how could I forget? (sequel to last minute love)

'she's been under for a while now.' the voice says but drops to a whisper when they say 'She shouldn’t be alive'
'how?' my foster mum asks. She took me in after my other foster mother abused me and kicked me out, she wasn't too bad but she didn't cook so when I was hungry I would have to walk into town and by my own.
'we don’t know, its a miracle'
I should be dead. I cant be alive. I remember slipping from life into death. I WATCHED HARRY'S TEARS FALL TO MY FACE AND RUN DOWN AS IF THEY WERE MY OWN.

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13. Chapter 12

(A/N

I'm sorry this took so long, I've had writer block for a while now... :/)

I get pulled down the stairs and out onto the street, some people looked but soon looked away like it was nothing. Why weren't they helping us!? It's not like these guys were being covert, you could clearly see me struggling in his grip and yet they just turn their head.

I think I might of struggled too much because when I saw a black van down the street I also saw a sharp needle in front of me 'wha--' I mumble into his hand as it pierced my skin. I feel cool liquid, almost like jello, burst into my veins and then a sharp pain and a shrill voice rang through my head 'S-Sam' I try to look up but my eyelids fall closed.

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I don't know how long I was out like but I felt every second pass waiting in the darkness until the light hits my mind and my muscles respond to my pulsing receptors, to the signals I sent out ages ago. When I do see a faint light I reach for it mentally.. and physically, I see my arm in front of me 'I-I'm awake?' I look around and a wave of deja vu hits me, where have I seen this room before? I look around to the sparse white walls and memories of Niall flush through my mind, his shy smile the first time we met and his bleached blond hair, his clear bracers when he laughed.. along with the pain of the knife cutting through my chest, I shiver at the thought of a knife peircing my chest without any pain medicine.

I look down and see a white dress, not like one of those hospital gowns but more like a flowing summer dress, I look into my gown and see a rough scar running down my chest, from the “inspection” that creepy old doctor gave me.

I guess I forgot about all that.. and I guess it would be better if I forget now, then none of this would make me cringe or remind me how stupid I am for forgetting these simple things and making people remind me.

 

'Hello again' I hear an old voice say and I open my eyes, looking over my shoulders I see a gray ponytail and a crisp white lab coat and I groan, I feel the scar on my chest pulse, speak of the devil 'I saw you check that precious scar of yours' He chuckles 'what do you think of my handiwork?'

I turn over fully and stare at his back as he work on something 'Fuck you' I seethe not moving from my spot although I know I should be running from the man that cut me open.

'that isn't a very nice thing to say' he turns and smiles at me.. the same smile that he had when he pulled out a scouple. I look to his hand and see it behind his back 'oh.. this?' he says nodding to his right arm 'do you want to know what this is?' he laughs again

'do I want to know?' I feel the venom seep into my voice

'yess you do' he takes a step closer and I shuffle back into the corner of my bed 'don't worry, I won't hurt you this time' he said with slight anger in his gruff voice 'here' he thrusts a folder towards me and I flinch at his actions 'TAKE IT' he yells and I jump of the bed causing my bones to crack and my muscles to shake.

I walk a step and my knees collapse underneath me, I fall to the ground in a thud and Prof. Oak sighs throwing the folder on my body.

I crawl to a wall and lean myself against it as I open the folder. I peek inside and I see writing so I pull it out.

 

Dear Tara,

We had you in the “facility” a while ago until there was a.. systematical error and you were misplaced. But it's okay now that we found you and escorted you back. Although we did misplace one of our members and we hope that you wont mind if we have a friend take their place.

WHAT THE FUCK!? They will not take my BEST FRIEND, his family practically raised me. He means too much to me for me to let him go.

I skim over the rest hoping there was a way for me to get Sam back but all it really told me that I would be staying here under supervision for at least 3 years and that Sam would never be working my case.. Even though I was fixed now and I would NOT be telling them anything about what happened even though I am curious.

I wonder if I am fixed, I wonder where Sam is at the moment.. I wonder if he'll turn out like Niall and forget everything, even me.

I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to go home with Sam and spend my days eating sticky date pudding with a big fat cat on my lap.

God I wish I had a cat with me now so I could pet him and hear the comforting purrs coming from his chest.

I think of a cat to pass my time and I had decided on a name after long hours of thinking 'mhmm, his name will be!... Polo!, in short I will call him cat' I sigh at the though, owning a cat would make my whole life better and I wouldn't have to deal with people all the time.. People can be hard to understand unlike cats, all they want from you is love and food were as people want Money, Time, Feelings, Land, All your possessions and in the end they end up kissing your best friend and ignoring you during high school... Okay so maybe thats just Eric and now I know that he didn't really mean it, unless Liam faked it and what Eric said wasn't true.

I ramble on about things in my head until I feel tired and then I climb back into my cold white bed trying to find some warmth but all I feel is the hard mattress underneath me.

My eyes slip shut and I sleep as well as I can until I get woken by something...

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When I open my eyes I instantly know that I'm dreaming because I'm back in that white room that I was in when I found my mum, it looked bare now that it had no one direction posters on it and I realize how much I miss Harry's face, skin, sound, smell, touch.. I just miss all of him.

I see the door I had tried last time and I walk over to it hoping this time it would be open, I reach for the handle and my fingers lightly touch it 'I wouldn't do that' I hear Liam's deep voice say

'why?' I ask not turning around because I already know who it is

'because on the other side of that door is the truth..' why would the truth be a bad thing? What could possibly be so horrible? I think of Sam and what would be happening.. Turns out it wasn't a thought it was a glimpse of what was on the other side.

'is that..' I trail of

'yeah' he sighs and I quickly twist the nob throwing the door open and the first thing that hits me is the painful cries that were shrill in my ears

'Sam!' I throw myself through the door and I land in a cascading light from above 'Sam?!' I call as I shield my eyes trying to see further but nothing helped 'Sam where are you!?' I call as loud as I can and it echoes back to my own ears

'we're seeing his mind right now' Liam says, I turn around and I'm shocked at how pale he looked, there were deep bags under his eyes and the light was completely gone from his eyes. He looked like sorrow personified, a robot with a script and no emotions, like someone who had lost it all..

He shut the door that we had come through and I see it disappear, I really wanted to run back trough it but I'm sure robot Liam wouldn't let me 'why is it so white?' I look around again hoping I wouldn't have to see Liam this way

'they've gotten rid of his memories' My heart skips a beat as I hear the voice change into one that owned my heart, I hoped that he didn't look as bad as Liam and I slowly turn around. First I see the brown curls then I see the piercing green eyes that looked like frosted grass on a cold morning, his eyes were much warmer but he had bags under his eyes just like Liam

'Harry?' my breathing hitched and I take a step closer 'Harry.. Whats going on?' I whisper trying to keep myself from crying in front of him

'there's nothing left of you' his voice was void of feeling and I shiver at how dry his words were, this wasn't my Harry.

'Harry, where are you? I want you back' I slip to the floor and hold my knees to my chest, I hear him walk closer and I look up.

He kneels next to me 'He doesn't know you anymore and he doesn't care' a tear slips from my eye and I reach for him but he stands before my hand could run down his cheek 'neither do I' I know this had to be a trick from those people, they must of done something. Harry can't forget about me, he can't! I need him..

I shamelessly cry while Harry looks me in the eyes, a small smile on his face until he walks back to where the door once was, he continues through the white and disappears from my sight. I hear his laugh and I close my eyes wishing myself awake.

When I open my eyes I'm back in the white room and there were black veil bride posters all over and a knife sitting in the corner of the room, Harry's words echo through the room “He doesn't know you anymore and he doesn't care” I walk over to it and sigh, it's not like it will be there when I wake up, I let the knife sit in my small hand until I decide to use it 'maybe it will help' I smile and a small tear drops from my face, I swipe it away and hold the knife to my wrist. I close my eyes and press down slicing across my skin, feeling blood come from my wrist and letting it take the words from my head dropping them to the floor beneath me. I was actually kinda relieved, it took some of the mental pain away and replaced it with the physical hurt because cuts always heal where as memories don't fade. I open my eyes and the room was painted red, I feel the guilt of letting myself feel comforted press on my heart and I fall to the ground, I needed it to hurt me not comfort me! I slice my wrist again and again hoping that the fuzzy feeling would be replaced with pain but my mind just slipped further and further away until I finally see Liam standing above me with a worried face. He didn't look like he did before, now he looked normal and I smile, glad to see that he was feeling better.

He shook his head and picked me up, the red room around me had gotten bigger until I couldn't see the end walls, just blackness with a red roof and floor.

My head lolls to one side and I see the white box we were walking to, my head tells me I've been there before but my body tells me that I don't really care right now.

'T, what did you do to yourself?' I lift my head using all the strength I could and look him in the eyes, he looked concerned but I smile back, trying to make him know that I was fine, I was better then fine now! I felt like I had lost the world and I didn't have to listen to my heart anymore because it always lead me to pain.

Liam lays me down and slips into, what I would assume was a bed, beside me. He pulled the covers up around us and he held me, I could feel him rubbing circles on my back and I hated that he was trying to make me feel again. I didn't want to hear my heart telling me what I did was wrong or reminding me that Harry had been so cold to me or that my best friend was forgetting about me. I didn't want to remember all that crap! It hurt and this didn't, I would stay like this forever if I could but Liam wants to take that away from me 'stop' I mumble

'what?' Liam pulls away and looks at me

'I said stop' I say louder

His brow furrows and he looks confused 'stop what?'

'stop trying to make me better. I don't want to feel anymore' I almost yell at him 'it hurts' I whisper to myself

'but we need you Tara, we need you to be better for us' he says pulling me closer again and I push back

'I don't want to be “better” I want to be numb, I want to not care, I want to not know whats going on because it all hurts' I was getting louder and I struggle free from his arms

'Tara..' he says trying to sooth me. I know his plan, he wants to make me better so I have to feel pain, he's jealous because I don't don't feel pain and he does 'Tara stop' he reaches out for me but I back away, I didn't want to be like him, I didn't want to go back to feeling bad 'Tara!' he yells as I crawl from the bed, I try to stand but my legs are weak and my mind was busy fixing what I had done, I try to steady myself on the wall but I fall onto it instead. I just wanted to go home!

I cry.. I collapse and cry.

I feel Liam come over and lay a hand on my back 'GO AWAY! You did this! You made me feel this way' he had finally gotten what he wanted, for me to feel this pain

'I'm sorry!' he yelled, his voice breaking. I look up and see tears running down his cheeks 'I'm sorry I failed as a guardian! I'm sorry I didn't help when your foster mum hurt you! I'm sorry I didn't protect you from those things that people said in high school, I'm sorry I couldn't get you the best family on the first try! THIS IS MY FAULT! I'm just sorry' he crouches next to me and sobs into his hands

'Li-Liam' I say, what have I done? I feel like I betrayed myself by caring for him but none of those things were his fault 'I-I'm sorry' I scoot over to him and pull him into my arms.

I stroke his hair and hold him to me until his head snaps up 'Oh god' he looks at me with puffy red eyes 'Don't believe anything they say, I'll try to get to you soon... I will find you Tara' he looks e straight in the eyes and smiles slightly 'be good' he says and my eyes close, I feel myself fall back onto the wall and Liam's hand caught my head before I struck it on something.

'Taaarrrra' I hear a light voice say and I remember it, I open my eyes and groan... she was a skinny blond with bright green eyes that were as sly as a cats 'nice to see you're awake' she said although she didn't seem to be too happy about it 'I'm Aphrodite' ohhhh, this is the chick that likes Niall, the only that stopped us when we were getting out.

I should probably be nice...

'what do you want?' I ask in a groggy voice, well I guess the being nice thing went out the window.. haha

'I want you to get your skanky ass up' she seethed 'it's time for dinner' she said

Oh! dinner!!!! yay :3 'I get up instantly and almost push past her to the door 'first get dressed' she yelled before she stormed out

'okay?' I look around until I see a door, I open it and see a bathroom.. That's not it, I look again and see handles that almost matched the walls. I walk over to them and pull, large doors swing open and I see a whole bunch of dresses, shirts and jeans. Wow for a cruel place they liked to have awesome clothes.

I picked out a pair of faded black track pants and a simple, long sleeved, gray shirt, I grab a cute Panda jumper and throw it over the top.

I go to pull down the sleeves and see faint red marks on the side on my wrists.. Don't tell me that was real. I turn my hand over and see bunches of big red cuts up my arm 'oh god' I say and tug my sleeve down 'shit!' I go to the bathroom hoping there would be something in there, I look through the draws frantically but finding nothing 'fuuuck!' I say over and over without finding a trace of makeup

'Miss, you ready to go?' a low voice says

'one second!' I guess I'll just have to hide them, I tug at my sleeves again and look up into the mirror.. My hair was friggin' everywhere! I run a brush through it trying to get the tangles out but I quickly give up on salvaging it. (some people would say that it's crazy that I'm worried about my looks in this situation but I always try, it helps me through life.. knowing that I have to try at something)

I run out of the bathroom and see one of the men at my door, I eye him carefully but he doesn't make a move to hurt me 'are you ready Miss?' he asks quietly

'umm, yeah?' I say walking slowly to the door

'good, follow me to the cafeteria' he says and strides away with long steps, I practically had to run to keep up with this big oaf.

I pull at my sleeve whenever I can while we walk down empty halls, I had just started to sweat when I see a set of blue doors 'blue is cafeteria' he says without slowing down 'yellow is public access, orange is only for people that have permission and red is staff only.. Don't go in there' he says like he was genuinely concerned for me

'okay' I say in a small voice

'you will be aloud to roam from 3rd bell to 6th bell. Other than that you'll have to follow your schedule which will be posted on your screen' he stopped and turned around handing me what looked like an Ipod 'you will be aloud to take photos, keep notes, ect. but they'll be checked systematically each night' he said as he turned around walking slower this time 'you can delete them before then though and they'll not notice' he said in a low voice as if he didn't want anybody to hear 'the cafeteria' he said holding a door open 'write down the numbers in your screen and if you need anything just “text” the number in there asking the question and they will reply immediately. I will collect you for your bath tonight' he said as I walk through the doors and he closes it behind me.. crap, how do I get back to the room?

I look around the white room and see people all different from each other, I only see few people that looked normal but the others had serious physical defects I didn't mind though, I know that if I had a defect that I wouldn't want to be laughed at or scare people.. I'd just feel bad

'Fresh meat!' someone called and laughed, I try to look at who is was but everyone was looking at me with kind smiles.. was this a nice place?

'Hi' I say lowering my head, I got a chorus of “hello's” and “hi's” from everyone around me

'oh look, another shiny toy' a girl stands up and walks over to me with a swing of the hips, she actually reminded me of Tammie 'well? Come on girls, lets see what she can do' I look around and see 4 or 5 people stand up from where she came from and everyone looked at me with pitiful eyes. I turn back around to look at “Tammie look-a-like” and I was met by a metal tray to the face, I stumble back and hold my jaw.. aw hell no! That bitch did not just hit me, I look up at them and see them smiling and high fiving each other.

I stand up and I feel Liam beside me, I smile to them with my cheek red from the force 'oh?' I raise my eyebrows, I stand up and notice that I'm slightly taller and I'm definitely going to use that to advantage, I grab “Tammie’s” hair pulling her head down and slamming into my knee, her “friends” watch as I ram my knee into her face repeatedly until I feel blood on my pants.

I pull her head up and push her away, she stumbles and catches herself by placing a hand on the table 'what are you doing!? You're not suppose to fight back, you're ment to cower in a corner and beg me to stop!' she says walking closer and wiping the blood from her face but it come rushing out her nose again.

I raise my eyebrows again as she lunges from me.. clumsily.. I take a step out of the way like I’ve been doing this for years even though the only fight I had gotten into was the “cat-fight” with Tammie and I ripped out part of her hair before she pushed me over and fractured my wrist.

She comes back for me and I stand there waiting until she was inches away from hitting me and I jump, while coming down I land a solid punch to her chest hopefully winding her. She stumbles back trying to breath and I guess that I got a good shot 'you wanna try again dear?' I say pitifully 'you can go home if you want and I'll leave you alone'

She shakes her head 'I won't cower to the likes of you! I'll do this for my baby' she raises her hand to the air 'I love you Harry!!' WAIT WHAT!?

'excuse me?' I walk over to her and she practically falls over

'yo-you heard what I said, I said I'm doing this for Harry Styles' she gains her feet by the end of the sentence. “that bitch's talking about your man, she's talking about your Harry” I hear Liam say from beside me although I know no one else could see him, I'm glad that he didn't leave me

'I'm sorry that you didn't know but One Direction split up and now I'm dating Harry... Fucking Whore' I spit at her and she smiles

'did you hear that girls? She's dating Harry Styles!' she starts laughing and so do her groupies 'wow! I've never heard that one before!'

I punch her straight in the face, I was getting tired of her shit, she falls to the ground and doesn't move but I really don't care I walk over to the table she was sitting at and I sit cross legged on top of it, claiming my prize. I see a girl start to approach me and I smile to her telling her it was okay to join me. She smiles back and moves faster to me, she sits on the table next to me and soon everyone was sitting on or near the table other then the girls that originally sat here. They were helping their friend get up and shooting me looks that could kill but I don't mind them, they're just too stupid to realize bullying was bad.

I look around until I see the open buffet 'ERMERGERD!' I call and jump up from my seat, I feel like I could eat a friggin' horse. I run over to grab a plate and then think twice about it, I grab another and lay them both on a silver tray, just like the one I got hit in the face with!

I load up on almost everything.. especially the salad, THEY HAD CEASER FUCKING SALAD! I love salad :3 'wow, you gunna leave food for the res of us?' the girl that first sat with me said

'maybeh' I say putting a hand on my hip 'anyone wanna stop me?' I look around and see everyone watching me with scared eyes 'Oh God, I'm kidding! Of course I'm gunna leave some, I just don't know when the last time I ate was' I remember Louis almost force feeding me nuggets and I smile

'oh, sorry' she said and smiled back 'you're new right?' she asked

'no I’m Tara' I say laughing at my own dad joke

'Oh my god' she said shaking her head and chuckling

'what, you didn't like it? I thought it was pretty funny' I say still smiling

'whatever. nice to meet you Tara, I'm Reuben' she holds out her hand and I grab it

'Reuben? Isn't that-' She interups me

'A boys name?' I nod and she smiles 'I was a boy.. and then I just changed, like one day I woke up and I was a 13 year old girl with boobs and a vag!' I laugh at her use of words but it's fine with me considering our situation and the place that we're in, I guess all of us have a problem that science cant figure out 'but that was a while ago I'm 17 now. I've gotten use to being a girl and living here although I've never really had a boyfriend. I didn't know what I should be interested in because I wasn't really interested in anything before I came here and now I haven't found anyone, boy or girl, that catches my fancy'

'oh, wow, Is that why you're here, seems alright I guess although I couldn't imagine your mums face when you went to see her as a.. well.. girl' I ask glad that I wasn't the only one that was unnoticeably physically deformed

'Yeah, It was pretty fucking funny. She screamed and my dad started yelling and-' her eyes turn dark 'anyway, why are you here?' I wonder what was going on.. one second it was smiles and genuin laughs and now she has to force everything.

Having her open up to me like this was good but I don't know if what happened to me was a major thing, what if it was though, what if it's this major thing and she wouldn't want to talk to me after that?

I decide to go ahead and tell her, knowing that I had nothing to lose other then a possible friend 'I- um- I didn't have a heart for like a 3 months' I try to make it sound as simple as I could, not adding the effects or any of the stuff that happened.

Reuben's eyes almost pop out of her head until she settles herself down and leans in close to me 'wow, um okay' she whispers 'you don't have to worry about anyone else asking they usually keep out of your business if you keep out of theirs' she smiles.

We walk back to the table I stole from “Tammie” before Reuben started walk off, I call her name quietly, trying not to attract attention 'Reuben! Come sit here? You can bring your friends if you want' I plead hoping I won't be alone on my first day here

'um, yeah, sure' she looks over to her table and looks towards a few people some stand up and walk towards us smiling and laughing in their own conversations.

I try to seem confident but I probably looked like the most awkward thing in the room.

'hey, so um, whats your name?' Rue asks me

'oh. My name's Tara' I smile at her and she raises an eyebrow

'you can change that you know, nobody knows you here soo..' I get what she was talking about, I could be someone else here. Someone new.

I blush when I think of the perfect name 'Hi Rue I'm Louis' I smile at her 'Lou, for short' I think of one of the adorable boys trying to find me.

'Louis? Isn't that-' I interrupt her

'A boys name?' I smile, using her words against her. She laughs and shakes her head

'yeah, that' Rue looks up at me

'I just like that name, that's all. It's out of Harry, Liam, Niall, Louis and Zayn' I smile and she nods

'okay I guess that one will do' we walk over to an empty seat left by Rue's friends and sit next to her.

 

By the time I had finished half the people from here had disappeared and I was completely full 'can we take this stuff to our rooms for later or what?' I pat my stomach and Rue laughs

'nah, this is he only time that we have to socialize, any other time like class and stuff you can do whatever... As long as the work gets done' she adds at the end

'oh' I frown and she laughs again

'it's just food' I gasp, she did not just say that!

'whaaaat?' I raise my pitch

'what?' she looks me in the eye.

She really didn't know what she did wrong 'are you kidding me? Food bring life, food gathers people, food is the right that all creatures have. Without food we all would be nothing, without food families would've never been made, people never born!' I lower my voice to a whisper 'without food... You and I would never be'

Her eyes were wide and a smile played on her lips 'are you kidding me?' she says half laughing 'oh.. you're-- you're not' her voice dies down 'I guess that make sense' she says with a shrug 'but you're kinda scaring me'

She looks down and I laugh 'I'm sorry' she looks up at me and smiles 'just don't dis my food' her face drops

'okay' she says as a dreary bell sounds 'time for class' she pulls out her “sceen” and taps on it a few times 'looks like I got Writing and Literature' she groans 'what about you?' I take my screen out from my jumper and look through it for a bit 'c'mon, we only got 30 minutes to get to our rooms'

'um, I don't know where it is'

she grabs it out of my hands and it beeps while she has hold of it 'I know, I know, shut up!' she says throwing it back to me 'you got exercise and physical work'

'whats that?' I ask as she stands up

'it's on my way so lets talk and walk' I haven't heard that term in God knows how long

'okay' I scramble up and she power walks out of the cafeteria 'whats the hurry?'I ask

'we only got 20 minutes to get there' she pulls out her screen and pulls up something 'here, I'll give you one of the maps I got when wondering from Lit to physical' my screen beeps and buzzes in my pocket 'use that to find your way, they'll only give you an extra 10 minuets so hurry' she says as she gets to an orange door 'see ya' she wave and disappears into another white room.


A/N

I know it took a while and some of it isn't that good but I wasn't counting the pages and turned out with 10 of them! oops, I usually do like 5 or 6 if I can get that much but I was kinda putting it off but I ended up with this so I had to go back through and find somewhere to cut it... I decided on this. 

Hope you liked it :D 

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