Guilty


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1. The court room

I felt like the world was watching me. The judges eyes bore into my own, cold and unforgiving. They bore into mine just as they had bore into those before me. I was looking into the eyes of justice, and boy did they want it. I pleaded guilty for I was, but I didn't mean to do it. I just wanted her to stop. I just wanted it to stop. I sat in silence biting the inside of my cheek and wrapping my hands around each other endlessly. My breath was shallow and unstable and my heartbeat, irregular, raced like the footing of a desperate greyhound. I wish I hadn't bought that bottle of vodka. I wish she was still mine. A flash of her blazing eyes flitted across my vision but it soon vanished as the murmur of voices grew to a close. A small button-nosed woman in a tweed jacket stood up, and avoiding my eyes announced "guilty". My face remained expressionless as I knew the verdict, but nothing could prepare me for the line that came next. Nothing could prepare me for the knowledge of my fate. "Miss Sally Hanaby on behalf of the royal court of law I here-by sentence you to three life sentences, and capital punishment". Capital punishment. The words rang in my head like tinnitus over and over. like tinnitus over and over. My vision began to blur, my head began to throb like a thousand drum beats over and over. I felt myself falling as I screamed No! No! No! Over and over as I hit the floor, I barely felt the contact. My voice faded to a shallow whisper, a rasp. I felt all consciousness leave my body and I blacked out. It was bliss. It was nothing. It was peace. I woke up spluttering and grasping for a solid object, anything. My fingers wrapped around the arm of something soft and forgiving. It pulled me up and stood me on my feet, as my eyes began to see through the blur surrounding them a voice spoke to me. Hey, are you feeling ok? My name is Ellen, you must be the new girl around here. I listened to your case on the radio. You;ve got your work cut out for you here sweetheart. Her voice was strong and sadistic, yet soothing and caring. Everything came rushing back to me and an overwhelming flood of emotions swept over me. I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe. I started to sob uncontrollably, my whole body shook and I covered my streaming face with my hands. I was pathetic. An overwhelming feeling of rage overcame me and I screamed through my tears. FUCK. Ellen gestured to me. There no use being emotional. You'll just make it worse for yourself. I found that out the hard way.I gathered my wits about me and slowly looked around the room. Grey merciless walls stared back at me. A flood of dread fell through my body settling itself in my stomach, writhing and tormenting me until I felt on the edge of emptying it's content. I bent over clutching my stomach and I felt a reassuring slide slowly over my back, rubbing it gently back and forth. I wretched violently, I felt a swamp of viscous liquid force itself up my throat, obstructing my breathing as it gushes onto the floor. My body convulsed harder and I felt my

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