Her Choice

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After their adventure in the games are finished, Katniss Everdeen flees from everything she has ever encountered. She is accompanied by her accomplice Gale Hawthorne. Together they face the struggles of raising a baby in their early twenties. Gash the baby was their trigger. They were both considered an embarrassment to society. Therefore, the family relocated to District 2. Will Peeta win her back? Will he have to face the the love of his life with his worst rival?

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2. Milestones

       “I wish that I could freeze this moment, right here right now, and live it in forever.” I sighed after waking up from my beautiful fantasy. I turn over to my side and feel around for my black and white checker boarded notebook. I use my blue pen as a bookmark so there isn’t any time to waste. “I think this was my favorite one yet,” I declare. Once I put my pen to the paper I let my brain do the rest.

The dream started when we were walking home from our lovely dinner date. We have been dating for at least two years because Katniss was wearing an anniversary ring and necklace. The silver necklace was an image a heart infinity shaped with a semi colon on the top and bottom. The gold band was sparkling under the luminous lights of the restaurant. On either side of the gold ring were two beautiful diamonds. All of a sudden it starts to down pour. Katniss starts to jog two feet ahead of me but then I yell

“Wait!” She twirls in my direction and her soaked hair falls on to her shoulder.

“What?” She screams with a stomp of her foot.

“Here,” I said as take off my red jacket revealing my “Real” tattoo. A few weeks ago I got “Real” inked into my skin so I will never forget her love for me.

“Thanks,” she replied after she uses my jacket as shelter from the rain.

“No problem beautiful,” I winked. We ambled and she interlocked fingers with mine, until I came to a halt. I released her from my grasp.

“Why did you stop?” she states.

“You know I love you right?” I questioned. Her response was pointing at my exposed tattoo.

“Let’s get married, nothing can break our incredible bond now!” I exclaimed. She moved her head closer to mine and we kissed.

“Do you want me to repeat it?” Katniss asked.

“Yes please,” I whined.

“I do.” She firmly said. That’s all I remember.

The next dream I will not include in my notebook. I’m pretty sure you could categorize it as a nightmare. In the capitol I was being held captive again and forced to tell them all my secrets. Once they were satisfied they would continue to torture and hijack me. I was programmed to kill Katniss once I got close enough. She was a threat to the capitol and had to be aborted. The easiest way I could murder her was to choke her to death. I remember in our past I did but not long enough to kill her.

In the capitol I was being held captive again and forced to tell them all my secrets. Once they were satisfied they would continue to torture and hijack me. Whips pierced my skin and blood trickled down my back. Strapped in a wooden cold chair, I was programmed to kill Katniss when I got close enough. Whenever I denied them they would shout in my face and correct me on my mission. She was a threat to the capitol and had to be aborted. In a past memory I felt my hands tighten around her neck, and her eyes became bigger. Maybe, I was too much of a burden? I guess it could be true because I am fighting a battle but with myself. Specifically I’m wrestling with my mind. Things I should forget or remember my brain can’t differentiate.  I always remember this whenever I need some cheering up “love is like an exploding cigarette. We willingly smoke even though it could potentially burn us in the end.” It reminds me to never give up.

My next thought contained another idea of why she left me. Was it because I actually did choke her and she became scared of me. Maybe, I was too much of a burden. “I am too troubled.” Which is true I am fighting a battle but with myself. Specifically I’m wrestling with my mind. Things I should forget or keep my brain, can’t differentiate. I was becoming too violent to the point that she would maybe even would have to hire bodyguards to visit me. I don’t think it would ever get that far I would kill myself before that ever happens. From the book a few things would complete my mission; her arrow, night lock, or leave me for dead. Prior she did neither instead she accompanied me. We held each other when we both had night scares. We soothed each other knowing that no one could ever break us apart.

 I think her trigger was Prims death. In front garden of their house I planted Primroses in memory of Prim. Prim was really the only family she had left after her father died in a mining accident and her mother went kind of crazy. Along with a deep depression that caused her to forget where her priorities were. Her mother is still alive but she didn’t wish upon them marrying or running away so early in their adulthood. Katniss turned twenty and Gale turned twenty two. It didn’t take very long to have Gash. On the other hand, was she forced to give life to a son? No I don’t think so she’s to independent she would have fled if she felt trapped and imprisoned. Gash was made out of true love apparently. She told me that when she was ready she would present all her love to the guy she truly loved. I wonder if there’s still room for me? There has to be. It will be my duty until the day I perish.

I am managing to keep another notebook but this contains some deepest darkest secrets. Any secrets either about me, Katniss or both of us. It’s just a matter of keeping it safe. If anyone gets to close or I feel invaded I will burn it. I thought of this as a coping method and so I will never forget the past again. In the first page I wrote about Katniss’ father mining accident. That was really important to Katniss and me. Then next paragraph is about our future. We would have had a picture perfect family. I know that Katniss wasn’t looking for commitment but I could convince her somehow.my lucky number is two. That’s how many kids we planned to have. We thought about truly getting pregnant during our times in the arena. We wanted to make good on our little lie. I think we would of but there wasn’t enough privacy. Also it was hard knowing that the whole world would be watching. If felt a little strange and uncomfortable at that point.

I do recall one night that we lost ourselves in the moment and we promised each other. Another thought suddenly hit me what if Gash is my blood?! Maybe Gale forced her to flee with him and claim that Gash was his. Katniss’ mother never liked me either. She probably thought that Gale would appreciate and care for Katniss more. Thus, she could have thought of the idea instead. All I know right now that I can’t trust anyone.

Today I will journey to district two and prove my abounding love is true. I’m sure of it that Gash is mine. This is the only possibility I know that will stop fueling the fire in my heart to fight. Gash never resembled either of them he looked like a spitting image of me. He obtains my blonde hair and blue eyes. The capitol says he’s a spitting image of me. Last year’s headlines read “Peeta’s Peanut!” There was a lot of speculation that year the next article captioned “Who’s the Father?”

***

As I am approaching the gloomy brown dwelling I notice that there is someone visible through the window. All I can make out is a dark tall silhouette. I kick small grey pebbles all the way up to the front step. Waiting for anyone to acknowledge my knock, I start to play with the hem of my white long sleeve pullover. Footsteps echo all throughout the house and the ground shook with every movement. “I will never give up on you,” I whisper as the chocolate colored door slowly creaked open, allowing me to squeeze inside. I survey my surroundings until a shadow revealed an intruder.

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