Its complicated

Its hard moving schools but especially when your ex is there and you like his bestmate! This is a battle for love and effection! But who will alex choose?

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5. day4- the truth

Today i have to tell the truth i feel like i have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other telling me to do different things. I just dont know what to do anymore you see.

Up and dressed i headed to school which for once im not looing forward to it, i saw lauren and asked for her advice, what would she do if she was me? She told me "you might as well tell the truth otherwise it will just bug you and you wont sleep! Plus no body likes a liar" she was so true so i took her advice and i headed to harry and he just looked so happy i didnt want to tell him but im not going to let him down. I told him the whole truth and the honest truth about me having feelings for zayn and before i could say sorry he ran off. " harry, harry!" I shouted down the corridor as i ran after him. When i finally got him he was shouting at zayn and zayn had no clue what was going on the poor lad. I was so upset but i held it in and tried to help harry because its me thats upset him. Things were already bad as they were and harry swung for zayn but luckily i stopped him. " do you think hitting you best mate is going to make things better?!" I said to harry. I understood where he is coming from. I sat him down on a bench to calm down and as soon as he did i gently touched his cheek and said " i cant help my feelings but don't get me wrong i love you to the moon and back but i love zayn too i just don't know who i want anymore I'm so sorry!" He replied with " i understand, its okay!" But no he doesn't understand he is upset and i don't blame him its all my fault! I kissed harry on the cheek and said i love you even though it could possibly be for the last time. I walked away and the school bell went to go home. As i was walking home i bumped into zayn and we looked into each others eyes and he leaned in for s kiss. I pushed him away and said "I'm still with harry its all too much to cope with, I'm sorry" and ran away. I have never been this upset since the first break up with hazza. I got home and ran upstairs and told mum to leave me alone. So I'm here now telling you how awful my day went but the good thing is i told the whole truth and the honest truth even though it hurt! So again I'm going to have to sleep on it and decide what i want, who i want and when i want them but as they say 'i want never gets' i just hope i don't regret my decision.

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