Shattered (Harry Styles FanFiction)

Francesca is Harry's number one fan. Being a host of his own show, he's got all the charms and smiles, and it seems Francesca has fallen completely under his spell. But what lies behind those smiles and cheesy quotes of some random movies, is a dark trait that has been covered up behind those seemingly innocent emerald eyes. Can Francesca be strong enough or will her knees buckle up and make her leave Harry's life -- for good?

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4. Shattered IV

Chapter 4:

 

It's over now. Nothing can be done. He's dead. Because of me. Why hadn't I just told him to hide under the bed? This is all my fault.

I kept on crying as I watched his pale face. I wanted to know him as a new person and all I get is a dead Harry. 

I stood up and took out my phone and dialed 911. It was only just the first ring when someone grabbed the phone from me.

"God damn it, Cessa. I'm not dead." 

I stare at Harry. He's not dead. He's never been dead or hurt.

Harry laughs. "You should have seen the look on your face! Boohoo, Harry's dead!" He kept on laughing as I turned beet red. "You jerk!" I said and slapped him. He looked shock.

"I hate you I hate you I hate you! That wasn't funny! You're freaking sick, you know that? I hate you!" I sobbed as I hit his chest over and over again.

"No you don't. You have got to be strong at times like these. Not cry your freaking eyes out." His voice was even and clear. "Strong? How could I be strong when-" I stopped. "When what, Francesca?" He had been holding both my hands using only his one hand so I wouldn't hit him again. His green eyes try to find something in mine but I didn't look at him. 

I don't want him to see a weakness in me. Not now, not ever. But i'm being just that. Weak. And pathetic.

"You were trying to make me strong, huh? All I feel like is a joke to you. Ha ha look at her she's crying because she thought she had killed her friend. Now she's probably going to kill herself for it." I spat out. I was still crying but it wasn't close to sadness. It was just anger and embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry okay? I just wanted you to be strong. It was just a joke okay?" He shook my body and stared at me in such an urgent way that I couldn't look away. He looked guilty. Guilty as hell.

"It's just a joke." He repeats and hugged me. He buried his face against my neck. Our heights were a contrast. "I'll be here. I promise." he said. We stayed like that for a while. I could hear his heartbeat and smell his scent. He smells like bread and candy and grass after rain.

"Come on." he said and pulled away from me. I wished we'd hug longer. He holds his hand out and smiles. "Let's go for a walk."

I take his hand and we walked towards the street. There are no cars passing by and only the streetlights showed the way and kept us from straying into the dark. "So, Cessa. What happened when I left?" he asked; glancing at me.

"My mom wanted me to promise her that I won't smoke again. All I said was that I was sorry. Because I can't stop smoking. I just can't." I whispered; feeling down again after remembering the incident. 

"Why?" he asked for the second time. "I'm still not going to tell you." I said; making my decision.

"Okay then. Come on, I gotta show you something." he says and started running. I stay rooted to my place. "Where are you going?" I call out as I jog after him. "You'll see." he says. After a few minutes of running, I'm already feeling tired. 

My breath comes out in gasps. Harry stops and turns to me. "Are you alright?" he asks and puts a hand on my shoulder. "I'm just tired." I simply said. "It's just around the corner. Come on." he takes my hand and we jog again for the next minute. 

When I couldn't jog, we decided to just walk.

"Here it is." he lets go of my hand and held out his arms as if this was his house. But it's not. I take a good look around the place and realized it was a train railroad. I was confused on why we were here. But before I could ask, Harry walked back towards me.

"Are you sure you're not going to tell me?" 

I shook my head.

"Not even a clue?"

"Nope."

"Okay." 

He turns around and walked towards the railroad and sits in the middle of the track. I gasped.

"Harry, Harry get off the railroad!" I said. "But there's no train. Relax!" 

Suddenly a train headlights appeared in the corner of my eye. I shrieked.

"Harry GET OFF!" I shrieked. I tugged on his hand but he didn't budge a centimeter. 

The train's getting closer. "Not until you tell me." he said. "No!!"

"Then i'm staying here."

"But you're going to get yourself killed! God damn Harry please. Don't do this to me."

"I won't, if you tell me."

"I'm still saying no." I crossed my arms. But my hands were shaking. The train's driver has started to honk at us. Twice.

"Goodbye, Cessa." he whispered. 

"Okay fine! It was because I needed to stop cutting and smoking is the only thing that could keep me from cutting!" I shrieked. "Get off the railroad!" I shrieked. But it was too late. I closed my eyes and started to cry. 

"You have got to be strong at times like these. Not cry your freaking eyes out."

How could I not cry, you bastard? I screamed and cried and screamed and cried. I couldn't look at what has happened to Harry. I just can't.

I was on the ground bawling my eyes out. I was hysterical. 

A pair of strong hands hugged me. I opened my eyes and see Harry's eyes. His forehead's on mine and his breathing was even and calm.

"I need you to be strong." was all he said. "Promise me you'll be strong." he said. I had started to breath properly and tears had stop flowing out. I nod slowly. "Say it!" he yells at my face.

"I promise." I say and try to keep the tears from flowing out. He leans in and kissed me full on the lips. Harry pulls away and hugged me again.

"You just need to be strong." he whispered.

 

 

 

 

We spend the next few hours lying on the railroad -- and occasionally running off when the trains come by now and then -- with my head on his stomach. Harry'd take the cigarette out and we'd take turns smoking it. "My Mom used to tell me that the stars up there represent each deserving life that has gone up to be a star in the night sky." Harry said; breaking the silence.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah. One day, i'm going to see you up there smiling down at me."

 

"You think I'd deserve it?" I turn to face him. He takes one quick drag and smiles at me in a meaningful way. 

 

"With all my heart."

 

 

 

 

 

Harry's P.O.V:

 

 

That morning, I sat on the couch at the living room, looking but not seeing the television. I had stayed up after walking Cessa to her house. There is so much on my mind right now. All that's happened and all my feelings scrunched up. 

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Mom in front of me. "Harry?" she said; waving her hand in front of me. I snapped to attention. 

"I'm sorry, what?" 

"Where did you go last night? I was awake in my room and you didn't do such a good job in sneaking out of the house." she said. I looked at her and felt relieved to see that she didn't look angry. At all.

"Just went out for a walk. That's all." 

I could see her assessing me from the corner  of my eyes, but she didn't say anything about it if she doubted my words. 

"Okay then. I trust you. I have to go out to go grocery shopping. Do you want to come along?" she asked as she stands up. I shook my head. "Okay, Harry." she said and opened the front door. 

"Love you, Mom." I call out. "Love you too Harry." I could hear her smile in her voice as she left. 

I stand and went up the stairs three at a time and went into my room. Closing the door, I walked around my room; thinking. I've already got my next 'number girl' but why do I feel so...

Bad?

I mean, it's just Cessa right? It has just been one day of knowing her. It's not like i'm falling in love with her at such a short time. Right?

I walked to my abandoned study table and opened the drawer that held my book of lists of girls. 

I sit down, open the book to a new page and stare at the blank column. I was already holding a pen. All I need to do is write down her name. 

But why does it feel so hard? I held my breath and write down her name in a mess. There. 

That's all Harry. You've got her. Francesca Angelo. You're going to leave her heartbroken soon. And that's alright, because she's just another 'number girl' right?

 

But she's not. She's not just a number girl and she never will be. 

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