Camp Truidine

The epic comedy, Camp Truidine (Troo-ih-deen) is a novel about a semi mentally unstable goofball named Maezee who finally decides to get back at her school with a massive prank. After pulling the prank she is punished by her mother and is sent to a correctional camp, Camp Truidine. At the camp she meets a special love interest, but he is not what you might think he is. Trouble brews in the camp with cliques that are trying to become rulers once and for all. Maezee in her friends have to work together to stop this madness and bring forth the real leader of the camp, Truidine.


3. The Day of the Prank

Five large semi-trucks backed up into the parking lot of Rat University, their sounds engulfed by the squealing of goats. “Back it up! Back it up! Right… here!” , shouted Maezee while wearing a hard hat.  Walter stood right next to her with a pen, jotting something down on a clipboard. “Um, Maezee?” , he said quietly, “This must be a double order. I think that they gave us 500 goats instead of 250!” “Excellent”, she yelled. “Haha! Even better!”

            Student were pushing and shoving each other while trying to get a peak out of the window. Each window down the entire front of the complex was massed with kids trying to get a better look.  No one was suspicious at first and just thought that it was a delivery for the school, until each truck was backed up towards the doors. Suddenly everything grew silent. Quieter than a church mouse. The silence was broken by a rumbling coming from inside of the trucks. It was the goats; they were ready.  “Teen, do, ek!”, shouted one of the Indian truck drivers whenever the back of the trucks burst off and hit the ground with a large and thunderous roar.  Sounds of goats were obnoxiously unnoticeable by the ears of all nearby as they charged towards the from doors.  Walter had laid some goat feed in the main hallway and that’s exactly where the goats ran to.  The office secretary screamed, “Goats!” and ran around in a panic before plopping down underneath her desk.  A group of 1st graders were returning from gym class when they all saw the goats. Some laughed and some cried.  The fat teacher, Mrs. Hilda used a child as a human shield as she ran for the safety of her classroom.  The class was divided in terror. Some followed their teacher, some pet the goats only to find that they were not very friendly and got chased down the hallways all the way into the gym.  The gym floor had just been polished and four goats tried to run on it while chasing three kids.  They couldn’t move and when they tried, they only could run in place and then would eventually trip and fall which caused much laughter amongst the kids.

            Maezee and Walter observed the commotion from outside of the doors and were greatly enjoying it. “Walter, you did good. You did really good,” Maezee said with her hands on her hips, patting him on the back. Walter smiled. “We better get out of here now,” spoke Walter with a grin. “I agree, let’s go!”

            Once the goats were finished eating, they all scattered in every direction, even up.  They began to pee on themselves and each other and some even got into battles with the horns on their heads. 

            Unaware of what was going on, Jewish McColley walked down the hallway to use the bathroom, flipping her hair with her hand, she tripped because of her 5 inch high-heels that her daddy bought her for her birthday.  She let out a scream which got the attention of a nearby goat all by himself.  He stood a mere 2 feet from her face and tilted his head in curiosity.  He was one of the friendly goats it seemed. “What are goats doing in here?! Gross!” Jewish shouted. She took her heels off and began to slide on her legs away from the goat.  He still stood there, just looking at her awkwardly. Moments went by when suddenly the goat inched towards her and lifted his leg and released a massive spray of urine, soaking Jewish once again. “No!!” Jewish shouted, standing up, still with one shoe on.  She aimed her foot straight at the goats stomach and hurled her foot at him and kicked his side.  He let out a cry and wanted to chase her, but she had already ran back to her classroom.

            She busted into the door and said ,”Goats are loose in the school and one peed all over me!!!!” The class, even the teacher were dumbfounded, but still laughing unbearably. “Ew, you stink Jewish!”, said EBLBTQQ Toxqui, pointing her finger at Jewish.

            EBLBTQQ Toxqui is a largely shaped girl with a very annoying voice.  Her name is abbreviated because it is so long.  It stands for Eshawana Bu’fandre L’quisha Bonisha Tishadela Que-Quandrea. So everyone just called her “Ebble bee tee Q Q”.

            Jewish went home and explained what had happened to her clothes to her dad.  Her dad immediately picked up his phone and called the police and told them of the goats running loose in Rat University.

            The McColley family was not a family of rednecks, but a family of aristocrats.  Too rich to live in a town like Slugbottom.

            Maezee and Walter darted for the nearby forest and made their way to their hiding place.  The hiding place is just a small fort composed of 5 logs and some candy. “What are we going to do if we get caught?” asked Walter. Maezee waited for a moment with a squint in her eyes and replied, “If we get caught, you’re going down with me.” She heard a gulping sound coming from Walter.  He sat there trembling with fear of the consequences of their actions.  Walter began to speak when a police siren, just barely audible went off. “Crap, the police are here to arrest us and throw us in prison and and and and.” Smack! Maezee slapped Walter right in the face and said, “Don’t you dare mister! No one will ever catch me, dead or alive I tell you!” “Yes mam.”, he said.

            The police had arrived and investigated the scene. “Call animal control,” said one of the officers into a radio while wrapping police tape around the brick pillars. Within minutes the animal control company had arrived and had to tranquilize all of the feral goats to get them back in to the trucks.  With the truck drivers in handcuffs, one of them tried to escape the cop’s hold and was quickly thrown to the damp ground and was tased.  He wiggled and squirmed on the floor until the cop let off of the trigger. “Wanna try that again?”, yelled the cop.  The truck driver couldn’t even speak and was viciously thrown like a sack of flower into the back seat of the police car.

            The police investigators entered the office of Mr. Jaguar and interrogated him on who could be a likely suspect. Mr. Jaguar knew exactly who it was. “Maezee Kassanunun and Walter Maguonavich.” , he said while looking like he was about the pop a blood vessel on his forehead. “Calm down old man,” said one of the investigators. “We are here to find who did this and that’s all.” Mr. Jaguar sighed and said, “Check the woods.”

            Out in the parking lot, a team of search dogs and police officers had been assembled.  The dogs were lunging forward and the officers had to restrain them.  “On your mark, get set, go!” The dogs, along with the officers attempting to keep up ran to the forest.  Running through brush and branches; thorns and trees, they looked for hours in every corner of the woods, but had no luck.

            “Let’s split up,” said the lead officer.  They were told to split up individually, but some grouped up together.  Four officers, tired and hungry wandered through the forest, joking and laughing about how miserable their jobs were, heard some movement in the leaves. It was Maezee and Walter.

            Maezee pinned Walter with her arm to the back of the log wall. “Be quiet you little peasant!”, she yelled when suddenly an officer turned his head quickly almost 180 degrees. “I heard something.”, he said while the other officer followed him.  Maezee and Walter quit breathing. Maezee grabbed Walter’s shirt and slowly and quietly stood half way up and almost started to run when the officer shouted, “Got you!”


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