I used to yearn for a fairytale world where everything was perfect. I used to dream of being a princess and running away with my perfect prince. I used to think that everything was okay, that I had what it takes to take on the world. Now I yearn for a way to end everything. Now I dream of razors and lighters that help all the pain drift away. Now I know that I will never have a prince, I will never be a princess, and nothing will ever be okay for me. I will never have the Fairytale world I so honestly believed in, because that belief is gone and has long since been replaced with all the hate and bullying. I will never have the Fairytale world because in a few words, life sucks.


1. A Fresh Start

Chapter 1

Mari’s POV

             It was first period English when I first saw him. I had sat in my seat with my hands on my lap, index finger tracing the multiple rows of pink, puckered scars. The late bell had just rung, but he still sauntered in with the utmost confidence. He was new. He must have been, since I’m sure I would’ve remembered someone that looked like him, though I’d never admit it. “Sorry I’m late. Had to go pick up a schedule from the office,” He had said charmingly to the ancient woman at the front of the room, Mrs. Henderson. She was just about to start when he walked in and had seemed angry when she sensed the interruption, but all the anger melted away when he spoke. I hated people that could do that. “Oh, it’s quite alright Mr.” She looked down at her green seating chart “Styles” The hag said a little too quickly. Mr. Styles must have noticed my annoyance, because he winked at me and sidled up to the empty seat to my right, his surprisingly soft-looking, dark brown hair bouncing as he came. I had just realized he had a British accent when he turned towards me. “I’m Harry, and what might your name be?” He asked with his hand stuck out to me. I took it slowly and unsurely, but before I shook I made sure to pull my sleeves all the way down to my wrists. “I’m Mari.” I said slowly. It was then I spotted Jessica, the head cheerleader and my worst enemy since grade school, ogling Harry. She was whisper-yelling his name and signaling for him to come to her. “Looks like you’re wanted,” I told him. “Maybe so, but I want you.” Harry said in a sweet and seductive voice. Oh no, I was not falling for it, I thought, but that didn’t stop my knees from turning into butter. “Well then I guess some people don’t know how to take a hint,” I said when I noticed Jessica striding over to where we were seated. Jessica took the empty desk in front of us. Harry scooted his desk closer to mine and put his arm over the back of my chair possessively. Then he gave Jessica a stony look. Whoa there, I thought. I had no idea why he had interest in me, when the head of the sluts was basically throwing herself at him as we spoke. I had no idea and was suspicious of it all, so I was relieved when the bell rang and I had a chance to exit.

        I got to my locker, which was at the bottom row, and squatted down to put all my English texts away. I couldn’t help but notice how all the fat on my legs gathered up when I dropped one of my notebooks and looked down to pick it up. “Ew. She looks like a freaking moose,” I heard from a nasally voice behind me. “I don’t care what Styles thinks. You couldn’t pay me enough to get it up for that,” Said another deeper voice, obviously male. They clearly meant for me to hear them, but I couldn’t help the pang of self-hate that started in my stomach. My fat, pudgy stomach, I thought bitterly. I fought back my tears, at least for a little, and ran to the first empty place I could find. The snickers could be heard all round the hallway and, unfortunately, the emptiest place I could find was the janitor’s closet. I put a broom up against the handle so that nobody else could get in, even though I knew no one would come looking. The bell rang and class would begin without me, hopefully. Then I took out my lighter, and slipped a barrette out of my thick, frizzy black hair. I held the flame up to the metal clip and let it sit for a while. As I waited, I basked in all the thoughts that mucked up my head. Various voices repeated to me horrible things. A few that stuck out today were ‘ugly’ ‘gross’ ‘fat’ and ‘never gonna be good enough’. When I finally couldn’t take the shouting anymore, I took the barrette and stuck it to my arm. It stung a little at first, but it was worth it because the voices began to fade. Suddenly, the handle to the door began to jiggle. My immediate reaction was to jump out of my skin. My second reaction was to hide the lighter and barrette. My third reaction was an excuse. I thought It was the janitor, so I said “I-I w-w-wet my p-pants,” Thinking that an adult would feel bad and send me to the nurse without penalty. “Really?” Said a British-accented voiced suddenly oozing with amusement. Harry? Of course it was Harry when that was the excuse I decided to use. I cautiously removed the makeshift lock and opened the door. “No,” I said sullenly. Instead of stepping out as I had expected to do, my path was blocked as Harry entered the closet with me. I backed away as far as possible, accidentally jostling a mop bucket. “So, what are we doing here?” I asked unenthusiastically. Harry merely stepped closer. The small space was becoming cramped, and I had mixed feelings about where this all was going.


I know. I know!!! I need to write longer chapters, but I suck at it so when I try, they end up full of completely random junk. So do you guys want a short, good chapter or a long, sucky chapter? Lol, Love Ya Lots, Crazy*Mofo<3

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