I love you not because of anything you have, but because of something that I feel when I’m near you.


4. Him

We arrive at therapy on time, luckily. My mom turns the car off and gets out of the white, Audi sports car. She locks the door, while I was still inside. 

"Really mom?"

Sorry, she mouths before she unlocks the car again. I step out with flare and pull myself up. It's 10:57 am so I'm not fully awake. My mom is super over protective so she has to walk me to the door. I cover my stomach, with my hands wrapping around my body. I always do this when I walk. I guess it's just an insecurity problem. 

The building is made out of bricks and it's pretty big. The door is old looking and is made out of wood and cheap white paint. A few spots are flaking off. The only thing that looks new about this building is the doorknob. I remember when the doorknob broke, whoever got here first (one of the workers), would have to use their finger to twist something in and 99% of the time broke their nail. They got a new one about a month ago. I'm pretty observant of the most littlest things. 

"Bye sweetie," my mom says. 


I twist the new, golden doorknob and casually walk in. I quietly walk into the lobby and see some guy is in my usual seat. What the hell. He's pretty cute. But I wouldn't go for him. He's got tattoos all over the place, even his neck. One thing I hate is neck tattoos. But his eyes. His eyes are so blue, they look like they shouldn't even be human. His eyes are so blue, they are the sky on a beautiful sunny afternoon, the Atlantic ocean, while the sun and the moon compete to see who can beat on it first. Andie, what is wrong with you. He's probably some boy who just wants to have sex with every girl he sees. Of course, I'm not going to be rude so I move to another seat and plop myself down. I push my pelvis up and retrieve my phone from my right butt pocket. The "boy" looked over to me and was chuckling at me. His smile was so white, I could become blind. Jesus, that boy was a creature made by God. God worked really hard to make him. My tired, baggy eyes look to the side to where he is. He was constantly looking towards me. This could mean two things: 1 he really likes me or 2 I'm so ugly, he wants to know if I'm a real human being. I'm going for number 2, but I'm not that bad looking. But I am strange. 

It's 11:03 and I want to go home. My therapist still hasn't called me in. Amy probably saved my life. A couple years ago when I first came here, I was suicidal and tried multiple times to kill myself. Amy has helped me with that. I have to admit, I was rude to Amy at first because I was scared and confused. I didn't know what to say or tell her. When I was a kid, my mom told me to never say anything to anyone, or else I would get hit or called names. I sometimes wonder why I'm still alive, why I didn't kill myself when I was 9 or 10. My dad never hurt me physically or mentally. My brother would. I think my brother got treated worse then Lillie and me. Lillie, Brooks and me went through a lot in our childhood. My parents finally divorced when I was 13, Brooks 15 and Lillie 19. It's hard sometimes. I want my parents together but I know they're just bad for each other like Francium and water, once they touch, they react and explode. I guess love doesn't last forever. No, I don't guess... I know.

"Andie," Amy says while motioning for me to go towards her. I glance over at the "boy" and he smiles at me. I shyly smile back, while blushing like a red tomato. 

"How are you today, Andie?"Amy asks.

"I'm doing pretty well," I reply.


**Louis' POV

I just sit there. Totally captivated by that girl's beauty. Her eyes. Her eyes are a cool grey like storm clouds. Her smile is beautiful. A million dollar smile, they would say in cheesy, low budget movies. Her full, pouty lips. The red lipstick makes them pop out even more. And her figure is amazing. A small, little torso but then you scan down and BOOM! curves. Her ass is round and sticks out perfectly, petite waist and long legs. Not technically the best looking legs but better than most. Her arms and neck are smooth and muscular. High cheekbones and a little, round nose. Her hair, light brown with a few blonde highlights. She's really beautiful. I'd never thought I'd see someone at Niall's therapy that looked like her. Andie. What a fabulous name. I bet she's great in bed... If she's ever fucked before. She probably has by the way she dresses. And most people that have therapists have probably fucked because they're so screwed up they wanna screw something. 

Of course I'm still waiting here. The appointment was supposed to be over at 11 and it's 11:06. But in a way I'm glad because I met the most gorgeous girl in the world, or noticed, not really met if you get it. Whatever, I'm going outside to take a smoke. 

I get up from the soft, cushioned chair and push the door on my way out. I lean on the railing while fumbling to get my fags out. I pull the cig out of the package and grab my lighter and light it up. I put my lips on the cigarette and inhale through my mouth, feeling the burn in my dead lungs. Then I exhale through my nose, stinging my nostrils and brain. I wonder if that girl has ever smoked anything before? Wait till I introduce her to pot. She'll go nuts.

I smoke a little bit longer and head back inside. I check the time to see that it's 11:15. Oh right, I killed 9 minutes. Go Louis. Louis, the gayest name ever. I can't believe my mum named me that.

Jesus Christ Niall, lets go. He never talks as it is and now it's 11:18. The poor lad needs someone to talk to whenever something bad happens. Like last night, Harry came home drunk, as usual, and started to break shit and gave Niall a panic attack. Harry is a brat, I'll tell you that. Whenever he doesn't get his way, he leaves and gets completely plastered. Then, he finds some kind of reason to blame everyone for why he's drunk. But I still love the kid. This whole "biggest boyband" is getting to all of us but mostly Harry since he's the youngest in the band. Fuck, he's not even old enough to drink! I really feel bad for him. I wish he could just stop getting with all of these girls to fill this void in his mind. He's destroying himself and he hasn't had time to grow up. I love the kid, but he needs help.

It's almost 11:25. Bloody hell I've go things to do. Well, I'm just going to take a nap and see where we go from there.


**Andie's POV

I walk out of Amy's office and go to the front table to schedule another appointment. I glance over to see if that mysterious creature is still there. He is. He looks so gentle and young when he's asleep. 

"Hello, Miss Walitski, when would you like to schedule your next appointment?" The lady behind the counter questions.

"Same time and day," I reply. While I'm talking, I hear a thick Irish accent from behind me. 

"Alright mate, lets go... Lou wake up you arsehole," the Irishman said. The "boy" slowly opened his ocean, blue eyes, eyelashes fluttering against his clear, baby - soft skin. He immediately was looking at me. Our eyes met. My heart was beating faster each second. I felt butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. "My eyes whispered have we met?"  The song "Enchanted" was playing in my mind at this moment. 

"Ok, your appointment is scheduled. Have a nice day!" The lady spoke. 

"Thanks, you too," I reply, still looking at the "boy." I finally look at the door and start to fast walk there. Someone grabs my arm and I realize it's him. "Hi," he says. 

"Hi," I whisper by mistake.

"I'm Louis."

"I'm Andie," I respond. It's weird that someone like him wants to talk to someone like me.

"Andie... That has a unique twist to it... And it's perfect for you," He trails off. I blush and my face starts to heat up like the sun. 

"No need to be cheesy and corny... It's just a name," I snap.

"I was just saying the truth," He replies. I look up at him. His definition... is I don't know. His jawline is a little feminine, almost like mine... Unless I have a masculine jawline. Anyway, his arms and torso look muscular, but it could be better. From the looks of it, you'd expect him getting help, not his friend. He's dirty, full of tattoos, smells like cigarettes and most importantly those damn neck tattoos. It makes me want to barf. Okay Andie, you need to get your judging under control.

"Do you want to hang out sometime?" Louis asks.

"Um, I don't know."

"How about... Thursday? I'm off from tour for a couple of days," Louis asks.

"What do you mean by "tour"?" Putting emphasize on the word tour.

"I'm in a band... One Direction," He responds.



"Nothing, you just don't look like the type of person who would like fame."

"You're right, I don't like all of the fame, but I enjoy making music and making a difference in peoples lives."

I stand there, in silence, not knowing what to say. This is pretty awkward.

"Anyway, here's my number so we can see each other sometime," He adds. Louis hands me a piece of white lined - paper with his number on it. I fold up the paper and squeeze it in my hand. How sweet.

"Thanks," I say and leave. I have mixed emotions about this. He seems sweet, but in his eyes it seems like he wants to destroy me. Or just change me into who he wants me to be. 

I walk out in the parking lot and see my mother waiting outside of her car. "No not today mum; Don't say it," I mumble. 

"Sweetie, over here!" She screams. I glance over to Louis and see he's laughing. Little dick. He stops laughing and smiles his pearly whites at me. I politely smile back at him. He waves and I ignore it. 

"I hate you," I whisper to my mother.

I slam the car door and cross my arms over my chest. I pout my prominent lips. 

"Oh, suck it up honey," my mom says. Whatever, that was so embarrassing. Especially since it was in front of Louis. I turn the radio on, roll my window down and just enjoy this day. Ed Sheeran's "Sunburn" is playing. My favorite song...

Authors Note: A "fag" is a British term for a cigarette.


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