Story of My Life (Video and Explanation)

It is as the title says.

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1. Story of My Life

There was a time in the story of my life that I probably would have been too insecure to want to do this contest. But I did want to do this contest. Oh my word I did. So that's good. It means I am growing in confidence.

As is depicted in my video, I am moving. It has been a long, frustrating, sometimes seemingly unfruitful process. I have moved two other times in my life. All three homes are just a few minutes walk from each other. The house we live in now is literally across the street from one of my aunt's house. Only one family member lives more than a half an hour away from me. We are an extremely close, loving, and crazy family.

And now I want to move away from them. Not just an hour, not just a state. The complete opposite side of the United States.

My mother has always dreamed of being a singer. Every. Single. Day. Of. Her. Life.

Two of my cousins are about my age. We have always been the three musketeers. And before us, our moms and our grandma have been best friends. My family gets together every holiday, usually on the day of the holiday, without fail. We make up any possible excuse to get together. We love each other beyond belief.

I have grown up in church. I have grown up having a relationship with God. Because that's what it's about. It's not about religion and rules. My mother wants to be a singer. It is her dream. It is God's promise.

The best place to be a singer is California. You could probably ask anyone where you should go and that's one of the places they'd list, if not the only. There are other places, but that is the best, at least to us. That is where we want to be. It is warm. We live in a place where winter comes around and it snows and it's cold and my mother and me can never get warm. It is an internal coldness as well as external. It is a coldness we can't fight. We just don't belong here.

As cheesy as it sounds, I have One Direction Infection. There it is. I caught it and I spread it as much as I can, simply because it pleases me to picture the things I am speaking and to feel their names leave my lips. Especially Harry's. Especially Harry's. Especially Harry's. The boy frustrates me and breaks my heart. But he makes me smile every day and most of the reason he frustrates me and breaks my heart is because he doesn't know me yet. If only he would know me.

No, not only. I will be the first to admit that. I've tried to stop using words like “only” and “just” because I know one thing leads to another. You get what you ask for and you never stop wanting more. You keep going, you try to get every possible thing. Sometimes more than what a person could ever give. You don't want to stop asking. Why would you? It's human nature. Why shouldn't you want everything you can get?

Most fan girls are pretty much written off by non-fan girls immediately. And for good reason if you ask me. I know fan girls are fickle. They move onto the next big thing as quickly as they started obsessing over the last. These girls can be dramatic and annoying. But sometimes, sometimes maybe, you can find a girl who is loyal. A girl who sticks with her band. A girl who truly loves her band.

I am a directioner. I love them. I love Story of My Life. I love their music. I love their personality. I love those boys. I truly believe most people don't like them because they think most people do. Or we worry about what other people would think. We want to be cool. It's too “mainstream” to like pop and boy bands. We strive so hard to be different sometimes, we loose a sense of what we actually like. We only care about feeling that we're not like everyone else.

Say what you want, but something I've read online is so true. Something along the lines of “A girl's favorite band has and will always be there for her. They have never hurt her.” It's so true if you think about it. Her favorite band has never broken her. They have never disappointed her. They have never let her down. They're only there to pick her up and make her happy. She feels as though she knows them and whenever she needs them, they will be there. Maybe it's an escape from reality, but don't we all need that sometimes? Don't we all strive to find the thing in life that distracts us? That always gives us a peace when our life is insane?

My house is for sale and I have no idea when it will be sold. My family knows the plan is to move to California. It is already weighing on them. I stubbornly did not want to move at all at first. Not from my house, not from the state, certainly not from the east coast. I am growing every day and each day I become more impatient to be in California already.

Every open house feels like the last. We rush around to clean and we hope and pray. Every get together feels like the last. I feel I am saying goodbye to everything I know every single day. I am discouraged every time it is not. Yes, I feel impatient to go. But what else can I do but wait?

There is no such thing as coincidences. If you were taking this journey with me, you would be able to see that. You would know it in your heart, too.

I hope you like my Story of My Life video. I liked making it and looking through all the pictures and visiting family. We are wrapping up here. This video is part of the process. Every day we are wrapping things up. It is a matter of time. It is a matter of God's perfect time. We are moving. The only question is when.

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