Lost

This is the final part of the Cyber Louis triology, check both out before reading. After years of torture and distress Reiss has finally made a better life for himself, with his sister Rae and Louis. But even he can't escape his darkest thoughts and his unforgettable past. Rae has found love and he wants so badly to let go and be free, but is it really that simple, is he too lost to be found?

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8. Chapter 8

Rae's POV
I trudged up and down the hallway trying to get my head around this. How can I sit here and let Reiss fall for her when she's related to him? I cringed thinking of Kyle and his wicked ways. But this isn't her fault, you can't help who you're related to, I should know that more than anyone. Louis wrapped his arms around me, the way he did when I was upset. I held his arm and lent my head back into his chest. "I can't go through this again Lou" I whispered.
He kissed me on my head and turned me around to face him "he hasn't seen her in years Rae, why would he come now?" 
But that seemed obvious to me "bad things always catch up to me, and no that's not me being paranoid" I said before he could say anything.
He kissed me on the lips "we're together now, nothing could get in between that you know that right?" he asked slightly panicked.
"Of course" I said without a doubt, "it's just..."
He shook his head "stop analyzing this Rae, please" he pouted and I felt myself smile. I kissed him and wrapped both my arms around his waist "okay" I whispered. 

Lily had gone home and until now Reiss has been in his room. I smiled at him as he sat down on the sofa flushed "what's up with you?" I asked. 
"I don't know what I'm doing" his voice was shaky as he controlled his tears.
I sat down next to him "talk to me."
He looked at me "I can't escape this feeling Rae, it won't go it never goes, and then there's her she makes me feel different, sort of alive. But I can't go there with her, I won't it's not fair to her or to me."
"Why is it unfair?" I asked.
"Bad things follow us Rae, this is just one of those things" he sighed.
I began to raise my voice "never let that change anything, Reiss if she makes you happy go for it. I don't want to hear how it's bad, because you deserve to be happy, she's nice."
"Really?" he raised his brow "because if dinner has anything to say for it, you and Lou don't think much of her."
I let out a groan of frustration "fuck what we want Reiss this about you, I don't have a problem with her as such, it's a long story."
"A story you're not willing to tell me" he said not much as a question. I answered anyway "it's better if you don't know."
"I kissed her" he blurted out and I looked at him in surprise. Reiss hasn't opened up to me in years, I've missed this.
"And how was it?" I asked leaning my head on my hand.
"I don't know I can't explain it" he said a smile creeping on his face.
"It made you feel like you mattered" I said looking down at the floor.
He nodded and I wrapped my arm around him "it's true, but believe that you matter with or without her okay?" He brushed it off and kissed my forehead "I'm going to sleep, see you tomorrow." 

Reiss has been distant for as long as I can remember, it's not his fault it's theirs. What our mum and dad did to him from such a young age has affected him, more than it ever affected me. Louis had washed the plates and came and sat down next to me leaning his head on my arm. "Do you ever wish we went to spain?" he asked me, concentrating on his hand in mine. I shrugged "maybe, but this isn't about us Lou, I think Reiss finally has a chance of finding someone."
"I know but if this doesn't work out we're going" he demanded and I smiled. I pulled him on to me and wrapped my legs around his waist, his body reacted with mine as wrapped his arms around my body and lent his head on my chest. "I could stay like this forever" I mumbled into his ear. I chuckled realising he had fallen asleep - I guess he could too. I adjusted myself so I was more comfortable and closed my eyes. 

Reiss' POV

Now you know who I am, and I guess I feel exposed like you're seeing me for who I really am - weak. Years I have tried to get away from that label, to stop being a fragile little boy, and now I have grown up and I'm still that same little boy, only older. I've thought about giving up with this blog, now that you know, but I thought fuck it. You need to get to know me, for me and I can't give you that through words, so here it is. I am lost and I need someone to bring me back.

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