Silenced Heart

Luke Hemmings loves the fame. The sound of the girls screaming his name and the flashing lights. His band members see this, so they make a bet. If he can last without the fame, he'll be paid. Luke goes back to school, and he meets a girl who flips his entire world upside down. When the bets over, he has one of the biggest decisions he'll ever have to make: leave her or hold on for as long as he can.

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24. Chapter 24

Ok.....so y'all need an explanation for why I haven't posted in more than a month.

I actually...on April 13th got a concussion. It wasn't that bad at first but you I had to rest no phone or anything.

So like a week or two later I was totally fine wih just minor headaches but I didn't get time to update because of games and Easter.

So then the next week on Tuesday I felt so horrible. I was shaking badly and I almost threw up but I stopped myself.

So that lasted all week and weekend but the doctor told me it was most likely related to my concussion, so I had to rest another twenty four hours and take this seriously.

They weren't sure about my shaking because that became sort of common for me. Because of my shaking, they wanted to send me to a neurologist just in case.

So I went and the guy told me I was fine neurologically but I was working my brain too hard. So I couldn't use my phone or anything but that was last Friday and now I use my phone (rebel).

But I can't do sports until my frequent migraines go away whenever I exercise or whatever but they haven't yet.

So here's an update and I promise to make it extra long!!!!!

Maria<3

p.s.

I also just saw the fault in our stars Satruday and it was soooo good.

-Hope-

There were two days until mine and Carson's picnic. He has started talking like an eight year old planning her wedding with her latest crush.

He doesn't shut up about the different drinks and snacks he's stored in the "traditional picnic basket" as he calls it. He normally won't just start random conversation about ham and cheese sandwiches, but he has been hinting lately and it's very frustrating.

Every time the topic was brought up, I'd roll my eyes...just to hide the erupting blush on my cheeks and my quivering hands.

I already had my outfit picked out along with my hairstyle and shoes. It is quite confusing, though. I've been prancing around with a smile on my face thinking about our picnic as a...a date.

But in my mind I wonder if Carson thinks as it the same. I mean, I don't ask for much as a person, but sometimes just an, "I like you" or "I like your outfit" would suffice. He seems so defiant about hiding his feelings that it makes my brain slosh around in my head like jelly.

When he's around me, his smile makes my heard go buck wild in my chest. He's never had this affect on me until recently.

Sometimes I can see the glint in his eye when I laugh that makes me hope that there's a future for is both...together, but then it disappears so quickly that I can sense his episode of malaise.

"This dress is cute," Cheryl compliments, whipping me from my cloud of thoughts. "What's it for?" she inquired, throwing my heartbeat off track and my face deeper than violet.

"I'm going out with a friend tomorrow," I spoke in the best stoic-resembling voice I could, but I knew that my shaking hands have me away.

"Mhmm. And who's this friend?" I could see the way her eyes glinted that she was amused by my reactions.

"No one." Damnit. My voice cracked.

Gave me away big time.

"You sure I don't know them?" My breathing stared to become irregular from fury and embarrassment from this game she's playing.

"It's Carson, alright? And before you can even get to it, it's not a date. I promise you," I confessed.

Her grin became wider.

"Oh my gosh! He likes you, doesn't he?" Her teeth were showing through he thirteen foot smile.

"No. I really don't think so," I said, my voice lowering.

"He will by tomorrow," she promised, winking.

.

.

.

Carson picked me up at twelve the next day. Well, Ross picked me up with Carson in acquaintance in the back seat.

"Hey!" he chirped with a smile wider than the sun itself.

"Hi," I piped up a bit, suddenly feeling shy in my dress and girly accessories.

"You look," he started to say and looked at me while trying to find the correct word to use, "beautiful." My blush was evident as I stared back at him with a firing face.

"Thank you." He shuffled over to the other side of the car, allowing me a space to sit next to him. "You brought a while apparatus for a picnic, huh?" I inquired with a cheeky chortle.

"Yeah, I guess," he admitted while scanning the components in the back seat.

Ross pulled up to the prison and pulled onto the small concrete path that led to the lush field behind it.

"This is it, right?" Carson questioned, gazing out the window as if to pretend he knows where we are.

"Yes." When Ross parked, I opened up the door and carefully stepped out onto the smoothly paved cement. The smell of the salty river was the same as it was nine years ago. My eyes glazed over and went blurry as I zoned out on a single stone lying helplessly as if to say, "Please help me."

"You ready? Ross is going to leave us for now." I shifted my eyes back to Carson.

"I'm ready. Let's go!" My enthusiasm was present but at the same time totally in a different world.

There wasn't exactly a pin I could point on the feeling, but it was like I was in a permanent malaise. One day I was happy and elated about living and smelling the dandelions in my front yard (they had no smell), and now I couldn't even tell you the last time I'd even plucked one from the roots just for pleasure.

But, I've noticed that ever since I met Carson, my life has flipped upside down. Not like I was in love with him or anything. He was just always smiling and jumpy. For whatever reason, he's very content and pleased with life. That's not a bad thing....just unusual.

"I brought a classic red checkered blanket, just clarifying that." He spoke with such confidence that I couldn't help but let out a small chortle.

"I see. It's very impressive," I complimented. His smile broadened as he sat down cross-legged next to me.

"It took me over three hours to find it, too. I went to twenty different stores before I went to a thrift shop and found it," he explained, picking through the oversized, woven basket. Carson emerged from the black hole of a picnic basket with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

"Classic," I stated, my index finger and thumb coming together to form an okay sign.

"Totally. I had Ross help me make them. I'm sorry if there's too much of something on it, but hey I'm not Robert Irvine," he apologized, shrugging his shoulders and biting into the sandwich.

"Who's that?" I asked, scanning my eyes over the ingredients layered between the two pieces of wheat bread.

"What?" his shocked voice rang out, his sandwich plummeting down to the plaid cloth. I rose my gaze to meet his aqua eyes. "You don't know who the greatest chef on this world is?!" He sounded totally astounded at my question.

"No..." I responded unsure of what he wanted me to tell him.

"I'm appalled," he bluntly stated, "at your ignorance." I giggled with a bite of food still lingering on my tongue.

"I'm sorry, but I don't watch cooking shows. It just makes me hungrier than I need to be." He shook his head, arms crossed over his chest.

"Horrible. Well, if you'd like me to inform you, he's the greatest chef in Europe. He had many famous restaraunts in the United States, and he also has a show, Restaurant Impossible. On this show, he will swoop into a failing restaraunt, quite like a superhero, and save the business."

At the end of his soliloquy, I applauded.

"That was beautiful!" I shouted, blowing kisses and cheering. He bowed as best as he could in the position he was in, yet he still looked like a prince who was offering to dance with a maiden.

"It was, wasn't it?" I started to chuckle before it became a full hysterical episode. Carson joined in on the ridiculous session before we both let out a sigh of relief and started to eat again.

.

.

Carson and I finished our picnic about two and a half hours later. Once we finished the picnic part, we moved on to laying on our backs and staring up at the dimming sky.

The beautiful layer of our atmosphere shifted to many different colors in the time frame of three to five. The sun had set around three thirty and then the sky danced with colors ranging from orange and pink to purple and blue.

"It's so beautiful," I whispered, breathless. There were no city lights interrupting the sunset and the only sounds we could hear were those of the water lapping against the rocks and our soft breaths.

Carson shifted more towards me after I had let out my comment. "Not the only beautiful thing here." My cheeks blossomed and my heart started to fail on me.

"I know. The water's also beautiful," I blurted. My lame comment threw him into a laughing fest.

"You could say that, but I was talking about you, Hope," he corrected. My cheeks flushed into an even deeper shade of red.

"Oh. Um..." I averted my eyes from the sky to the side of his face. His jaw clenched together in a soft way and his cheek bones contorted with every slow breath he took.

"I know you're looking at me. You can't hide it," he teased, causing my cheeks to erupt in rose bushes of color.

"I'm not trying to hide it," I confessed. I was lying, but I figured, hey, why not be confident about it? He turned his head to look back into my eyes.

"Then I won't either. Staring contents right now." I shut my eyes and shook my head.

We started out strong, but once the minute mark reached .5, I erupted into bubbly laughs.

"You're horrible at this game," he mumbled, not trying to hide his amusement.

"Thanks. I try my very hardest, Carson." He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Listen, Hope. I really need to talk you. But first you need to promise me something."

I rose my eyebrows, afraid that he'd tell me that he had a girlfriend and this was all just an act of kindess.

"What?" He threw his head into his hands quite dramatically. "Ok, now you're acting like Hailey. Just tell me what's up. It won't affect me," I told him, turning my head to see his eyes, which were glowing even in the diamond dusted sky.

"You must promise to never talk about what I'm about to tell you. I'm sorry if this hurts you and if you never want to talk to me again, but please know that I like you. I think of you as my best friend. You're the nicest and sweetest person, and the last thing I want is to loose you," he went on with his spiel.

My heart twisted into a knot. Best friend. That's all.

"Go on," I urged him to continue.

"My names not Carson. I don't wear glasses. And I sure as hell am not here because of my parents. I'm here because I chose to go through with an idiotic teenage dare that was on steroids."

I started blink, as if he would disappear after so many times.

"What?" I was utterly confused and shocked.

"I'm Luke Hemmings. I've been Luke my whole life, and still am." He started to toussel his neatly gelled hair and unbutton the few buttons on the top of his shirt.

That's when I felt my heart skip maybe five beats.

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