Through The Dark.

I've always been alone. I've always shielded myself from the world. I've always pushed those closest to me, far, far away. The fear of being hurt, if I ever let myself be vulnerable, held me back from ever loving life.
And whenever I look in the mirror, all I see is a worthless girl staring back at me.
But all of that is irrelevant when I'm with him.
He, without even knowing it, was helping me through the dark.

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1. ~Chapter One~

June 14th, 2011

I’ve always been alone. I’ve always shielded myself from the world. I’ve always pushed those closest to me, far, far away. The fear of being hurt, the fear of ever being vulnerable and being rejected, held me back from ever being myself around the people who still stuck with me.

            And whenever I look in the mirror, all I see staring back at me is a worthless girl. A girl who’d always be the last choice for anybody. A girl who’d be cheated on constantly. A girl who’d be jealous by a simple action of her boyfriend…but would accept it because I’d be that girl who believed she didn’t deserve to be happy.

            But all of that was irrelevant when I was with him. I don’t remember when I fell for him…I just eventually realized that I was beginning to notice the little things he did. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners whenever he smiled. The way the light reflected off the sexy lip ring he wore daily. And the way those evergreen eyes never faltered in keeping up his walls.

            He was like me. We were both screwed up. Both hurt the minute we were brought into this world and never let ourselves recover from it. My mom abandoning me, the second I was born, and leaving no trace back to her. Everything she ever said at the hospital, a lie. His mother did the exact same thing, but much worse. He had been left behind…only because he was the weaker one of the twins.

            Ever since he moved into the orphanage, my life changed. He was the one thing that kept me together, that kept me from finally falling into that dark abyss, of which id never return from. At first, I thought he’d never notice me. That he’d focus on every other girl, because they were all prettier than me (my biased opinion).

            I was most certainly wrong.

            The minute my speckled hazel eyes met those emotionless evergreen eyes, something clicked and our fates were forever intertwined.

July 14th, 2011

We all leave the orphanage when we turn eighteen…at least most of do. Others tend to stay behind to help out Uncle Moore.

I’ll be leaving August 14th, 2011. Sebastian will leave tomorrow. He says he’ll wait for me. He promises the minute I can legally leave, he’ll be waiting outside with a black Cadillac, and he’ll drive us back to his apartment.

But I’ve never been one to believe in people’s promises because most broke theirs and broke my heart in the process.

I’ve made a new friend, her name’s Rory. She’s really annoying, mean but I love her witty humor and dangerous honesty.

She leaves a month after I do.

I don’t make the same promise; Sebastian did to me, to her. I don’t want to get her hopes up.

I don’t want to get my hopes up that life will work out.

It never does…for me anyways.

August 14th, 2011

Today’s the day. Today’s the day I leave this forsaken orphanage. My heart thumps in my chest at the faintest glimpse of hope, at the faintest flicker of hope that Sebastian will be waiting for me, just like he promised.

I’m waiting in the lobby, my backpack and small suitcase at my feet. I’ve signed out and everything and I’ve left a goodbye letter for Rory, since she’s still asleep. I’ve never been one for face-to-face goodbyes. I hate confrontation.

It’s time. Its twelve o’clock. The time that Sebastian said he’d be waiting for me. It’s been ages since I’ve seen him…I wonder if I’ll even recognize him…I wonder if he’ll even recognize me.

I step out of the door and a smile flutters onto my face. There he is. There Sebastian is, leaning calmly against his…wow…leaning against his black Cadillac.

It takes only seconds to reach him.

My eyes widen a little bit when I realize he’s dyed his brown locks to night sky black. But it most certainly brings out those gorgeous, familiar evergreen eyes.

“Hey, little Robin,” he greets me, opening the passenger door. Ever since I dyed my hair red, he’s nicknamed Robin, like the small red bird.

“Hey, Loki,” I retorted, grinning at him. He chuckled and got into the driver’s seat, turning on the radio, letting Only One by Yellowcard fill the used-to-be-silent air.

“I feel honored that you’d compare to such a dashing Demi-god,” he winked at me before starting the car and pulling away from my dark past.

Like I said, our fates were forever intertwined. 

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