Hate Me

After a shocking experience in his past, sixteen year old Christian Rothschild is left with twin babies: Clarice and Jacob - their mother Amber long out of the picture. Twenty-six year old art teacher Alex Archer is a divorcee left alone with his four year old Elijah. His life has long since been happy.
What happens when these two meet at a single parent's club? And even more, what happens with Christian goes home with Alex?
Can Alex get over his homophobia, and keep afloat with all he's got on his plate? And can Christian keep their relationship secret, when he is on the rise to fame?

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17. Alexander

I sat with my head in my hands for some time. Why the hell did I just do that? I fucked everything up. I could go to prison for what I did with Chris. I was confused. Confused about my feelings for him, my feelings for myself. I stood up, picked up my phone, and dialled my best friend’s number. It rang a few times before he picked up. “Hey, Alex, what’s up?” Nick answered, I sighed,

“Have you done with work?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m on my way home. Why?”

“I fucked up, Nick. I screwed up so bad.” And from years of knowing me, he understood I would explain when he got to my home, so he just put the phone down.

He came knocking on my door a few minutes later, and I got up to let him in. “What did you do, Alex?” He asked instantly. I showed him through to the living room. “Y’know those students we ran into a few weeks ago in town?” I asked, he nodded. “And you remember Christian, right?” he nodded as well. I bit my lip, and looked down. “I’m not proud of myself.”

“Alex, what did you do?”

“I had sex with him.” I whimpered. He just stared at me. he looked shocked, horrified.

“he’s like sixteen years old.” He said. I nodded,

“I know-”

“Alex. I have supported you through many things…but this is…it’s weird. He’s ten years younger than you, man. I didn’t even think you liked guys.”

“I don’t know if I do, or if I don’t.” I replied quietly. I felt like a little kid being told off. Nick rubbed his temples. “Jesus, didn’t you experiment when you were a teenager?” I stared at him with an are-you-stupid look. “I’ve never…though about guys like that before! I was always sure that I was straight. I never… I;ve never once looked at a guy and thought I liked them.” Nick sat down,

“Do you think it’s because of Christian’s…age?” I stared at him,

“I’m not a freak, Nick! I wouldn’t…I’m not a pedo.” I grumbled. Nick nodded.

“well….err… I don’t know what you like. I’m just suggesting things, but seriously. I don’t get this. You’re like the straightest guy I know.” he answered. I just sat back and he sighed again. “What happened to the kid? Christian? What did you do with him?” I drew my knees up close to me.

“I kicked him out.” I answered meekly. He sighed, and put his head in his hands. He stayed like this for some time before sitting up again. “who started it?” He asked.

“Chris did.” I told him honestly.

“And what? You just…decided you were gunna keep going? You decided he was worth possibly losing everything?” He pressed. I shrugged,

“I guess I did, yeah.” I eventually told him, and I chuckled weakly. “He’s in a band, Nick. When was the last time a celebrity had a crush on you?” I retorted. He smiled, before continuing. “So let me get this straight.” And I thought to myself, what an unfortunate choice of words considering what we were discussing. “Christian is attractive, he’s definitely interested in you, he’s famous and young…and you kicked him out?” I bit my lip, and nodded. “Why? What’s wrong with him?” He asked queried.

I felt the need to smoke, and went outside, Nick following.  I lit the cigarette, and took a long drag. “He’s a guy. Even if he did get together, my parents would never accept it. Number two, I have a child with autism, and he has infant twins to look after. We would never have that much time together. Three…Amber was his closest companion and, even if he is gay, he loves her. She died only like a year and a half ago. I didn’t feel like he’s given himself time to mourn. I feel like…he’s latching from her to me, and I really hate that feeling.” I said. Nick watched me expectantly,

“and?” he urged. I breathed out, the smoke catching the wind above our heads.

“And what?” I retorted. He shrugged,

“sounds like you weren’t finished.” I licked my lips, and put the cigarette to my lips, thinking. I sighed. “He…he stabbed someone. Whether he had to or not. He still killed somebody, and…”

“You’re afraid of him?” He asked. I shook my head,

“I’m afraid of you letting him around me. of what he could do to me when I’m not at my best. I know he had to do it, and I feel awful for using it against him. But it scares me.” I admitted. Nick paused.

“But you still had sex with him, so obviously it didn’t bother you too much.” He scoffed.

“And that’s where I’m confused.” I explained.

“So, like I was explaining, why don’t you go find out whether you like other guys or not.” I stared at him. “Would you really do that for me?” he rolled his eyes,

“Oh God no, Alex. You’re my friend, but I’m not going to a gay club with you. Take…Harrison. He’ll be happy to take you.” He advised and I winced.

“Harrison’s a gossipy bitch.” I countered.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” He asked, and then grinned, “Oh wait, no. You kiss your student with that mouth.” I smacked him one, but I couldn’t help chuckling to myself. “He’s not even my student. He just goes to the same high school I teach at.” I defended. Nick watched me.

“I still think it’s weird, but I find it even more weird that you pushed him away.” He patted my shoulder. “I guess I do too.” I breathed out, watching the smoke. 

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