Happy Ever After

This is a sequel to 'Everything Changes'
If you haven't read that one you will need to before reading this

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5. Hope...

I cried myself to sleep on Justin's chest last night. I haven't cried myself to sleep in a long time. We were both sitting in the front room, where we fell asleep, neither of us have said a word about what happened last night,  I was about to say something, but Justin beat me to it

"Fay, you need to go to the police" he urged

"No, i don't want to talk about" i sighed

"Fay, if you don't he will be out there walking free" he raised his voice

He wasn't angry at me, he was hurting for me. I had heard him talking to himself last night when he thought i was sleeping. He was blaming himself for this. It wasn't his fault at all. It was that sick sick animal. He done this to us. 

"Justin" i started, but was cut of by him

"Fay, please, if not for yourself, then for all the future women you'll be saving from going through it" he pleaded

"Fine, but i don't want anyone to find out" i  whispered

"They won't" he gave a weak smile and kissed the top of my head

I stood up and walked upstairs and climbed and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until my body was redraw. I couldn't feel the pain, i couldn't feel anything except dirty. I felt like filth. I slowly climbed out the shower and put on a pair of leggings and a huge coat. I walked downstairs and put my converse on.

I looked at Justin who was in a grey tracksuit. He walked over to me and slowly grabbed my hand. We walked out the front door and towards Justin's car. We both climbed in and he started the engine. He headed towards the police station. When we arrived, Justin pulled me towards him, just incase the paps were about.

We walked in, and everyone stared at us. Justin walked over to an officer and explained that we needed to speak. He told Justin to follow him, which we did. He led us to a room, he motioned for us to go in. 

"Right so how can i help" he smiled taking a seat opposite us

"I want to report a....sexual assault" i croaked

The officers face turned from jolly too hard and stern 

"This is a very serious matter" he began

"I know, that's why i'm here" i mumbled

"Right well, let's start from the beginning" he replied

I looked at Justin, i was terrified. I was going to have to relive it all again. Justin gave me a sympathetic nod and slid his hand into mine.

"I was home alone, and a knock at the door woke me up, it was about 7pm, so i answered it and a man was standing there, he asked to borrow a phone as his car had broken down, i invited him in and showed him to the phone, he then asked if i had a toilet he could use, i then showed him to the toilet and he was gone rather long so i went to check on him, and well the door was unlocked and" tears were starting to fall down my face now, and Justin's hand squeezed mine. I smiled weakly at him before continuing. 

"And i opened the door, and then someone grab me from behind, and dragged me upstairs into the guest bedroom. I tried to yell out for help, but he shoved some sort of material into my mouth" I was cut of by the officer

"Did you get a good look at the man" he asked

"Yeah urm, he was about your height, short black hair, urm dark brown eyes, he had a small tattoo on his arm, and urm he sounded like he might of been from New York?" i answered

"Ok, and did you keep the piece of material?" he asked

"No, sorry. I burnt everything this morning" i mumbled

"Ok, well later we will have to come round and examine the room it happened in, is that ok?" he asked

"Yeah sure" i smiled

"You may continue" he stated

"So, he tied my to one of the spare beds and, well, raped me" i whispered, tears streaming down my face. 

I stood up and shook my head. 

"Sorry officer, i should go" i cried, walking out of the door. 

I walked out of the building and towards Justin's car, he come running out and unlocked the car and drove us home. When we arrived i froze in the car. I felt someone pulling me, which caused me to scream for help 

"Baby it's me, calm down" Justin soothed

"I'm so sorry" i cried into his chest

"It's alright" he assured me

He helped me inside. He sat down on the sofa and laid my head onto his lap. He looked into my eyes. I looked back into his and could see the hurt and sadness that filled them. It was then that something snapped inside me. I didn't want to sit around crying all day and being paranoid incase the creep come back, i didn't want to be some broken girl, no.

I was going to be strong about this, i was going to carry on living my life as if this had never happened. I didn't want that sick pervert to get the satisfaction from me mopping about. But would it be easy to pretend that it never happened? Probably not, but then again, who likes the easy way? I sat up from Justin's lap and turned round so i was facing him.

"What do you want to do tonight" I smiled

"Are you alright" he frowned

"Never been better" i lied

"Fay, it's ok to be upset" he started

"I'm not upset, well i was, but i'm not anymore" i lied again

"Fay, you don't have to pretend" he assured

"I'm not, honestly i'm fine" i lied through a laugh

I stood up and walked into the kitchen and started to make some lunch, i started to cut the cucumber. Chop chop chop chop chop. I stopped chomping and stared blankly down at the knife. I could end my life right now, and all my pain would go away without me having to pretend. I hoovered the knife above my wrist. 

Wait. How could i be so selfish, if i ended my life i would also be ending a part of Justin's life. We was getting married for christ sake. I moved the knife away and thought about it. This wasn't fair on him. I couldn't do that to him. Ever. I put the knife in the sink and continued with the lunch. 

We ate lunch, neither us have spoken to the other one yet. I could feel him looking at me. Justin knew i was lying about being alright. But i didn't want to admit it to him, cause then i would be admitting it to myself, i was hoping that if i pretended long enough, it would soon become true. I guess all i can do is hope...

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