Hate Me

After a shocking experience in his past, sixteen year old Christian Rothschild is left with twin babies: Clarice and Jacob - their mother Amber long out of the picture. Twenty-six year old art teacher Alex Archer is a divorcee left alone with his four year old Elijah. His life has long since been happy.
What happens when these two meet at a single parent's club? And even more, what happens with Christian goes home with Alex?
Can Alex get over his homophobia, and keep afloat with all he's got on his plate? And can Christian keep their relationship secret, when he is on the rise to fame?


2. Christian

“I don’t feel sad about it all…not much, anyway.” I told my therapist, and he noted something down.

“Have you still got thoughts about Amber?” He asked, and I breathed in sharply.

“Of course – she was my only friend…and I let her down.” I explained, closing up on myself a little.

“But you do know you have friends other than her. Your friend Cathleen never gave up on you.” He prodded, and I nodded mechanically. “Yeah, I know she didn’t. But…she just, she wasn’t there, she doesn’t understand.” I was getting a little impatient. I’d gone over this literally a hundred times with him. I knew Cathleen was there for me. “Does that mean she’s not a true friend just because she wasn’t there with you? Do you feel that she let you down because she wasn’t there?” His calm voice pissed me off. It sounded like he was accusing me. I slammed my fist down on the table next to me. “No! I know Cathleen is there for us! I know she’s a true friend! All I’m saying is that he doesn’t understand what I went through! Amber did, but I couldn’t…” my lip quivered, and I was unable to finish the sentence.

“How are the twins?” He asked, changing the topic. I looked down, feeling stupid for getting angry.

“They’re fine.” I replied quietly.

I hear social services check up on you guys last week, how did that go?” He queried and I smiled.

“They said I was doing a good job.” I replied a little proudly. The therapist smiled,

“I would have to agree with them. Clarice and Jacob are two brilliant kids and they are lucky to have a father like you.” He complimented and I grinned. “My parents help me a lot…and so do Amber’s. I’m thinking about quitting tutoring and going back to school.” I told him, and he raised his eyebrows, checking to see if I was serious. “I thought the tutoring worked well for you. You could stop to feed the twins or change them when you needed to. What makes you want to give that up?” He queried. I don’t think he was taking any notes on me anymore. It made me feel slightly better that he actually gave a damn about me – that I wasn’t just a patient. “School is only six hours – plus right now I count as sixth form, so it might be even less. I just think that I’ve never spent so much time apart from them and I get scared that I’ll become one of those overly attached dads who dote on their kids twenty-four/seven.” I chuckled, “And they’re one now – I think it would be good for me to be apart from them. I mean, in the future when my career takes off I’ll be away from them, so I might as well get used to it.” I explained, and he nodded.

“That sounds like a good idea – you’re a great dad, Christian. I don’t doubt your judgement one bit.” He said. We both knew it as our last session together – I no longer needed his help. I think we were both a bit sad, really. I’d grown used to seeing him every week. As I stood up to retrieve my coat, the doctor stopped me. “Just a minute, Christian.” He added – pulling a few sheets of paper out of his draw. “I found a list of child-minders and child-parent activities you might like.” He handed the list to me and I smiled fondly. “Thank you so much.” I replied, skimming through all of the groups listed.

I left the office, and jogged through the corridors of the clinic back to the waiting room. My mother crouched next to my two, smiling as they played with toys in the children’s corner. She caught sight of me, and stood up. Clarice and Jacob caught on that I was there after my mother stood up. They both toddled towards me yelling “daddy!” – Or at least their version of the word. I hugged the two of them close to me, repeating their names to them, before strapping them back into their double-pram. “Oof.” I mockingly exclaimed as I lifted Jacob into his seat, and strapped him in. “You two are getting too big for this pram!” I added, pretending the two of them were heavy for me. They both wiggled and shrieked and giggled in response to my voice. My babies always tended to do that when they hear my voice. I heard somewhere babies listened more to the tone of your voice then what you were saying, and it would make a lot of sense if that were the case. Mum smiled at me as I stood up, “what’re those?” she asked, indicating towards the sum of papers in my hands.

“He gave me a list of child-parent groups our area offer.” I told her, and she smiled. “That was a kind thing to do.” She took the papers from me and I took hold of the handlebars of the pram and pushed it forward.

The cold air hit us once we got into the parking lot. “What did he think about you going back to school?” She queried, and I sighed. My breath was visible in the winter breeze. The sky was the usual British grey. Somehow that monotone thick cloud that seemed to permanently loiter above my country satisfied me a bit. “He didn’t doubt my judgement.” I told her, and it was my mother’s turn to sigh. “Chris, I’m going to be honest with you – I don’t think you can go back to school. I know I’m your mother, and I should encourage your academics, and I have – that’s why you have your GCSEs.” She began, and I looked down. “But do you really need to go back? You have two babies, and you have your band that’s just starting to gain popularity. What do you need sixth form for?” She asked, and I shook my head, smiling sadly. “My band members are adults. You and dad are adults. Mr. and Mrs Ferry are adults. Caleb, Ashley and Summer-” For clarification, the Ferry couple are Amber’s parents, and Caleb, Ashley and Summer are my older brothers and sister. Only Caleb had a child – he was the only other one of us to have children. “-are adults. I know I’m sixteen – I should be mature, but I just want to talk with my age group. I’m already losing touch with Cathleen. I’m aging prematurely here.” I argued, and she breathed out sadly.

“That’s what happens when you have children.” She muttered, and I glared.

“It wasn’t my fault that Clarice and Jacob were born.” I whispered under my breath, instantly regretting talking about my children that way.

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