The Secret Instagram

Blurb Who would want me I'm just me. I've been the same old Jess for 13 years nothing special here. Who would want a girl that suffers from post traumatic stress who lost her best friend , the girl who's family doesn't want her anymore. Why would they want me and love me when I don't even love myself. I promised Brenden I would accept them. But what happens if they don't accept me. ? Maybe they are my ticket to seeing Michael again but I can't leave Bodee. What if he will leave me first? What if they find my Secret Instagram

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3. I need to be strong for them...

 

Jess's POV 

I knew he was right so I mumbled one thing that I truly meant with all of my being then fell into a deep sleep.

"I love you too"

i woke up and looked around at my surroundings I wasn't asleep on brenden anymore and I wasn't in the tree house. I was in my room. This is the one place that I always vented and got away from the world other than the treehouse. I finally got up and grabbed a new notebook I needed it to plan Becca's funeral I bet not most 11 year olds can say that they are planning there best friends funeral . Becca's mom asked me if I would do it cause I knew becca better than I knew myself. I started with the decor I decided I would have black ribbons hanging on each chair and that black roses would cover the floor. I moved on to the music. See this was the most important thing in becca's and my life. Even though our music is totally different I never judged her on her music and she never judged mine cause we both knew this was the one thing that made us who we are and how it explains us. I decided that when people her were looking at her in her casket Bring me the Horizon would play. The one thing I was positive that I was going to play for when I was doing my speech was hold on till May by pierce the veil this was the one song me and becca bonded over. Now to the hardest part of this writing my speech.

One week later 

Becca's funeral 

I sat there and watched as everyone looked at becca's lifeless body in the casket I couldn't bring my self to look at it so I stood there and watched everyone else. Once everyone was done it was time for my speech. 

"Hello, everyone. I'm Jessica some of you may know me others may not I don't see how though me and becca were practically joined at the hip since we were 4.I remember the first day I met Becca it was my first day of pre-school I walked into the class room and looked for an empty seat the only one left was beside this one little girl. So I walked over and sat next to her and when I sat down the first thing she said to me was " HI IM BECCA WHATS YOUR FACE" I will never forget those words because little did I know I just met my best friend for life. A couple years went by and becca and I got closer than ever we did every thing together we even completed each other's sentences. As the next two years went on becca started to change and she became different some days she was on top of the world other days it broke my heart to see how much depression was getting to her. I tried my best to help her but I always knew it was never enough. I knew this day would happen and I knew I would have to do this I just never imagined it would be this soon but I remembered one thing becca told me the most so that when this day was here I could understand why and I could explain it to everyone else . At first I didn't understand what she wanted me to pass on but soon I realized what it meant . She wanted me to tell everyone here not to cry over her or feel like it was there fault because. She has been dead on the inside for awhile. I know this is hard to deal with me but believe me when I say this is what she has wanted for along time. See becca tried to control these thoughts but nothing ever helped. That when I knew that this is what god had planned for her. She was meant to be a angel the only thing holding her down was the demons inside of her. I love you Becky and I will always remember you I hope you finally get to be happy and meet Mitch. Just know that we will always think of you forever and always." I went back to my seat and sat down I didn't cry because I knew this is what made becca the happiest and I was ok with that for now.

 

 

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