FML

This is my story. So, this is basically like a diary I'm naming names because yolo and ya. I don't care if people that I know find this cause hey at least they will know MY side of the story. Don't judge someone by their cover.

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1. Entry #1

Hey, so I have no idea if anyone will ever read this but this is my story in diary form. I have typed diaries before on this here iPad on an app. It was a really good way for me to express how I'm feeling yet all my entries and everything were deleted because my mom went through the iPad and I panicked that she would find the diary even if there was a password. It was a momentary scare and she didn't even end up looking through it so, oh well. I have been trying to get back to typing so I guess this is it.

I'm not gonna tell you my name because I don't know how viral this is gonna turn out but I will say that I am a thirteen year old eighth grader that loves to write and wants to be a photographer when she grows up. I live in Arizona and my life pretty much sucks at the moment and it's not getting any better.

You so I was just diagnosed with assertive colitis. Which technically means I have irritation in my Collin. Maybe that's a bit to detailed already but hey I'm an open book.(literally) So I got diagnosed a little over a week ago and it sucks. I have to watch what I eat because I can get episodes where my stomach starts hurting really bad. And when I say really bad I mean REALLY BAD.

It's gotten to the point where I start having panics attacks which happen frequently now. Like during class I will focus on a speak on the wall and then I will think of everything wrong with me. So, I black out and all my pain rushes over my body and my body shakes as my heart rate goes up. My throat closes in as tears start falling down. Most of the time it can't control it so I look away from people. It is scary when I have those because it feels like you having a stroke.

I just went to my therapist at 2 and she gave me some tips on how to calm it down like with breathing which sometimes helps so that's good. It's just hard when I can't handle it in front of people. I will get overwhelmed and it gets worse.

Then my mom had to pay thousands of dollars for many tests that I had to do. So now she can't even buy one direction tickets and they are finally coming to Arizona after three years. Btw if you are wondering about my dad I will talk about it next entry. This disease makes me tired constantly because when you Collin is irritated it bleeds so I'm losing ALOT of blood. So I am constantly tired. So night talk later.

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