Falling

Jess is just starting her second semester of being a Junior in high school. To start the semester off, she volunteers to show the new kid around the school. Mainly because she gets to skip gym class, but also because she is intrigued by the idea of meeting someone new. Over the first month of school, Jess becomes really close friend with the new student, but who wouldn't become best friends with Louis Tomlinson. He's funny, entertaining, and not to mention cute, but Jess would never admit to thinking that. Louis is always there for Jess, especially when she gets heart shattering news that changes everything.

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12. Eleven.

“How much more homework do we have to do?” Louis asked once we got back to the high school.

“Not that much more. I'd say by the end of the day tomorrow, we'll be finished. Maybe a little extra work over the weekend.”

“That's so far away,” Louis whined..

“We only have about two more hours today, though.”

“Jess,, can you do me a favor.”

“Sure,” I put my pencil down and turned to face him.

“Kill me,” he begged, slamming his history book into his head.5

“Deep breaths, Louis. Deep breaths,” I picked up my pencil again and went back to doing my homework.

~~~
After the bell rang at the end of the day, Louis practically ran out of the building and to his car. He was in the drivers seat before I even got out of the building. He dropped my off of my house, telling me that he'll pick me up at my house at 7:30 tomorrow. And if I was a millisecond late, he would leave without me. Quite the funny man.

Once Louis left, I got into my car and drove to go see Jared. I've gone there almost everyday now, and he really isn't getting much better. He's still as optimistic as ever, though. I've never seen him upset about his diagnosis and he seems to be taking things pretty well. Better than I am, that's for sure. I don't really know what he's thinking, he doesn't like to talk about it. I can only assume that he's scared, which is a pretty fair assumption. I'm just glad to see that he's not upset or constantly thinking about what could happen to him. Or at least I think he's not too concerned about it.

Every time I see Jared, he always gets a huge smile on his face and immediately wants a hug. He gets so excited to see me, and it breaks my heart a little more each time I see his eyes light up. He has to be missing being home and being with our family. We always end up talking and playing games for hours until he eventually falls asleep, so I sneak out, but not without leaving a kiss on his head. The only difference between being with him now and being with him before he got sick is that we can't run around. He's still the same Jared, just a little more tired than normal. We have fun together, talking and laughing about everything. I tell him more than I tell my parents, and, even though he's ten, he understands most of the things I tell him. He genuinely listens to the things that I say, and it's amazing the kinds of things that he comprehends.

“Hey, Jared,” I said, walking into the room.

“Jess!” Jared smiled at me. He was sitting up in his bed, playing with a couple action figures on the little table in front of him.

“How are you feeling today?” I pulled a chair up next to his bed and sat down.

“Tired. I had my third treatment yesterday.”

“I know,” I frowned. “How did it go?”

“It made me sicker than the others,” he said, his action figures knocking into each other in a battle.

“I'm sorry about that, buddy,” I said.

He looked away from his toys to smile at me and scooted over in his bed. I stood up and climbed in next to him, wrapping an arm around him.

“Hey, is that one new?” I asked, pointing at the Spiderman action figure.

“Yeah.”

“Did mom and dad get it for you?”

“Nope.”

“Well, where did you get it?”

“You know your friend Louis?”
“Yeah, what about him?” I asked gently, stroking his warm forehead with my hand. It killed me to see him so sick, but I know it's just a side effect of the chemotherapy he's getting.

“He's the one who got me Spiderman. He came to see me yesterday.”

“That's really cool, Jared.”

“And I asked him if he wanted to be my friend, and he said,” Jared smiled big. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“No, he's just a really good friend.”

“He told me a secret.”

“And what was it?” I asked him, smiling down at my little brother.

He waved his hand in front of me, motioning for me to come closer to him.

“He said that you're really pretty. And he likes you,” Jared whispered in my ear.

“He did?” I smiled.

“Yep. But you can't tell anyone. It's a secret,” he warned me, holding up his pinky.

“I promise I won't,” I said, wrapping my pinky about his and shaking it. “You know, I have a secret, too.”

“Tell me!” He exclaimed.

“Louis and I are going on a date this weekend.”

“Really? He told me that he wanted to go on a date with you, but he said he was too scared to ask you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. He said he wants to know what would happened if you two went out, and I told him that I think that you two will get married,” Jared said confidently.

“We'll see what happens,” I laughed.

“Am I going to die, Jess?” Jared suddenly asked.

Something hit me when he said that, really hard, because I didn't know. I didn't know what was going to happen to him, and neither did he.

“I don't know, Jare-bear. I don't know,” I spoke to him. “But, I do know that, right now, you aren't. I do know that no matter what happens, I will always love you, and I will always be there for you. Even though you may not be feeling the best, currently, you are fine. I don't know what will happen, and I wish I had some answers for you. But I don't.” Jared only nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he yawned. I kissed the top of his head and gently climbed out of the bed. He smiled at me before falling asleep. I sighed, sitting down on the chair next his bed. I brought my legs up in front of me, resting my chin on top of my knees. I watched Jared sleep and thought about how tiny he looked. He seems younger, a lot more innocent and at peace. It worried me that he's thinking about death. He's only ten, he shouldn't be thinking about if he's going to die, he should be thinking about which superhero would beat which during a fight. He shouldn't be realizing that he's really sick and could die, he should be realizing that girls don't have cooties and that they are actually cute.

I sighed and kissed Jared's head before I left his room. When I climbed into my car, I got my phone out to text Louis.

To Lou Bear: Thank you for seeing Jared yesterday.

He replied almost instantly.

From Lou Bear: Did he say anything?

Yes, yes he did. He told me that you like me and think I'm pretty. He also mentioned that he wants us to get married.

To Lou Bear: Just that you got him a Spiderman and that you two are friends now. That really means a lot to me, you know.

From Lou Bear: I'm glad.

To Lou Bear: You really are the best.

From Lou Bear: So I've been told.

From Lou Bear: By you.

From Lou Bear: A million times.

I laughed out loud.

To Lou Bear: Well, I just wanted to let you know that you really made his day.

From Lou Bear: He's an amazing kid, he's so happy all the time.

To Lou Bear: He asked me if he's going to die.

From Lou Bear: Oh. What did you tell him?

To Lou Bear: That I didn't know. I hated having to tell him that. It kills me, Louis. It really really hurts.

From Lou Bear: I'm sorry, Jess. Do you want me to come over?

To Lou Bear: Yes please.

I put my phone back into my bad and pulled out of the parking lot. It took everything I had not to break down while I drove home. All I needed was to be close to Louis. It gave me strength to know that he would be at my house, waiting for me, like he always is.

“I beat you to your own house,” he laughed when I stepped out of my car.

I smiled at him and walked into his open arms. I could feel the impending break down happening, so I grabbed Louis' arm and dragged him to my front door.

“Mom, I'm home!” I yelled through my house.

“I am, too!” Louis added.

“Hi Louis,” my mom greeted him as she walked into the living room, where we were currently standing.

“Hello, Jen,” Louis gave my mom a hug. “How are you?”

“Good, just cooking up a storm! Would you like to stay for dinner?” My mom asked Louis.

“I would love to.”

“Great! I'll go add another plate to the table,” she left us in the living room.

“I think my mom loves you more than she loves me,” I stated.

“I think so, too,” Louis joked.

“She didn't even say hi to me,” I laughed. “What did you do to her?”

“I'm pretty charming, you know.”

“Sure.”

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked me, a serious look on his face.

“Not really. But if my mom sees me crying there will be this whole thing, and I don't want to deal with it,” I sighed. “Hey mom, how much longer until dinner?”

“An hour or so,” she called back.

“Okay, let's go have a good cry in my room,” I took Louis' arm again and lead him to my room. I pushed him onto my bed, while he laughed, and plopped down next to him. I laid my head on his chest, the feeling of his comforting arms around me causing me to close my eyes. I was crying then.

“I cry on you a lot, don't I?” I sniffed.

“Well, you have a reason,” he rubbed my back.

I turned my head so my chin was resting on his chest and peered at Louis' face. He crossed his eyes at me, sticking out his tongue, making the face he always does to make me laugh. I scooted closer to Louis and placed a kiss on his cheek. He smiled softly at me, using his thumb to wipe the tears off my cheeks. His hand rested on my check, the warmth from his palm relaxing my cool cheek. I looked into his eyes, my heart beating slightly faster. He was looking at me as if I was the only thing that mattered at that exact moment. I felt like he was looking at me, waiting for the moment that I could fall apart, but he was ready to pick up the pieces if need be. I knew that he was willing to be with me until I was okay. He cared for me in a way that no one has ever cared for me before.

“You mean so much to me, Louis,” I whispered, swallowing back another wave of tears.

Louis kissed my forehead, “I'll always be here for you, Jess.”

I tucked my head into his shoulder, tears rimming in my eyes. I felt overwhelmed in that moment. Overwhelmed with feelings for Louis, feelings that I hadn't felt before. I didn't know what to do with those feelings, because another part of me was being burned down at the thought of Jared. It was too much, so I cried. The only response that I could think of was to cry.

Louis pulled a blanket over our bodies, holding me close, and we laid together in silence until my mom called us down for dinner.

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