Recovery

Four years ago, at seventeen years old, Katrina Burke was madly in love. Until her relationship with eighteen year old Justin Bieber became abusive. Not even a year later, at eighteen years old, Katrina ran. At first she'd thought it was a good idea, but when she found out she was pregnant with Justin's child, her life became even more troubled and twisted. Now, at twenty-one, Katrina's life is good. She has a great job, a nice place to stay, and a beautiful three year old daughter named Camryn. Everything is perfect until a certain someone comes into her life again, ready to show her how much he's changed.
© 2013 by beliebervision & SoccerBieber18. All Rights Reserved.

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13. Chapter 12

Once we were home again, I sent Camryn to her room, but she had insisted on Justin putting her to bed so I let them do whatever and he tucked her in while I changed into more comfortable clothes. I was sitting on my bed when Justin knocked on the door frame. I looked up. 

"She okay?" I asked. He nodded. 

"Yep," he said quietly. "You okay?" 

"I'm fine." I answered, though I didn't know if I was or not. "Just...I don't know. That was scary...what happened to Cammy." 

"I know," Justin entered the room and came to sit next to me on the bed. I turned my head towards him and he gave me a grim smile. "Something like that will happen again in the future and I guess you just gotta be ready for it." 

I sighed. "But I wasn't ready for it this time. You'll probably be gone by the time it happens again--and then what? What would I do?" 

"Well," his voice was extra low. "You're her mom so you should have more faith in yourself." he said, then added, "And what makes you think that I'm going to be gone by the time it happens again?" 

I rolled my eyes and gave him a look. "It's inevitable that we're going to fight a lot. And that's just going to push us apart again so you'll probably end up leaving." 

Justin laughed at that. "You can't get rid of me that easily again." 

I furrowed my eyebrows with confusion. I was going to say something about that remark, but decided to change the subject. "Well...I'm tired so I guess I'll show you where you're sleeping." 

I stood up, ready to take him downstairs to the spare bedroom, but when I turned around to look at him, he was laying back on the bed with his arms behind his head, smirking. "I'm already here." 

I groaned. "You're not sleeping with me." 

Justin sat up. "Well, let's look at it this way. I'm only doing this because if I didn't, then our act of Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be so believable, now would it?" 

I stared at him for a long time, wondering why he had to be so persuasive. Then, I nodded. Do it for Camryn. "Fine." I said after a while. "But don't touch me." 

That made Justin laugh again. He shook his head and stood up, took his shirt off, then crawled underneath the covers. I closed my eyes briefly before going around to the other side and getting under as well. That's when he decided to be a little prick and wrap an arm around me and pull me towards him. 

"Justinnnn," I whined. "I told you not--"

"Too late." he said quietly and snuggled up next to me. In a matter of minutes he was fast asleep. I took a deep breath and decided that there was no way I was getting out of his grip any time soon, so I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I couldn't fall asleep, though. 

I flipped so I was facing Justin, making sure that I moved enough so he'd wake up. We looked at each other for a moment. 

"I was sleeping." he said in a joking tone. I pinched his arm. 

"Too bad." I smirked. "I couldn't fall asleep." 

Justin frowned. "So what am I supposed to do about it?" 

I shrugged. "I don't know. Stay awake with me." 

Justin hesitated for a moment, then without warning, snaked his hands down to my waist and as he sat up, threw me over his shoulder. I learned a long time ago not to yell and pound on his back because he'd get revenge for it later, so I calmly acted as if it didn't bother me. 

"Justin," I said. "Where are we going?"

"Downstairs, since we can't sleep."  

I just rolled my eyes as he dragged me downstairs with him, then gently set me on the couch when we got there. I grabbed a pillow and snuggled up against it, while Justin looked down at me with his arms crossed. 

"Not so fast," he said. "Get up for a second." 

I groaned then got up. Justin smirked before he lied himself down on the couch and held out his arms. I reluctantly went back to my position I had on the couch moments ago, except now Justin was cuddled up against me. 

"What do you wanna do?" I asked as I reached over him to grab a blanket. 

His arms tightened around me. "Sleep." 

"But I can't sleep, so lets do something else." 

Justin laughed. "Are you suggesting something to me or should we just get on with it?" 

I ignored him. "Justin, do you think our first time was a bad idea?" 

"Of course not, why?" 

"Because of Cammy," I sighed. "I just kinda wish that my birthday never happened that year." 

When Justin heard this he propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at me with raised eyebrows. "Really? You really wish that?" 

I shrugged. "I don't know, I really wish a lot of things didn't happen that year." 

He didn't answer. I looked up at him and realized after a moment that he was silently agreeing with me, but chose not to say anything about it. My heart sunk and I decided to do something stupid. I smiled, causing Justin to smile, and that's when he finally leaned down to kiss me. 

I leaned up a little bit to meet him halfway, but he just smiled and pushed me down again. It felt like an eternity, but when our lips finally met, I felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck, then he flipped us over so I was on top

I pulled away for a second. "Justin," I said quietly and somewhat out of breath. "I need to ask you something."

"Sure." 

I thought about it and became embarrassed so I wrapped my arms around his torso and hid my face in his neck. Justin laughed, sitting up a bit as he did so. He rubbed my back. "Hey, it's okay I'm not going to judge or anything." 

I took a deep breath. "Okay," I said, bringing myself to look at him again. "Do you still love me?" 

He froze. My stomach dropped. I knew it was the wrong thing to ask at the wrong time, but there was no taking it back now. I sat up, waiting for his answer. 

Then, he smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I never stopped."

That's when I sighed with relief and smiled. Justin hadn't stopped smiling yet, and when none of us knew what to do first, kiss or hug, he just pulled me towards him and we did both at the same time.

I missed him. A lot.

I've missed his smile, I've missed his hugs, I've missed his lips on mine and his hands in my hair. I've missed this and I'm not afraid to admit it anymore.

Justin keeps me grounded, I realized just now, as he pulled away to kiss my neck. He's my rock and I'm not sure if I can live without him anymore.

Though, I'm still worried that something bad might happen while he's here, and that's not good.

So since I just continue kiss him and he kisses me and everything's perfect, I decide that's it's better to wait to bring that up than to do it now.

Who knows? You can never tell when he's mad. So if I ask about it, he might lash out at me in a bad way, and we all know that would be a disaster.

Sure, I still love him, but I'm still not entirely sure that I trust him. After all, he beat me up for a week and left me to take care of a baby alone for four years.

I don't think he can be trusted until he shows me that he can.

 

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