Things I can, things I can't - Larry stylinson

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Things i can, things i can't -
"you never tried like us, you never had to hide like us" - Louis Tomlinson.

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are truely madly deeply in love with each other but management won't allow them to be together without hiding so they hide from the truth. Louis Tomlinson is living a doubble life with his love. He's having a beard Eleanor Calder, Harry hates it and tries to break Louis just like Louis breakes him by sleeping with kendall jenner once. Their love fades out and to concerts everything goes wrong. They fight. They hate. They love. At one point everything starts to be to much for Harry, to much to see Louis with Eleanor, to much pain. What will happend to Harry will he survive the pain?




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7. Chapter 5 - Overcome the pain from my life


Louis point of view:

 

The door went wide open and in came Eleanor. “Louis god dammit.” She looked at me with big eyes. Her eyes went from my eyes to all of the bottles of alcohol on the table. She came up to me and looked me right in the eyes. “Louis talk to me, what’s wrong, you usually don’t drink, at least not like this.” She said with a sad voice. “Harry, he cheated on me.” I said crying, I at least tried to cry, I needed to cry and I really needed to get the pain out somehow and to drink my sorrows away felt like a good idea right now. “Louis you do the same, remember you lie to the whole world with me. You kiss me in public Louis. Imagine how hard that is for Harry to witness.” She said. I looked right at her. “I don’t need you to come here fucking talking to me like I’m the one doing the wrong thing Eleanor.” I said in my drunken state. I know she’s right though, she’s alright right and it kills me to hear the truth from someone else. “Louis stop it hurts, I think you should go in and get some sleep and call Harry tomorrow, he’s probably drunk from Niall’s party.” She said and gave me a comforting smile. I nodded and got my body up from the chair, it felt so heavy, so painful. “Call me tomorrow okay Louis, just so I know you’re alright.” She said smiling again. She gave me a hug before going out of the door as she came in. The best thing about Eleanor is that she always remains calm no matter how fucking stupid I am to her, not to mention evil.

….

The bed warmed my cold and tired body.  I closed my eyes and fell into a deep dreaming state.

“Kendall fuck.” A voice yelled. I looked around to find the source of the voice but the room was dark and it felt so empty just like my bloody hell heart without Harry. “Fuck me Harry.” A voice yelled back. Kendall’s voice. My heart stopped, it popped and it fell out of its safety box. The lights in the room went on and there they were, climbing each other like mountain climbing. Kendall was riding Harry like a bloody horse. Harry looked satisfied with his view of Kendal l on him riding him. “HARRY STOP.” I tried to yell but nobody could hear me, everything I said didn’t come through to them, like I was I my own little box of pain. “Imagine Louis if he knew.” Kendall yelled and came in an instead scream that culminated with the rooms emptiness and again the darkness fell upon the room. “Louis?” Harry’s voice called from somewhere. “Louis bloody hell, wake up.” A voice yelled again and the blackness turned into light as I was gone.

“WHAT?” I yelled and my body immediately flew up from the bed. “LOUIS.” Harry yelled. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed. He still didn’t have any fucking shirt on. He had probably just been randomly fucking Kendall to her death just like in my dream. “Harry what are you doing here?” I said calmly and took a pillow over my head, couldn’t he just leave me alone, he fucking betrayed me and everything it did was to hurt.


Harrys point of view:

 

When I got to Louis apartment my heart was pounding, I was actually pretty worried that it would fall from its cage.  I ran up the stairs and I just pushed the door open I didn’t even think about the consequences. When I came into the dark and empty apartment I searched for Louis and I found him lying in his bed having a traumatic screaming, I wanted so badly to just hug him instead I yelled his name many times. “Louis?” I said while being okay calm but when he didn’t answer I felt like I needed to do something else. “Louis bloody hell, wake up.” I yelled. If he didn’t wake up know I would seriously go out and get a bucket of cold water and threw it all over his dreaming body. As I was about to do that he woke up with an instant yell. “WHAT?” He yelled out of nowhere like he didn’t even notice I was here. “LOUIS.” I yelled to make him look at me, to make him see that I was right here next to him, but he probably didn’t care about me being right here next to him. Louis looked at me probably feeling like he wanted to kill me or something even more worse and I don’t blame him, what I did with Kendall was so stupid, how could I do that to Louis, I just.. She just... She’s just so tempting, it’s like when you put a cake right in front of a little kid and you tell him you can’t eat of the cake, that’s too damn tempting and the kid eats all the freaking cake no left overs for the family to eat. “Harry what are you doing here?” He said and placed a white pillow over his head. I know he was angry I know. “Louis I promise you we didn’t do anything, I went to the bathroom to survive I knew what I was doing was so wrong.” I said trying to keep my voice calm but it was hard, when I barely was calm. I was more nervous and feeling like cracking up than I have ever did before and it all felt painful, only pain. “Harry I don’t believe in bullshit and I don’t believe in the bullshit you’re giving right now, so what about you leave and never come back maybe fucking Kendall again would make you feel a lot better with yourself.” Louis said, he looked at me with dry eyes, not even one fucking tear, not even one emotion only dryness and hatred, hatred against me and I don’t blame him. “If this is what you want Louis.” I said and pulled my body that still felt like cracking up from the chair. I looked at him, I tried not to cry in front of him but sadly as this is I cracked some tears in front of him and I know he didn’t give a god damn shit about it. “Harry this time I’m leaving you.” He said, reminding me about the last time I broke up. It was like he seriously sat there on the bed punishing me for the thing I didn’t do, I didn’t sleep with Kendall, I didn’t, I freaking tried to let Louis know but obviously he didn’t believe in my words, so what could I do? I walked slowly out of his apartment, just to feel near him for the last seconds.

….

I locked my car as fast as I could and I ran up to my apartment, I ran into to bathroom locked the door even though I was the only one living in this apartment, it’s just a silly thing I always do just to feel a little more alone, a little more safer.  Tomorrow is the big day, where the UK tour starts of in O2 arena, I’m scared, and what if Louis won’t even talk to me. I fucked it up, I always fuck It up. I took a razorblade from the counter, my tears sat still on my cheeks, it was like the whole fucking world stood still without Louis in it. I hate that we just got it to be perfect but then it just fell down under us I think, it’s my fault though. I ran the razorblade along with the scars I have on my wrist from when I was younger and the pressure just hit me.

Flashback
My heart broke. My breath took a stroke. My life is a failure. I ran into the bathroom. I took the razorblade lying inside a little carpet, that’s the perfect hiding spot for my razorblade because no one will ever look under that carpet. It’s my dad’s razorblade, he actually once asked if I had seen it but I just lied carefully and said no and ran out playing again. My mom and dad are having a divorce and they just told me, they just told me the thing that I’m most afraid of the truth and it hurts so much, I have such a hard time thinking about how my life is going to turn out. I’m not like the other kids I seriously fancy boys, it’s so confusing to be a teenager, I meet this boy at a concert, all the bands from UK came to it just to play and there he was singing like a dream, beautiful and I wondered if I liked boys and I maybe think I do because I like Louis. It’s hard that you don’t know that thing about you self, it’s like I don’t know myself, no one does. I like girls to, that’s the weried thing about it all, I fancy boobs right that means that I like girls to, their beautiful and boys are also beautiful. Everything just collided when my mom and dad told me they were getting a divorce.

….

I scratched myself with the razorblade and I kept doing the same and the same until the blood was everywhere. This feeling of pain from my wrist would overcome the pain from my life.
Flashback ended.

(This chapter was very sad for me to write, all my feelings just came up! It hurts me to see Louis and Harry like this. Stay tuned to find out what will happend at the concert at O2 arena!! D.R.A.M.A!!)

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