Back To You

Lexie isn't sure where her life is going at the moment. Not sure if she can ever make her dreams come true.
Until she meets someone, who might convince her otherwise.

(This isn't a full thought out story yet, but it's a start)

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1. Cold, Colder, Coldest.

I have been home for just over a year and I've hardly noticed it. Being away wasn't as great as I expected, but being home isn't any better.

Especially, when the degree that you achieved while away, isn't recognized at all at home.

I tried looking for jobs and even joined and extra school thing to help me find something. Something I can base my career on. Something I can point back to and say "That's where it all started!". But nothing worked. No matter how many applications I sent out, how many smiles I smiled or how much I was disappointing my family.

Eventually, I found a small music publishing company that hired me to do desk work, for way too little for the long hours I work. But it's all I have.

It's my only escape from raging family members, internet that keeps cutting out and constant chores.

I try to help anyone out wherever I can, but not once, has anyone offered their help to me.

My days have turned into pure routines. Get up, get ready, work, eat, work and sleep. almost seven months have gone by and I haven't done anything else.

I walk down the street from my office to the train station, cold wind blowing in all directions.

The train is late as usual and I miss all my connections by a mere second.

By the time I come home I am frozen and hungry and sick of peoples judging eyes. It makes me even more paranoid that I really am.

 

"I'm going out tonight." I inform my Dad, John, as I walk into the kitchen. Kelly is sitting at the table with his iPad, waiting for dinner. "Fine." he replies, not taking his eye off the pan.

"Did I say something wrong? Forget to do anything?" I ask cautiously, not wanting to set him off by saying the wrong thing. He just shrugs. "Whatever." he says and walks over to the dishwasher to retrieve two plates.

I hate when he's in this mood. He never says what he thinks... "Fine." I say, look around the kitchen once more and go back downstairs to my room to get ready.

I don't have a destination in mind yet, but it's Friday evening and I can't spend it at home again.

As I take another last look in the mirror, Kelly walks by and smiles slightly, her eyes red. I can tell she's been crying.

After taking a quick peek into the kitchen I see my dad sitting at the end of the table, head in his hands, food untouched, Kelly's school books strewn across. She cries so easily. Whenever someone moans at her or criticizes anything. Usually, she runs into her room and slams the door, followed by a loud thump of something being thrown against the wall.

This time she is quiet. Leaves the door ajar. I hear her climb up her bed and see the lights go out.

I take a deep breath and convince myself not to get involved this time. I have tried more than once to settle a family feud or make opposite parties agree to compromises, but this time I need to get out. I close the door behind me, without saying goodbye.

In the train, I spot several familiar faces, but hide my own, in fear of being recognized.

By the time I find a moderately empty bar, the wind has stopped and I can feel warmth going back into my fingers.

I sit down at and open table for two and take my winter attire off. The waitress immediately brings me a menu and walks back to behind the bar, several men following her with their eyes.

Looking around, I notice that I never looked at the name of this place. I guess it just looked inviting.

It's filled with people conversing loudly about sports and other happenings of the week. Most of them laughing, others talking in hushed voices, seemingly gossiping about the people around them. I loose myself in the atmosphere of loud music, shouting people and the smell of amazing food.

I get so lost, that I nearly fall out of my chair as someone steps right into my view and looks directly into my eyes. "I am so sorry!" he laughes.

Frowning, I try to recollect my thoughts and breathe normally again. He takes a step closer, opening the top button of his jacket and clearing his throat. "I'm not very good at this." he says smiling loosely. Still frowning I ask, "Good at what?".

"Okay, look, I was walking past here and I-.." he stops and looks down at the chair opposite mine. "May I?" he asks pointing at it. I look from his brown eyes to the brown chair back to him.

I raise my eyes and nod my head slowly. "Sure."

He unbuttons the rest of his forest green jacket and places his black gloves and scarf on the edge of the table.

He pushes his sleeves up and links his fingers together. "As I was saying," he continues "I was walking past this place, taking a peek inside and I saw you sitting here alone."

I stare at him, waiting for him to keep talking. Something about his voice made me feel so calm. It made me forget this whole weird day. "I know, I know, it sounds super weird, maybe even a little creepy, but I thought, well, why not. Why not just to talk to the pretty girl sitting in the bar all alone. The worst she can do is say no." He shrugs, smiling a little wider than before.

It takes me a while to realize that he was talking about me. And I can't help but blushing a little bit, hoping he can't see any of it. "I'm Lexie." I say, trying to smile equally as beautiful as him. "Hi Lexie, I'm Zach."

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