Falling down.

She wants you to see her smile, she wants you to see her laugh, she doesn't want you to see her in pain. Can it really be that someone could be in such pain because of one little thing that got out away from someones lips? Could one life be torn apart because of a mistake that everyone knows about? Could you save her, before its too late?


2. behind her disguise

Madeline regretted 2012 so bad, she didn't know whether to move to Melbourne with her dad or stay in Canberra with her mum. Everyday she would walk into the school with everyone staring at her, with Aubrey yelling out names and Tate's voice in her head, but she stayed strong at school, she had to, she wasn't going to let everyone know that they have won, she wanted a chance so win for once. 

Everyday after school, she would walk home and run straight to her room, she would lock her bedroom door and pull out the knife holding it to her neck, but there was always something holding her back... Tate, instead she would put down the knife and pick up the blade and cut her arms till she was unable to take the pain or see the blood drip down.

"Madeline" I woke up looking at who was trying to wake me up, it was my mum Scarlett. I got up and she noticed the blood on my bed, "what's that Maddie?" She asked puzzled but staring at it, "Oh.. umm.. I must of had a nose bleed lastnight." I quickly lied, mum doesn't know about my cutting or suicidal attempts, well really.. no one does but me and you. Mum put down my clothes that i wore when Tate died, "Why are you putting them there....?" i asked worried, everything was just rushing through my head, every worst possible thing that i could think of at that time. "Tate's memorial service is today, don't you remember? Mum told me as she was walking out of my room.

I got out of my room, had a showered, put on my black dress, put on some make up and put on a jumper to hide my cuts. "Why are you wearing that jumper?" Mum asked looking me up and down, "I'm a bit cold mum" i lied and walked out to the car. It took at least 2 hours to get to Tate's mums new house, after Tate died his mum moved away from his dad because of the pain. Tate looked so much like his dad, it actually hurts looking at his dad.


"So i think we all know why we are here today" Tate's mum said to everyone who was there. 3 hours went past with everyone saying how much they missed Tate and why did god take him away from us, finally it was my turn.. i regretted this part, but i promised his mum the whole truth on why he killed himself. "Madeline, would like to tell everyone about why Tate committed suicide, i got up from my seat and made my way to the front, i looked at all the sad faces, all the red eyes, everyone waiting to know why he left.

" 2012 wasn't such a good year" I started, " actually for both of us..." I told everyone, "It was summer, we were at the beach but it went wrong, a man turned up at the beach with a gun and tried to shot Tate's brother Noah, everyone ran even Noah, so it was just Tate, Aubrey and I, we ran to Aubrey's house and dropped her off, we then walked back to Tates.. I've been his best friend since daycare so i could tell he was upset, i lent over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.. He kissed me back but it was on the lips, after that things got hot and heavy, but what we both didn't know was several days before that happened Aubrey left her camera in his room." I paused trying not to cry or some any sign of it. "5 days later, Aubrey and I went to Tates, as he was getting drinks Aubrey found her camera in his bookshelf, i saw that it was turned on... i got really worried. 6 days after that Tate and i walked into the school with everyone staring at us, a girl came up to us and showed us the video of what Tate and I got up to that night after running away from the man with the gun, i ran to Aubrey's, she was crying, she yelled at me telling she did it, she uploaded the video. Tate started to get bullied, it got really bad, so he ended it all." I finished, i walked off and walked all the way to the car without saying goodbye to anyone.

It was 3:15am, i couldn't sleep, all i could think of was Tate hanging or stabbing him, i held the knife in my hand. "Do it, no one will cry, everyone hates you and its been proven already" A voice that sounded so much like Aubrey's kept replying in my head telling me to kill myself. I held the knife to my arm, "1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4, 5 cut, 6 cut, 7 more." I whisper while cutting, after a while I walked out to the kitchen, thankfully mum was sleep, i went to where the pills were, i took two full packs and swallowed them all, 20 tablets sitting inside of her, she started to walk to her room but fainted. Her mother heard a big bang and rushed to see what it was. "Madeline!!!" she called an ambulance, and that morning Madeline was saved. 

By the time Madeline was able to go back to school everyone had already heard, things had gotten worse.. much worse... She ran to the bathroom and sat and cried. "Things will get better when i can actually have the guts to leave this world." Madeline whispered to herself and walked out to her first class.

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