You & I

Niall decides he wants to hang out with Taylor after hearing her playing the guitar and talking to her, she seems so nice and trustworthy. Taylor is amazed that a hugely famous, and gorgeous, celebrity wants anything to do with her.

However, Niall can't help falling in love.

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10. I'm Not Fine

Under the tree, I began to think. In a way, it cleared my head a little. I was also glad to fill my mind with thoughts - I had something to do. Maybe I overreacted a bit? Maybe he really was trying to protect me. Then again, surely he'd know it would hurt me? I was sure there was sense in what I thought - why let me see it for the first time, when I react the most, on TV? Everyone's going to know I'm weak. They'll keep doing it, until I'm at breaking point. I sighed, and got up. It was getting cold. Trailing along the dirt path, over the wire, along the path again...everything we did together. Now I'd blown it. Still, I hadn't forgiven him.

 

When I rounded the corner onto my estate, a familiar black car was parked in front of my house. Obviously Niall. I watched carefully, out of sight. He was stood at the door, knocking. After a few minutes, he stopped and got back into his car. At first, I thought he was going to leave. Instead, he began texting me. Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I turned and walked along the back path to my backyard to avoid him. Once I got inside, I curled up on my bed with Max resting his head on my legs. My phone buzzed again, another text from Niall.

 

5 Missed Calls From: Nialler James

5 Voicemails From: Nialler James

 

Nialler James: Please pick up xx

Nialler James: I'm sorry, just let me talk to you xxx

Nialler James: Taylor, why are you so mad at me?

Nialler James: I would never let them hurt you, just pick up <3 x

Nialler James: Don't listen to them, they're jealous xxxx

 

My heart was split in two - he was too sweet to be mad at. However, I had to be. I felt like a bitch. To help ignore him, I read some more tweets. 

 

@TaylorRose : You ugly slut. Go cut yourself

@TaylorRose : Why cant u just die???

@TaylorRose : How dare u scream at @NiallOfficial like that!?

@TaylorRose Thank god u guys r overrrr

@TaylorRose Take a look in the mirror, ever noticed how fat u are?

 

As I kept reading, more and more tweets told me to die, cut and that I was a fat bitch. I looked self-consciously in the mirror. I knew I wasn't really fat...was I? The more I stared at myself in the mirror, the fatter I got. Eventually, I had to walk away from it. It made me feel worse. I'm weak, I have to admit. I believe too easy - if some says things about me I instantly believe it. I believed it now. 

 

Unable to think, I went downstairs and got Max's favorite squeaky ball. After a squeeze, he came running. I laughed and put on my trainers and coat, before heading out of the front door. Niall was gone, thank God. My mind was side tracked for a while as I walked down the street, Max padding along beside me. He never needed a lead or collar - he was obedient enough, just calmly walking with his squeaky toy safely in his jaws. Every once in a while, he stopped to sniff a lamppost or something. 

"Come on, Max." I called as he took particularly long at a patch of grass. He trotted towards me, tail raised. 

I let him run around at the park, while I sat on a bench. After a bit, he was getting restless and wanted to play. I laughed and stood up. We played one of his favorite games - I run away with his ball and he chases me until he gets it - then I run after him. Kind of like Tag, in a way. Ball in hand, I ran across the soft green grass. Every now and again, I gave it a few squeezes so it squeaked. Max was fast, and he caught up to me in a couple of seconds. All he had to do was get the ball. He jumped up at me, gentle as always, and tugged at my coat. Laughing, I tried to pull free but he pulled at my jeans too. Then, as I tried to run again, I stumbled and fell to the ground.

 

Max barked with glee, and licked at my arms. Then, he clamped his teeth around the ball and freed it from my grip. He was such a sweet, playful dog. In turn, I ran after him. He deliberately slowed down now and again, then shot off with a burst of speed. Eventually, I managed to zig zag and run in front of him, finally grabbing hold of him and retrieving the ball. We were both tired out after so much running and dodging, so we headed back home. He had a long drink, and then curled up on his bed. I sat on the sofa, watching TV, eating a packet of crisps. Although, I couldn't keep from my phone. I had to see what they were saying about me. Again, comments about my weight, my looks, my acts, my behaviour...everything to make me feel worse. 

 

For days it carried on, as long as I ignored Niall. He sent me texts, called me, left me voice messages, knocked on my door, posted me letters...eventually it stopped. He probably didn't want to annoy me. Well, it was too late for that. However, the comments kept getting to me. Everything I did was criticized, everything I said was twisted into something else. There were very few people who actually were nice to me. As a result, I stopped eating. At first, I stopped the snacks. Before long, I was limiting my meals. Whenever I was at a friend's house, I said I wasn't hungry. They started worrying about me, but I just said I was fine. That was the biggest lie I had ever told.

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