the midget that Minny always talked about. “Thanks Peaches!” she said sitting herself on the couch. “Don’t worry about it kiddo, I’ve been waiting for this day for twenty long years! No stupid giant midget gets the best of this grandma!” They decided to stay up because they were both so startled. They drank coffee and played backgammon for a while. Whenever Maezee tried to explain why she had snuck out, Minerva told her that it doesn’t matter, and that if she hadn’t have snuck out, she couldn’t have gotten the chance to kill her worst enemy. Maezee finally decided to go to sleep, but Minny stayed awake and worked on her knitting. She was the best knitter in town and her work was coveted by all.

            Minerva had warned her neighbors about the midget, but no one took her seriously and dismissed her as a senile old woman who wants to cause an uproar amongst the town. Now she had proof that what she saw was truly a giant midget. She called the police station the next morning and told them what had taken place. She rubbed it in to basically show them that she’s not insane. She told them where the body was and they had no case against her so she wasn’t charged. It was pure self defense. She and Maezee both knew that the story would circulate throughout the small town very quickly and Minny would become a hero. 

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