Pistanthrophobia

I love you not because of anything you have, but because of something that I feel when I’m near you.

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2. My love for you is like the wind

"I-I love y-y-you," Louis stutters

"What?" I whisper. He stood there in silence as he was caressing my left, pale cheek. We were standing in the middle of a rural area with lots of full, bright, green grass and hill after hill. It was quite romantic, I guess, Quiet and dark. I just wish there was some kind of night light because I'm scared of the dark. I see dead people watching me in the distance, just staring into my sinful soul. 

I look over to Louis who is just looking at the ground, full of shame and embarrassment. Guilt floods my body and I start to tear up. Louis stares into my cool, shining, grey eyes. A gentle crystal slides down my tender skin. I want to say it, I want to, I just don't know how. I just want to love him and him to love me. I want to be with him forever, even when we die. I want him to still love me when we're angels in heaven. I want to make passionate love to him every day, every hour, every minute. Goddammit even every second of the day. When he wraps his arms around me I feel weightless and I know he'll never let go. Never.

"I just want to love you, Andie," Louis says. "Don't you feel the same?"

Yes, I thought. I do. I'm just afraid...

"Andie? Louis asks

"Yeah?" I question.

"Do you love me?"

I stand there silent in the cold. Honestly, I really don't know. My heart wants to, but my childhood creeps up on me and reminds me all of the negative, devilish things love does. 

"Everything we did together, doesn't mean anything to you? None of it!" Louis shouts.

Jesus, he doesn't need to yell. I can hear him perfectly fine when he whispers.

"Every fucking thing just doesn't change your view on love. Well, news flash I'm not like your fucked up parents, I'm not an addict and most importantly I will never stop loving you. My love for you, is like the wind. It keeps blowing and affects everyone who gets hit with it. My love for you, it's fucking like the angels singing, beautiful and on key. My love for you, is a butterfly. It starts off in a cocoon, full of shyness and afraid of the world, then it pops into a fluttering butterfly, wanting to see what life is like and the adventures it takes you. Our love... our love is me and you babe, together against the world and fighting our battles to be together."

My heart beats into my burning chest. I feel like my hearts about to shoot through my body and explode everywhere because it is so overwhelmed with mixed emotions. All I can say are these words,"I love you Louis Tomlinson."  

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