The Daily Prophet

I DO NOT OWN THIS STORY!! this is about all of the daily prophet paper clippings in the books I have just copied them out because if you are like me you will just love to go through and read all of the papers thanksXX

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3. The Order Of The Phoenix part three!

The mysterious decision.

MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST EVER HIGH INGUISITOR!

In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time." said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. "He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction the do not approve of."

This is not the first time in recent weeks that the Minister, Cornelius Fudge, has used new laws to effect improvements at the Wizarding school. as recently 30th of August, Educational Decree Number Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person.

"That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts," said Weasley last night. "Dumbledore couldn't find anyone so the Minister put Umbridge, and of course, she's been an immediate success, totally revolutionising the teaching of Defence Against The Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts."

It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalised with the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three which creates the new position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor.

"This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some are calling the falling standards at Hogwarts," said Weasley. "The inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post and we are delighted to say that she has accepted."

"The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts."

"I feel much easier in my mind now that I know Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation," said Mr Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. "Many of us with our children's best interest at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and are glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation."

"Among those eccentric decisions are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the employment of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid and delusional ex-Auror, "Mad-Eye" Moody.

Rumours abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.

" I think the appointment of the High Inquisitor is a first step towards ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose our confidence," said a Ministry insider last night.

Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor at Hogwarts.

"Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office," said Madam Marchbanks. "This is a further disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore."

Educational Decree Number twenty-four.

BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS

All student organisations,societies,teams,groups, and clubs are henceforth disbanded.

An organisation,society,team,group or club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or more students.

Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge).

No student organisation,society,team,group or club may exist without the knowledge and approval of the High Inquisitor.

Any student found to have formed, or belong to, an organisation,society,team,group or club that has not been approved by the High Inquisitor will be expelled.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-four.

Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor

The song of Ronald Weasley.

Weasley cannot save a thing

He cannot block a single ring

That's why Slytherins all sing:

Weasley is our King

Weasley was born in a bin

He always lets the Quaffle in

Weasley will make sure we win

Weasley is our King

Weasley is our King

Weasley is our King

He always lets the Quaffle in

Weasley is our King

Weasley cannot save a thing

He cannot block a single ring

WEASLEY WAS BORN IN A BIN

HE ALWAYS LETS THE QUAFFLE IN

WEASLEY WILL MAKE SURE WE WIN

WEASLEY IS OUR KING

WEASLEY IS OUR KING

WEASLEY IS OUR KING

WEASLEY WAS BORN IN A BIN

WEASLEY CANNOT SAVE A SINGLE THING

THAT'S WHY SLYTHERINS ALL SING

WEASLEY IS OUR KING

WEASLEY WAS BORN IN A BIN

HE ALWAYS LETS THE QUAFFLE IN

WEASLEY WILL MAKE SURE WE WIN...

A new piece of information

Dilys Derwent

St Mungo's Healer 1722-1741

Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

1741-1768

At St Mungo's

ARTEFACT ACCIDENTS...........Ground floor

Cauldron explosion, wand backfiring, broom crashes, ect.

CREATURE-INDUCED INJURIES...........First floor

Bites, stings, burns, embedded spines, ect.

MAGICAL BUGS...........Second floor

Contagious maladies, e.g. dragon pox, vanishing sickness, scrofungulus, ect.

POTION AND PLANT POISONING...............Third floor

Rashes, regurgitation, uncontrollable giggling, ect.

SPELL DAMAGE..............Fourth floor

Unliftable jinxes, hexes, incorrectly applied charms, ect.

VISITORS' TEAROOM/ HOSPITAL SHOP.........Fifth floor

IF YOU ARE UNSURE WHERE TO GO, INCAPABLE OF NORMAL SPEECH OR UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE HERE, OUR WELCOMEWITCH WILL BE PLEASED TO HELP.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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