Growing Up Crazy: A Batman Fanfiction {Book V in the Kids of Gotham Series}

It ain't easy being the kid of a crazy person, and nobody can tell you why better than the kids of Gotham. {Batman X Catwoman, Joker X Harley, Poison Ivy X Two Face, Baby Doll X Killer Croc, OCs. Rated Y for mild language and violence, mainly in later chapters as the children get older. Some Superman (Lois X Clark/Superman, Lex Luthor X Mercy) incorporated}


1. Prologue


Baxter Thomas Wayne, twelve years old, sat in the Batcave. He stared up at the computer screen in wonder. His parents weren't home, probably busy doing Batman and Catwoman stuff. Dick and Babs were off on a date, and Tim was too busy womanizing to come hang out. The only thing keeping him from doing anything was the aging Alfred, and he'd been trusting Baxter more and more lately. This would ruin it. But he couldn't help it.

He needed to know what his parents were up to.

Baxter's fingers danced nimbly along the keys, entering the password his father had revealed to him one night - MARTHA-WAYNE. Sure enough, the file his father had been working on earlier popped up.

NAME: Jessica Theresa Quinzell Nicholson
PREF: Jess Ter Quinn Niche
DOB: April 1st, 1999 - 10 years old
PARENTS: Harleen Quinzell and the Joker
FIRST REGISTERED CRIME: November 1st, 2009 - Bank Robbery
ON CASE: Batman
SIBLINGS: Jessica Moira Quinzell, twin sister

Ah, so his father was tracking down a girl two years younger than he. Of course he'd been told about the Joker, he was one of the horror stories that made Baxter too afraid to leave the house. He didn't know, however, that the Joker had a daughter.

The picture caught Baxter's attention.

The girl had long, straight blonde hair and blue eyes that twinkled as if she was laughing. Her face was a lot like that of her mother's, but her smile was slightly reminiscent of her father's.

Jess was quite pretty for a ten-year-old aspiring crime queen.


Jessica Theresa Quinzell Nicholson, ten and a half years old, proudly held the large bag of money potato sack style over her shoulder. She smirked. There was no sign of the Batman, and the police hadn't caught up with her.

Don't get her wrong, Jess was far from a bad person. She had just been raised to commit this first crime. She'd been raised to rob the Bank of Gotham as a right of initiation when she was ten and a half years old, and she was determined to do it right.

She'd never been told she had a twin sister.

Suddenly, she crashed into another girl head-on. Both girls fell back, landing painfully on their rear ends. Jess lost her grip on the bag of money, and it burst as soon as it hit the cement.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?" Jess snapped, hurriedly picking up pieces of money and stuffing them into her pockets.

"I-I'm sorry . . ." the other girl replied quietly. Jess rolled her eyes and looked up, finally getting a good look at the girl that had knocked her down.

They were totally identical.

"It's alright, I guess." Jess replied. The money forgotten, she helped the other girl up. "On my birth certificate, it says Jessica Theresa Quinzell Nicholson, but that's too long for me, so I shorten it to Jess Ter Quinn Niche. Jess Ter, not Jester. You got a name?"

"Hey, my name's Jessica too!" the other girl smiled.

Jess studied Jessica for a moment before reaching a conclusion. "Jessica, I think we're sisters." she announced.

Jessica looked Jess up and down. "I think you might be right."


Deux Forest Isley Dent had just turned ten, and his mother was making him work in the garden again.

He understood that the plants were important to his mother, but in all honesty he didn't care much for gardening. His mother didn't understand him all that much. She didn't understand that Deux much preferred the thrill of chance to the boring turmoil of working in the dirt.

His father understood, though, and he would join his dad soon enough. He'd probably ask his mother if he could live with his father permanently after this visit, but he didn't want to hurt her seemingly indestructible feelings - his little sister or brother would be born in April.

The on-and-off relationship was very exhausting.

"Deux, it's time to go to the docks to meet your father." Poison Ivy announced, appearing out of the doorway. "I'll take over." she looked to her plants longingly.

"Okay!" Deux replied eagerly, jumping up and sprinting for the car his chauffeur waited for him in.


Alice Harriet Kingsley-Tetch, fifteen years old, was sometimes known as the March Hare, and her brother Chesire Catticus Kingley-Tetch, ten, was sometimes the Cheshire Cat. Truly, it depended on who you are.

Alice's blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail so it wouldn't get caught in anything. She pulled out a slightly tattered book. "I got it, Ch." she announced, tossing her brother the book.

"Al, you're a lifesaver." Chesire sighed, hugging the book close. "Dad would've killed me if I never got it back."

"You're lucky I don't kill you now. What did you do to make Max Luthor so mad, anyway? He knows how important that book is..." she plucked it from her younger brother's grasp, revealing it to be their adopted dad's old copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

"How'd you convince him to give it back?"

"I'll tell you some other time, all right?"

"All right."


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