Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake

A scrapbook of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone from Draco Malfoy's point if view. Made for laughs, enjoy!

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7. Love Letters

To the most wonderfully fabulous witch in all of Hogwarts (Pansy Parkinson) :

Roses are red,

And so is your face when you get angry,

And did you know that it kind of reminds me of this house elf father owns

And it's sort of cute but I'd prefer it if you were a unicorn,

But who cares I love you anyway.

From ?

 

Draco, I know it is you and all that letter did was make me angry - Pansy

 

My dearest Pansy,

If I buy you a cookie will you go out with me?

Love your darling Draco

 

That offer would be tempting if you were Goyle but as it's you, no thanks, I'll pass. - Pansy

 

Pansy my darling I love you more than words can say,

When I talk to you I say hurray

And then I say it's not night it's day

If you don't believe me say no way

And if you want to be mine you just have to say 'kay

And forever and forever I will carry your tray

And I hope you love me I will pray

And absoloutely always you will stay

And if you want you can eat some hay

With my pet unicorn who by the way is called Percy.

From Draco Matilda Malfoy (But you can call me Dracy)

 

What kind of rhyme was that? And WTH, your middle name is Matilda?! - Pansy

 

My dearest Pansy,

If I buy you TWO cookies will you go out with me?

Love from Dracywakey

 

I will NEVER be your dearest. Hope I crushed your dreams. - Pansy

 

Pansy my dear

You can drink beer

And will shed a tear

For our love should it sear

And I'll catch a deer

And then you can peer

At the deer have no fear

(That is if you go out with me)

Draco xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Oh Lord, not the rhyming again. - Pansy

 

Dearest my beloved Pansypoo

I already know that you're going to answer yes, but whatever, let's go for formality.

If I buy you TEN cookies and let you borrow my pet unicorn will you go out with me?

Love from your very own Dracykins

 

Stop. Just stop. If you send me anything again, I'm turning YOU into a unicorn. - Pansy

 

Dear Pansy,

Just writing to say I'm writing to you, so I'd love it if you could turn me into a unicorn as soon as possible.

Lots of love and kisses,

Draco

 

Dear Pansy,

Um... I'm still not a unicorn. I thought you were a woman of your word.

Love Draco

 

Dear Pansy,

You are making me very angry.

Draco Matilda Malfoy is NOT to be messed with.

Now why aren't I a unicorn?

Your very ANGRY Dracywakeywoo

 

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