Fear

She flew.

6Likes
3Comments
372Views

1. Fear

She doesn’t know how to explain herself proper.

She can’t express her feelings.

She doesn’t know the words to every sentence.

She hides away behind a wall.

A big wall.

Or a façade is another word for it.

 

She’s not crying anymore.

Not even when she goes to sleep.

Her eyes are dry, there’s no tears left.

She has hidden her feelings and she can’t get them out again.

She was tired of crying, so she told herself to stop,

But her tears left with her feelings.

She doesn’t know how to break through her own wall.

Even though she made herself

Even though it was her own construction.

She just can’t get it down.

It’s stuck.

 

She’s empty.

She doesn’t know how to live anymore.

She has lost all sense of happiness.

She just wants to give up,

But still she thinks that now is the perfect time,

To show everybody that she can.

 

She wants to show the world that she can.

Show the people that doubted in her

The people that said that she couldn’t.

She wants to show them she can,

Show them that they shouldn’t have doubted in her.

Show them they were wrong.

 

She wants to change the world, make a difference.

She wants to help.

She wants to change the things that nobody has ever changed before.

But it’s all in her head.

She’s not making it happen.

She keeps it as a thought.

 

The voices tell her that she can’t.

They keep her from chasing her dreams.

She shouldn’t listen, but she does.

The voices keep repeating themselves.

Keep reminding her how stupid her dream is,

And how she’s never going to make it.

 

She doubts in herself too.

The voices keep telling her what a fail she is.

But that shouldn’t stop her from doing what she wants to.

It should motivate her

But it doesn’t.

She is on the bottom, and she can’t get up.

 

Nothing,

She feels nothing.

She sees nothing,

Or, the world is there

But she does not notice it.

She is trying to avoid life

But that is simply impossible.

Life is trying to get in her way,

The world tries to make her life miserable.

And it works.

 

Her life is a mess.

She lives in constant fear that something will happen

And tear her world apart again.

So she would have to start over.

But she don’t want to start over again

She is afraid of starting over.

She is afraid of starting something she can’t finish.

 

She’s letting fear run her life.

Fear is affecting her decisions.

And it shouldn’t.

She should run her own life

She should take over

So it’s her that is taking the choices.

 

She’s afraid of meeting new people.

Afraid that they wont like her,

Like everybody else.

She’s afraid of getting pushed to the ground.

She’s afraid that she can’t get up again.

 

She’s afraid of trying.

Afraid of failing.

She is afraid that people will laugh and point out her mistakes.

So, she is not trying anymore.

She just sits and watches other peoples happiness,

While she is drowning in her own thoughts.

 

She doesn’t know who she is anymore.

She has lost herself

Lost herself in the ocean of evil comments and miserable thoughts.

Her soul has been there for to long,

It’s impossible for her to get up on her own.

She needs help, but no one can break through her shell.

It has been there for ages

And it’s not planning on leaving her.

It has its own life,

It tries to protect her but in the end it just cuts of her social life

 

She gave up.

She’s no longer able to live.

She doesn’t believe in that one day she will get a friend.

She’s like a robot.

She’s not feeling like a human.

Even though she looks like one,

She’s not even close.

 

She plays with the thought of suicide.

Sometimes she would stand with a knife in her hands,

Or go to the edge of a bridge,

Enchanted by the water,

Enchanted by the thought of jumping.

 

One day she stood on the bridge.

She was standing on the wrong side of the fence,

She was looking at the water, and she wanted it to come closer.

Her wish came true.

She jumped.

But as she jumped, she thought that maybe she could have tried harder.

Maybe she could have done it better herself.

She was near the water, and she heard no screaming.

And she thought to herself.

There will be none.

Nobody will cry for me.

Nobody will miss me when I’m gone.

As she thought of that, she hit the water.

And she disappeared.  

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...