Recovery

Four years ago, at seventeen years old, Katrina Burke was madly in love. Until her relationship with eighteen year old Justin Bieber became abusive. Not even a year later, at eighteen years old, Katrina ran. At first she'd thought it was a good idea, but when she found out she was pregnant with Justin's child, her life became even more troubled and twisted. Now, at twenty-one, Katrina's life is good. She has a great job, a nice place to stay, and a beautiful three year old daughter named Camryn. Everything is perfect until a certain someone comes into her life again, ready to show her how much he's changed.
© 2013 by beliebervision & SoccerBieber18. All Rights Reserved.

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5. Chapter 4

"Is Justin coming home with us?" Camryn asked from the back. "I want him to come home with us." 

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Justin looked at me. "I don't know, hun. I think he wants to go home." 

"No, I really don't." he said. I turned to glare at him and he smirked. I heard Camryn laugh from behind me. 

"Yay!" she squealed. 

Justin turned around and started talking to her. I tightened my grip on the wheel and started to count to ten. Almost home. Almost home. We're almost home.

What felt like hours later, which really was only minutes, I finally pulled the car into the driveway and took the keys out of the ignition. I quickly unbuckled, got out, and went around to Camryn's side to get her out. Once I did, I locked the car and turned to Justin. 

He was looking at the house. I frowned. "Come on." 

I set Camryn down when we got inside and she immediately ran to her room to play. Well, I guess she forgot about her new best friend. I sighed and went into the kitchen, setting my keys down on the counter. Justin followed. 

"Want anything?" I asked as I opened the fridge. He shook his head and sat down on a bar stool around the island. I grabbed a water and sat down on the opposite end of the island. I took a sip, set it down, then looked over at Justin. 

He looked at me. "Is this your place?" 

"No, I just come here with my kid every day after work for no reason." I said sarcastically and took another sip of my water. 

Justin didn't make a sarcastic remark like I thought he would. "Oh, okay." 

I frowned again. "I'm sorry." 

He looked up. "No, it's okay. You have every right to avoid my questions." 

"Well," I said. "I am being unfair. Just ask me something and I promise I'll give you an honest answer." 

"Okay..." he thought for a moment, then locked eyes with me. "It takes two to make a third, right?" 

I nod, suddenly suspicious of where he's going with his question. 

Justin took a deep breath. "I'm her dad, aren't I?" 

I kept my gaze on him for a moment, then rubbed my face. I got up from my seat. "That's one question that I am not willing to talk about right now." 

"You said you'd give an honest answer." he said quietly. 

I glared at him. "Not to that!" 

"Answer it, Kat." 

"Justin," I walked over to him and he turned on the chair so he was facing me. "I know you just started work today--" 

"I didn't, actually." he pointed out. I furrowed my eyebrows with confusion. "I've been working in that building for almost three months now, you've just never noticed me. I've seen you around, though." 

"So," I said slowly. "You chose to avoid me?" 

"Yes, because I still felt guilty for what I did, Kat. I had no intention of talking to you again because I knew you had finally gotten away from me and I knew you were happy. But then I got moved to your department, and I had no choice but to talk to you." 

I frowned, my eyebrows still kneaded together. I shook my head. "No, no you're supposed to be this cold hearted guy with no soul." 

Justin looked at me with sad eyes. "I'm sorry." 

"Why?" Is all I could manage. I was so confused about it all. About Justin, about that horrible week of pushing and shoving. Why? Why has he changed? It's going to turn out like I hadn't planned on it turning out like. He's changed. He's the same person I fell in love with before...before what happened. 

"Kat," he said quietly. "Is she ours?" 

As I started to cry because I was so overwhelmed, I nodded. I brought my hand up to cover my mouth and continued to cry. I really didn't care at this point if he was watching or not. 

After a moment I wiped my eyes and looked at Justin again. He looked sad. I decided that just this once, I would go out of my comfort zone just to fix the both of us. It was a pretty emotional confession. 

I held my arms out. Justin looked confused for a minute, then realized, and pulled me in for a hug. I stood there for a long time, my arms around Justin, his arms around me. Then, I pulled away. I gave him a faint smile. My hands still rested on his shoulders and his were on my waist, I was standing in between his legs, and I didn't feel uncomfortable. For a second, I thought we were going to kiss, but we didn't. 

But, still, for some reason, I hated it. Every bit. 

Because I knew that this was the first step to our recovery. 

Kill me now. It'll be less pain than what Justin can inflict upon me. 

I sighed and looked down at him again. He took one hand off my waist and cupped my cheek. I leaned into him, suddenly comfortable. 

"Are you still hurt?" he asked quietly. I shrug. 

"I can't tell anymore." I answer, my voice as hushed as his. "Camryn makes me happy." 

Justin rested his forehead on mine. "See, this is why I avoided you. I knew you were happy, but I didn't know why." 

I thought for a moment. "She'd be happy with you here, but I couldn't have it happen." 

Justin didn't say anything, though I knew he agreed. After a moment of silence, he pulled away from me as if I just turned into something very warm or very cold. He didn't make eye contact with me. I knew what he was feeling.

"I, uh, gotta go." he scratched the back of his neck and stood up. I nodded. "I'll see you at work, okay?" 

I glanced at him, all of my warm feelings I had for him a moment ago were gone. "Okay."

He kept his gaze on me for a moment, then turned around and left. I started to wonder how far away he lived and felt bad that he had to walk. But, then again, he deserved to walk.

I sighed as I started regretting every little thing that happened in there.

Hugging him. Pouring out my feelings. And worst of all: letting him touch me. I willingly did something I promised I'd never do again.

The last time I let him touch me, I ended up bruised.

And he's bruised me again, just not physically.

I stood there in my little cloud of regret for a moment, and then called for Camryn. When she didn't answer, my senses snapped back to normal and I made my way to her room.

She was sleeping on the floor with her thumb in her mouth. I smiled faintly and then scooped her up and set her down in bed. I pulled the covers over her, kissed her forehead, and started to head out of the room--then I stopped.

I frowned. There was a drawing on the floor. I picked it up and carefully looked it over.

Me, Camryn, Justin.

Me, Camryn, Justin.

Me...Camryn...Justin

And underneath the three of us was a bunch of hearts. I almost smiled. It almost warmed my heart.

But almost is the key word.

I slowly ripped the drawing in half and shoved it neatly into the trash can. Then, I turned off the light and went upstairs to cry myself to sleep.

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