Something To Live For

"Tell me what I have to do to make you mine."

I'm tired of being sad, depressed and ruined. I want to be able to say, Yeah I lived. not Yeah I was alive once.

"Just give me something to live for."

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12. 12.

As I sit in Mr. Hastal's class, I start to drift into my own world as I sit in my chair next to this fucking god I call Harry.

 

I don't know yet if I have feeling for Harry or not. Thinking of him makes me go completely insane. I don't know if he meant what he said to me in the car or if he was just aggravated with me at the moment but for some reason it hurt me a lot. Which, duh, is the reason I changed myself. Harry.

 

I don't want him to think of me as a bitch. I don't want him to hate me or even have the slightest disliking for me. I want him to like me as a friend and I do want to get closer to him but I don't know how close just yet. To think of Harry as my boyfriend sends chills down my spine. To think how he would treat me. Or what kind of a boyfriend he would be. Protective? Sweet? Cheeky- well, that's Harry to everyone... Funny?  Cute, or cliché? I have no idea. Harry does come across as a protective boyfriend and he is quite funny. He makes me laugh on numerous occasions. But when I really go into thought about it, it makes me go all mushy and things of that nature. I don't know if I like it...

 

"Anna, Psst... Hey Annabelle!... Psssssst!... What are you thinking about?" Harry whispers in my ear. 

 

"You- I mean! Umm.. not you but like, umm... What you said in the car. Did you mean it?"  I said tripping over my words making me look like an idiot as Harry smirks, his grin disappearing as I finish my sentence.

 

"No, I didn't. I just... I don't know really. I just got annoyed that you wouldn't answer me. I shouldn't have blown up like that. I'm sorry."

 

"It's fine-

 

"Annabelle and Harry! In the hallway! Now!" Mr. Hastal yells making me and Harry jump in our seats.

 

"Fuck" Harry mumbles as we go into the hallway. Mr. Hastal behind us.

 

_____________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Lunch***

 

 

Great. Just fucking great. We both got in trouble for talking in class again because apparently we get yelled at for talking "every single day" as Mr. Hastal says it. I think its the most retarded thing ever and I know Harry does too. We both have detention after school tomorrow and Wednesday.

 

I'm not hungry, so I didn't buy a lunch even though Harry begged me to eat something. I'm not really big on the whole, '3 meals a day' thing. Honestly, I could go a day with only one meal and be perfectly fine. I know its not the healthiest thing in the world but why eat if I'm not hungry?

 

"Could you at least get a bag of popcorn or something?"

 

"I told you I'm not hungry, Harry." I say picking at the chipped red polish that lays on my nails.

 

"Fine" he mumbles picking up a French fry and dipping into his ketchup.

 

 

 

 

______________________________

 

 

The rest of the day went on quickly as I had my ear buds up the sleeves of my sweatshirt, listening to City of Angels by 30 Seconds to Mars. I walk to my locker, ear buds now freely placed in my ear now that school is finished. As I walk towards the buses, I remember something.

 

 

Detention with Harry.

 

The thought of it was out of my head for a the day and I start to wonder if Harry thought that was the reason I didn't eat anything. I turn on my heal and start walking down to the detention room. I really hope that this goes well. No talking. Just sitting there, doing our homework and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

As I reach the small detention room, I notice that there is no one there. Harry included. I walk into the poorly lit room and take a seat in the corner as I usually do when I receive detention. A teacher walks into the room. I recognize her as Miss. Lilianii. She walks over to the desk in this old beat up room, fixes her papers and meets eye contact with me before looking back down at her papers, eyebrows crossed she looks opens her mouth to speak.

 

"You are not to be here until tomorrow-"

 

"Fuck!" I say pounding my fist on the desk and storming out of the room rushing to the bus circle. I pray that the buses are still there and I don't have to walk home but unfortunately I catch a glimpse of the last bus leaving.

 

Great.

 

 

I start my long walk home and I swear I am not just being paranoid but I feel like I'm being followed, each time I turn around, no ones in sight. I shake out the thoughts and keep walking home as quickly as I can. I rush into the door and lock shut behind me. I run up to my room grab some sweats and a tee and head to the shower. I leave my phone on the sink counter playing music and I start the water. I let the water fill the tub, deciding on a bath rather than a shower. I sink into the water disappearing into the water from my mouth down. I close my eyes and let my thoughts take over my mind. I let Harry take my thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

(I am so sorry!!! I was away for a week and the I forgot for a week and school ugh! im sorry ill try not to let that happen again! I don't really like this chapter but its long???? idk ill try and update over the weekend but im very busy!

 

love you all for 310 reads!!

 

-Anna.xx)

 

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